by Auntie_Cipation » Sat 31 Jan 2009, 16:17:02
$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('Aaron', 'W')ant to find a mate?
Stop looking.
Live your life... get out there... have fun... the things you like to do will bring you in contact with people who share your interests.
If you approach this with an agenda, you will find an agenda-based relationship.
I agree with this advice in concept, meaning that it's a good attitude to have to just proceed with the life one wants to live, and see who comes into it.
But, like Heineken and Ludi, it wouldn't be practical for me. I live in a community of under 2000 people, most of whom hold views or live lives that are in direct conflict with my own values, meaning I would never even consider a relationship with them.
There is of course a subset of the community that I enjoy and relate to (otherwise I wouldn't find this such a good place to live, obviously) but they are mostly all partnered up already or have other circumstances that make them unappealing to me (alcohol problems, etc). Now add to the equation the fact that I am looking for a particular kind of life (ie, peak oil aware, homestead-y) and that again rules out most of whoever's left. I could probably count on my fingers the number of people in my community who I could be truly compatible with. And it's entirely possible that the number is zero.
But still, this is the *kind* of community I do want to live in. So how to know which of the communities of this kind I should be in, in order to find the needle in the haystack? Or should I move to the city, a place I *know* I don't want to live, just to increase the number of people I'm in proximity to? No thanks!
So, given all that, the online networks are not a bad idea. Especially if you can find one that's somewhat filtered, aimed at people you already have some major commonalities with. (Such as, for example, if po.com had a singles forum...)
One of my perennial questions: "How does a hermit find another hermit?"
"... among the ways available in which a man can die, it is a rare and signal distinction to be killed by a leopard."
-- Raymond Dasmann