[efarmer]

I sure as hell ain't Cupid Keith, but for starters you need to lose
that drab gray look and get a little color me beautiful thing
going on your barrel. You might consider not showing all
those pearly whites and see if you have enough lips to
cover them bad boys and just let a little smile peek out.
If I wasn't twisting the Nigerian's arm to burp up my
swag shipment, I would ask him about a few of his
jungle love moves. Good luck Keith, you might try
some catchy hooks like: "Irish Petroshark seeks
Nubian love connection." or something like that...

[efarmer]

Okay, I get it, the Nigerian is gone and my swag is never going to
show up.

Best of luck Mr. Nigerian, it was awfully swell while it lasted, and
happy trails to you and the mule you rode in on.

efarmer

[efarmer]

I think it only fitting that the efarmer follow his favorite mule
out into the great pasture where the sky meets the blowing
sage. Point the wagon tongues north at night and wake up
with something funny to carry you westward with the morning
light.

[BigTex]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('efarmer', 'O')kay, I get it, the Nigerian is gone and my swag is never going to
show up.

Best of luck Mr. Nigerian, it was awfully swell while it lasted, and
happy trails to you and the mule you rode in on.

efarmer

[PrairieMule]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('BigTex', '
')
I wonder what happened to my grab bag of swag credits?

I was saving them up to try to get a prize from the top row.

[BigTex]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('PrairieMule', '')$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('BigTex', '
')
I wonder what happened to my grab bag of swag credits?

I was saving them up to try to get a prize from the top row.

[Keith_McClary]

Well, at least we are going to get our money back from these sleazy Nigerian Letter scams.$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('', 'F')rom: ALEX ADAMS <antiscamrefund@aol.com>
Reply-to: <antiscamrefund@aol.com>
To: undisclosed-recipients : ;
Subject: SCAM REFUND
Date: Wed, 10 Jun 2009 12:31:05 -0700 (19:31 UTC)


Attention:

This email is not in any manner directed to you, but it’s purposely and specifically directed to Nigeria Scam victims. If you have fallen for Nigerian Scams, do not hesitate to contact us for more details on how we can help.

We shall be waiting to hear from you, being certain that you were truly scammed by a Nigerian, and you have proof to that effect. Through dating, money transfer, credit cards, collection of goods, etc.

Yours faithfully,
Alex Adams
ANTI NIGERIA SCAM REFUND DEPT.

[BigTex]

Here is an email I received this morning (I love this stuff):

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('', 'D')EAR BIGTEX,

I GOT YOUR CONTACT WITH TRUE BELIEVE THAT YOU ARE THE TYPE OF PERSON I CAN TRUST, I HUMBLY ASK FOR YOUR COOPERATION AS MY FAMILY' FURTUNE IS IN DANGER IF NOT WELL HANDLED.

I AM LT.COL LUCAS , SON TO THE LATE GENERAL JONAS SAVIMBI, LEADER OF THE ANGOLAN UNITA REBEL WHO WAS SHOT DEAD ON MONDAY 25TH FEBRUARY 2002 BY THE OPPOSING FORCES OF ANGOLAN ARMY.
FOR THE PAST YEARS NOW OUR COUNTRY HAVE BEEN IN POLITICAL CRISIS AND CONFLICTS BETWEEN THE UNITA REBEL AND GOVERNMENT ALLIED FORCES.

AS A MATTER OF FACT,BEFORE THE DEATH OF MY FATHER, I WAS GIVEN
US$10,5MILLION DOLLARS AND GOLD BAR , MEANT FOR THE PURCHASING OF FIRE ARMS AND AMMUNITIONS FROM RUSSIA AND A MINI LAFAYETTE FRIGATE FROM UKRAINE.

AFTER HIS DEATH, I CONSIDERED IT A GREAT OPPORTUNITY AS HE IS NOW
LATE TO CONSPHICATE THE PACKAGE AND DIVERTED IT FROM EUROPE THROUGH THE FREIGHT DEPT . WHERE IT HAS BEEN DEPOSITED ON A SPECIAL ARRANGEMENT WITH DIPLOMATIC SERVICE IN SPAIN AS A PERSONAL TREASURE.

THEREFORE, MY AIM OF CONTACTING YOU IS FOR YOU TO ASSIST ME WITH YOUR PERSONALITY AND INFLUENCE TO TRANSFER AND SECURE THE SAID TREASURE OVER TO YOUR COUNTRY, INTO YOUR POSSESSION. I HAVE THE AMBITION OF INVESTING THIS MONEY IN ASIA AND AS WELL KEEPING A LONG LASTING RELATIONSHIP WITH YOU.

PRESENTLY, I STAY IN PORT-NOVO WHERE I HAVE BEEN IN HIDE-OUT SINCE THE PAST YEARS I WAS SENT ON THIS ASSIGNMENT BEFORE MY FATHER DIED. I WOULD LIKE TO APPEAL TO YOU THAT AM ANXIOUSLY LOOKING FORWARD FOR YOUR IMMEDIATE RESPONSE AS THE URGENCY IMPLIES.

I NEED YOU TO STAND AS MY LATE FATHER'S BENEFICIARY TO THIS
CONSIGNMENT SO THAT YOU WILL USE YOUR PERSONALITY AS A FOREIGNER TO COMMUNICATE WITH COURRIER SERVICE AGENCY TO TRANSFER THIS TREASURE TO YOUR LOCATION BECAUSE I AM NOT PERMITTED TO TRAVEL TO OUT OF AFRICA FOR DIPLOMATIC REASONS.
IF YOU CAN SINCERELY ASSIST ME TOWARDS SECURING THIS FUND, WITHOUT ANY AOUTER OF SELFISHNESS, BY YOUR TRUST, WE SHALL DISCUSS ABOUT YOUR PERCENTAGE SHARE FIRST AS SOON AS I RECEIVE YOUR URGENT AND POSITIVE REPLY. AND FURTHER JOINT VENTURES.
PLEASE KINDLY, HANDLE THIS PROPOSAL WITH YOUR UTMOST CONFIDENTIALITY AS I WILL BE HERE TO COORDINATE INFORMATION FOR YOU TO ASSIST YOU UNDER MY APPROVAL FOR ONWARD TRANSFER TO YOUR COUNTRY.

