God Introduces New Bird$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('', '&')quot;The bird is back," God continued, His booming voice parting the very heavens. "And baby, it's never looked better."
According to the latest specs, etched in two tablets of stone and handed down from atop Mount Sinai, the new bird is anticipated by God to be His finest creation to date. Available in two colors-—male and female—the bird reportedly combines everything God has learned from His previous works into one "new twist on an old favorite."
In keeping with tradition, the bird has not been given a name by God, who has left it to mankind to name all the animals.
"This came out at the perfect time," said Chet Clem, Chair of Biblical Science at Oral Roberts University. "God hadn't come out with anything in a long while, and people, quite frankly, were beginning to lose faith in Him. But this bird is totally worth the wait."
Added Clem, "It's classic God."
"Our Heavenly Father has really outdone Himself this time," ornithologist Dr. Avram Wasserbaum agreed. "Birds don't tend to be His strong suit—take the buzzard or the dodo, for instance. This latest bird, though, has all of God's patented design touches: splendor, grace, and an ineffable sense of timelessness. Trust me, once folks get a load of the brilliant plumage, this thing is really going to put God back on top."
"Plus, birds are hot right now," he added.
...and I thought He was a has-been.