by hope_full » Tue 02 Dec 2008, 06:49:39
$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('', 'D')o any women have any idea of how many guys don't feel like the woman knows them?
But there's the rub. Women are trained - largely by societal mores and more subtle cultural influences - to be coy and play games and to NOT BE TRUE TO THEMSELVES and to SILENCE those "whispers of the soul," but to PLAY a part in order to be perceived as beautiful and desirable. This is mental torture, ever moreso for a woman who is not naturally deferential and demure. (I speak from experience on this one).
Women that are interested in finding their life's purpose and pursuing careers that are aligned with their natural bends are instructed to "think back to when you were five years old and remember what made you happy." Apparently that's when most of us lost our true authentic selves and our real souls were buried whilst still alive; buried under a mound of "you ought to be more..." whatever. More humble, more quiet, more respectful, more ladylike, more soft-spoken.
As the bumpersticker says, "Well behaved women rarely make history," and yet we're all taught to be "Well behaved." How many stories are there of women who ignored their natural instincts and were POLITE - so polite that they ended up assaulted, attacked, injured and worse? We're instructed out of ourselves so far that even our personal safety and natural biological urges to stay out of harm's way has been lost. How pitiful. How wrong.
Look at the books targeted to women - especially those books that relate to dating. A best-seller was "Finding a Husband after 35; What I Learned at Harvard Business School." It's a book about HOW to market yourself - and imho, a book on how to PLAY THE GAME especially well and PUT ON A SHOW so that men will find you attractive.
Wouldn't it just be infinitely easier if women were allowed to be their own intriguing, enchanting, fascinating, genuine selves? Stats show that unmarried women live the longest and their married counterparts go much sooner. The opposite is true for men: Married men live the longest. This whole pair-bonding thing is very hard on women - probably because we've learned we that have to bury our real selves in order for a long-term relationship to survive.
Women who are classic Type A's out in the real world have to don the virtual apron of humility and quietude and be deferential little sweet things at home, in order for the marriage to work.
This outrageous onus of fakery is never asked of men. They're taught from the ground up to just be who they really are. I think that's why there are all the jokes and goofball stories of men being so simple and women being so complicated and hard to understand. It's tough to play a role that is not true to your own soul.