by Auntie_Cipation » Fri 30 Jan 2009, 15:33:03
$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('Heineken', 'I')'m trying, Auntie, but it seems many or even most American women operate from a platform of intense suspicion, distrust, and fear of men.
Men are assumed to be conniving liars whose only real objective is a little nookie.
It's a case of many bad apples (and not just one) spoiling the whole bunch.
So as I see it a personals ad needs to attempt to allay these concerns, to the degree possible. You don't do that by portraying yourself as a wild nonconformist.
I understand, Heineken. I forgot that I'm speaking from the female perspective, where it's much less risky to present myself as a non-conformist.
And I do understand the wariness about men and whether they are what they appear to be. I'm in the early stages of a correspondence right now, and I'm experiencing exactly those questions -- IF he's just as he seems to be, then I'm encouraged. But how do I know when it's ok to drop my wariness? For some women, they find themselves duped or taken advantage of years later.
And as my new friend and I have already discussed, this does not seem to be the time for taking chances on what might turn out to be only a short-term relationship. Within a year or two the idea of having your plans and preps suddenly vanish and finding yourself "searching for a new situation" might be *really* inadvisable.
And yes, he found me by searching for "peak oil" on one of the online sites...

"... among the ways available in which a man can die, it is a rare and signal distinction to be killed by a leopard."
-- Raymond Dasmann