[Budmeister]

1.) Legalize marijuana worldwide! In fact make weed the new world currency. (talk about your life's savings going up in smoke....)

2.) Get stoned and sodomize Paris Hilton for 6 1/2 hours straight. (bet that would wipe that stupid smirk off her face)

3.) By this time I would be too stoned and outta steam to even imagine what number 3 might be.

[PenultimateManStanding]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('Budmeister', '1').) Legalize marijuana worldwide! In fact make weed the new world currency. (talk about your life's savings going up in smoke....)

2.) Get stoned and sodomize Paris Hilton for 6 1/2 hours straight. (bet that would wipe that stupid smirk off her face)

3.) By this time I would be too stoned and outta steam to even imagine what number 3 might be.

[Raxozanne]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('Cool Hand Linc', '
')After the criminal gangs have taken out most of the weak minded non gun range shootin peoples. Then we intelligent law abiding citizens can clean out the gangs and the population will be just about right.

[lawnchair]

Certainly the 'one child' policy would be the most dramatic. Think... human population could be on the decline 9 months from today...

"No cars" would be damned impressive. Ever go down the street and imagine the scene with no cars? Parking lots, wide uncrossable streets, gas stations, repair shops, dealerships, insurance offices, road construction quarries, police stations, parts stores, drive-through windows, driveways... Half of the North American urban environment is devoted to the damn car.

But, my edict: Each continent gets a nuclear waste dump, no whineing, just do it already. Then, Thorium and U238 breeder reactors out the yinyang.

[Wildwell]

1. Give each china man a tube of superglue and instruct them to glue all worlds’ car tyres to the tarmac.

2. Bring the US back into the British Empire.

3. Develop a way of running trucks on cornflakes, old socks and French wine.

4. Develop large treadmills for prisoners, scum and other undesirables.

5. Ban daytime TV to save electricity

6. Plant a lot of trees and start a tree worshiping cult, headed by Lorenzo.

7. Restrict each woman to have two pairs of shoes each.

8. Write a nice letter to Santa Claus for 12 new oil fields, which replenish themselves and don’t add to global warming.

9. Ban junk mail

10. Not thought of 10 yet.

[RiverRat]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('Cool Hand Linc', 'O')h ya!
I like the way you think Aaron!

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('', '
')The stupid, weak and irresponsible must go !!! That will solve 'overshoot' in an instant !!!

[Daculling]

Ban all modern media. You can run newspapers but you can't profit from it. If you profit you will be executed.

I think it would be funny to see how people would react to this. In all seriousness, population control #1

[Barbara]

It's really interesting. 90% of proposals are related to:

- exterminate population
- nuke population
- reduce population to 10%

exactly what the REAL world emperors are actually thinking...

[Doly]

Alternative scenario: let's suppose that killing people is not allowed (maybe because it would be a bit too harsh on your own conscience). Reducing fertility is allowed, though.

Suggestions?

[Omnitir]

If I were world emperor, I would do only two things:

1) Set up a single world government consisting only of the best scientists in the world, who rule with absolute authority. These scientists make all governing decisions based on what they collectively decided is best for the entire planet, regardless of what the masses think they want.

2) Retire as emperor and concede to the rule of the science government like everyone else.

[Specop_007]

Damn sure first thing I'd do is kick a star off Old Glory and kick Cali out of the Union.

Then we'd go from there.

[Madpaddy]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('', 'S')o you're elected World Emperor. Compliments!
Being a peakoiler, you decide your main responsibility is to help the world to face oil depletion in the smoothest way.
What's your FIRST decision?

[PenultimateManStanding]

Speaking of boning porn-star gardeners, here's an interesting take on the rapacious male. Its a story about Frankie Lee who screws himself to death

THE BALLAD OF FRANKIE LEE AND JUDAS PRIEST

Words and Music by Bob Dylan
1968 Dwarf Music




Well, Frankie Lee and Judas Priest,
They were the best of friends.
So when Frankie Lee needed money one day,
Judas quickly pulled out a roll of tens
And placed them on a footstool
Just above the plotted plain,
Sayin', "Take your pick, Frankie Boy,
My loss will be your gain."

Well, Frankie Lee, he sat right down
And put his fingers to his chin,
But with the cold eyes of Judas on him,
His head began to spin.
"Would ya please not stare at me like that," he said,
"It's just my foolish pride,
But sometimes a man must be alone
And this is no place to hide."

Well, Judas, he just winked and said,
"All right, I'll leave you here,
But you'd better hurry up and choose
Which of those bills you want,
Before they all disappear."
"I'm gonna start my pickin' right now,
Just tell me where you'll be."


Judas pointed down the road
And said, "Eternity!"
"Eternity?" said Frankie Lee,
With a voice as cold as ice.
"That's right," said Judas Priest, "Eternity,
Though you might call it 'Paradise.'"

"I don't call it anything,"
Said Frankie Lee with a smile.
"All right," said Judas Priest,
"I'll see you after a while."