Note: No one knows the real content of consignment uptill date. so i want you to protect the fund to ensure safety on my side.

I HOPE THAT MY COMMUNICATION WITH YOU WILL BE CONSIDERED WITH EVERY CONFIDENTIALITY.

THANK AND GOD BLESS YOU.

sincerely
Col.LUCAS SAVIMBI

[jasonraymondson]

I am so sad, I haven't received a friendly communication like that in months. Don't they know I want some free money to??? Big Tex, could you introduce me to these wonderful hard working people?

[PrairieMule]

Good Hello from Nigeria!

Me is Ebay! Me understand You like the Mafia Wars on the facebook! Me understand because me get the mafia war invation on the facebook.

So..

Me now proud to offer Nigerian Tribal Warfare Online! All of you whites are formally invited to join a most pleasurable game of Nigerian tribal warfare. First, go to http://www.metribalwar.net and register now! It only costs 10 cents a day and is convienently deducted from your checking or savings acct. Second you must choose a avitar, tribe, and you be issued a negative balance which represents your share of the national debt and level of poverty. Third you must establish mighty tribe and build your compound. Now even you can crush others in a never ending tribal conflict. Solicit UN humanitarian aid to upgrade your small arm or purchase a gently used mercedes! Post tips and strategies daily withour online forum moderated by nigerians!

[BigTex]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('PrairieMule', 'G')ood Hello from Nigeria!

Me is Ebay! Me understand You like the Mafia Wars on the facebook! Me understand because me get the mafia war invation on the facebook.

So..

Me now proud to offer Nigerian Tribal Warfare Online! All of you whites are formally invited to join a most pleasurable game of Nigerian tribal warfare.

[BigTex]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('jasonraymondson', 'I') am so sad, I haven't received a friendly communication like that in months. Don't they know I want some free money to??? Big Tex, could you introduce me to these wonderful hard working people?

[jasonraymondson]

Big Tex,

Thanks for setting up correspondence between myself and the nigerians. I do believe that this will a benefical and rewarding experience for all parties.


on a side note
I almost fell to the ground laughing.

[PrairieMule]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('BigTex', '')$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('PrairieMule', 'G')ood Hello from Nigeria!

Me is Ebay! Me understand You like the Mafia Wars on the facebook! Me understand because me get the mafia war invation on the facebook.

So..

Me now proud to offer Nigerian Tribal Warfare Online! All of you whites are formally invited to join a most pleasurable game of Nigerian tribal warfare.

[BigTex]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('PrairieMule', 'M')r Tex,

It is true that NTW 09 is not for purchase yet. This is most disapointing. The designers at Digital Igbo Applications have been working on getting this to market for almost 5 years now. The software designers say the Wii nunchuk had great potential in its virtual machete mode. It seems the Movement for the Emancipation of the Nigerian Delta are most displeased with the entire concept of be shot as sport.

[PrairieMule]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('BigTex', '')$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('PrairieMule', 'M')r Tex,

It is true that NTW 09 is not for purchase yet. This is most disapointing. The designers at Digital Igbo Applications have been working on getting this to market for almost 5 years now. The software designers say the Wii nunchuk had great potential in its virtual machete mode. It seems the Movement for the Emancipation of the Nigerian Delta are most displeased with the entire concept of be shot as sport.

[emersonbiggins]

Mr. Nigerian:

I'm in the market for a nice hybrid or urban bicycle, to commute to work (5 miles one-way) and pedal around the neighborhood. Not looking to become 100-mile Lance on the weekends or anything, just something that's a little less arduous to maneuver and ride than my current mountain bike.

Any suggestions? Or would another kind of vehicle suit me better?

Thanks in advance,
EB

[PrairieMule]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('emersonbiggins', 'M')r. Nigerian:

I'm in the market for a nice hybrid or urban bicycle, to commute to work (5 miles one-way) and pedal around the neighborhood. Not looking to become 100-mile Lance on the weekends or anything, just something that's a little less arduous to maneuver and ride than my current mountain bike.

Any suggestions? Or would another kind of vehicle suit me better?

Thanks in advance,
EB

[BigTex]

Mr Nigerian,

Is there a problem with bicycle theft in your country?

For anyone planning a bicycle tour of your beautiful land, would you recommend that they bring some type of security device for their bicycle, and if so what type would you recommend?

Many thanks in advance!

(BTW, I live in Texas, home of egomaniac cancer survivor bicyclist Lance Armstrong. I have enjoyed watching him ride his bicycle in the Tour de France. Has anyone in your country considered the idea of having a bicycle tour fashioned along the lines of the Tour de France? You could call it the "Tour de Nigeria", or maybe "Pedal for Your Life!".)

[emersonbiggins]

Many thanks, Dr. Abayo - I have chosen a ride that I believe I will find suitable - a nice Marin Fairfax urban bicycle, although in purchasing the bicycle, I failed to remember that I do not have a suitable rack to get the bike the 20-mile distance back to my house. It's funny that you mention escaping violence on a bicycle, as this purchase was either between a bicycle, or a 9mm Sig. The Sig will have to wait.