Well, Frankie Lee, he sat back down,
Feelin' low and mean,
When just then a passing stranger
Burst upon the scene,
Saying, "Are you Frankie Lee, the gambler,
Whose father is deceased?
Well, if you are,
There's a fellow callin' you down the road
And they say his name is Priest."

"Oh, yes, he is my friend,"
Said Frankie Lee in fright,
"I do recall him very well,
In fact, he just left my sight."
"Yes, that's the one," said the stranger,
As quiet as a mouse,
"Well, my message is, he's down the road,
Stranded in a house."

Well, Frankie Lee, he panicked,
He dropped ev'rything and ran
Until he came up to the spot
Where Judas Priest did stand.
"What kind of house is this," he said,
"Where I have come to roam?"
"It's not a house," said Judas Priest,
"It's not a house . . . it's a home."

Well, Frankie Lee, he trembled,
He soon lost all control
Over ev'rything which he had made
While the mission bells did toll.
He just stood there staring
At that big house as bright as any sun,
With four and twenty windows
And a woman's face in ev'ry one.

Well, up the stairs ran Frankie Lee
With a soulful, bounding leap,
And, foaming at the mouth,
He began to make his midnight creep.
For sixteen nights and days he raved,
But on the seventeenth he burst
Into the arms of Judas Priest,
Which is where he died of thirst.

No one tried to say a thing
When they took him out in jest,
Except, of course, the little neighbor boy
Who carried him to rest.
And he just walked along, alone,
With his guilt so well concealed,
And muttered underneath his breath,
"Nothing is revealed."

Well, the moral of the story,
The moral of this song,
Is simply that one should never be
Where one does not belong.
So when you see your neighbor carryin' somethin',
Help him with his load,
And don't go mistaking Paradise
For that home across the road.

[highlander]

Wildwell, why on earth would you want the US back in the UK?
Ultimate power corrupts. As world emperor, I would realize that mandating birth control won't work. so I'd call all the population control advocates in and have them executed. Followed by career politicians, lawyers, career criminals. Then there are a couple of scary posters on peak oil, they know who they are. They would be in my cabinet where I could watch them

[PenultimateManStanding]

"where he died of thirst" Interesting line don't you think? Give a man unbridled access to women's charms and he will run roughshod over other men. Its ingrained in our natures and thats why we face this disaster.

[Dezakin]

Well its an interesting topic, but it is tragic to see so many ignorant millenial cult types howling into the void on vast holocaust programs for the good of humanity building their own personal Lebensraum.

Lets assume I seized power somehow, and in the course of seizing power managed to stay relatively uncorrupt... Spending no more than 10% of my time shoring up my own personal power base and sweating about potential conspiracies to rob me of my newfound power.

The first thing that would fall into play would be streamlining of the economy to maximize economic growth within my ideological parameters; flat or slightly progressive tax systems on all income, including inheritance (sorry if you have to sell grandads estate) and elimination of all the nastiness in the US code regarding mortgage interest deductions, child tax credits, etcetera. Get rid of social security as a retirement entitlement and keep it for actual need (you will not be forced onto the street if you are physically unable to work.)

Decriminalization of all drugs would be the next thing that followed, along with most other things that are forced into the black market that allows the mob to thrive. I'd remove all trade barriers currently in place to allow international commerce to really thrive, and that includes restrictions on movement of labor: no anti-immigration laws.

Then I'd rewrite the rules of global equity and debt markets so that all corporate entities were forced to be at least as transparent and so on as those traded under the SEC. I'd probably institute a single global fiat currency as well (might as well be the dollar) and a 24 hour stock and commodities market exchange.

On the energy front I would give all coal power plants ten years to run at most and institute massive build up of nuclear power reactors (molten salts of course) and likewise push for development of enormous synthetic fuel plants for utilizing all the free coal.

After that just programs to realign our infrastructure to cope with more expensive transportation fuel and cheaper electricity.

The rest of it is standard stuff. Massive anti-corruption drive in the developing world, universal education for all (with weight given to science and engineering, not stupid art history crap) and do something to discredit religeon wherever possible.

Then I'd sail around the world in my personal luxury submarine doing cocaine and concubines certainly.

[MonteQuest]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('lawnchair', 'C')ertainly the 'one child' policy would be the most dramatic. Think... human population could be on the decline 9 months from today....

[0mar]

so no one wants to do lines of coke off hookers? I'm disappointed in you all.

[turmoil]

I'd have scientists develop a Matrix and put everyone in it.

Difference between the movie and mine:

anyone smart enough to not exploit the real world for personal gain could leave the matrix and live in the real world with me developing ways to one day travel the universe or harness the fusion energy of the sun, etc. the rest can continue using up the resources in the matrix until they end up killing themselves.

[Specop_007]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('0mar', 's')o no one wants to do lines of coke off hookers? I'm disappointed in you all.