[Keith_McClary]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('', 'F')rom: Minister of the Treasury Paulson

Subject: REQUEST FOR URGENT CONFIDENTIAL BUSINESS RELATIONSHIP

Dear American:

I need to ask you to support an urgent secret business relationship with
a transfer of funds of great magnitude.

I am Ministry of the Treasury of the Republic of America. My country has
had crisis that has caused the need for large transfer of funds of 800
billion dollars US. If you would assist me in this transfer, it would be
most profitable to you.

I am working with Mr. Phil Gram, lobbyist for UBS, who will be my
replacement as Ministry of the Treasury in January. As a Senator, you
may know him as the leader of the American banking deregulation movement
in the 1990s. This transactin is 100% safe.

This is a matter of great urgency. We need a blank check. We need the
funds as quickly as possible. We cannot directly transfer these funds in
the names of our close friends because we are constantly under
surveillance. My family lawyer advised me that I should look for a
reliable and trustworthy person who will act as a next of kin so the
funds can be transferred.

Please reply with all of your bank account, IRA and college fund account
numbers and those of your children and grandchildren to
wallstreetbailout@treasury.gov
so that we may transfer your commission
for this transaction. After I receive that information, I will respond
with detailed information about safeguards that will be used to protect
the funds.

Yours Faithfully
Minister of Treasury Paulson

[PrairieMule]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('Keith_McClary', '')$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('', 'F')rom: Minister of the Treasury Paulson

Subject: REQUEST FOR URGENT CONFIDENTIAL BUSINESS RELATIONSHIP

Dear American:

I need to ask you to support an urgent secret business relationship with
a transfer of funds of great magnitude.

I am Ministry of the Treasury of the Republic of America. My country has
had crisis that has caused the need for large transfer of funds of 800
billion dollars US. If you would assist me in this transfer, it would be
most profitable to you.

I am working with Mr. Phil Gram, lobbyist for UBS, who will be my
replacement as Ministry of the Treasury in January. As a Senator, you
may know him as the leader of the American banking deregulation movement
in the 1990s. This transactin is 100% safe.

This is a matter of great urgency. We need a blank check. We need the
funds as quickly as possible. We cannot directly transfer these funds in
the names of our close friends because we are constantly under
surveillance. My family lawyer advised me that I should look for a
reliable and trustworthy person who will act as a next of kin so the
funds can be transferred.

Please reply with all of your bank account, IRA and college fund account
numbers and those of your children and grandchildren to
wallstreetbailout@treasury.gov
so that we may transfer your commission
for this transaction. After I receive that information, I will respond
with detailed information about safeguards that will be used to protect
the funds.

Yours Faithfully
Minister of Treasury Paulson

[efarmer]

Mr. Nigerian, I am following the story of the Somalian pirates
who capture ships in the Gulf of Aden and then hold them
for ransom, the latest being a shipload of Russian T-72
tanks bound for Kenya on a Ukrainian freighter.

1. Do these pirates inspire movies, theme park attractions,
and tawdry romance novels based on The Pirates of the
Somalian story line and meme in your part of the world?

2. Do you think your countrymen will be able to offer these
T-72's on Ebay before it leaks out that the Somali pirates
have trust issues with you that tainted your offer of brokering
the goods for them?

3. When the Russian Special Forces arrive to pay a visit
will a Johnny Depp like figure arise to lead The Pirates
of the Somalian in battle, or will they simply revert to the
old trick of flying the NATO and UN flags on their boats?

4. If the Gulf of Aden gets too risky for them to operate,
do you think they would regroup and prey on the yachts
of American investment bankers and hedge fund executives
in the vicinity of the Cayman Islands if bribed by thousands
of ordinary American citizens submitting Paypal funds to
their registered agents in your fine country?

[PrairieMule]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('efarmer', 'M')r. Nigerian, I am following the story of the Somalian pirates
who capture ships in the Gulf of Aden and then hold them
for ransom, the latest being a shipload of Russian T-72
tanks bound for Kenya on a Ukrainian freighter.

1. Do these pirates inspire movies, theme park attractions,
and tawdry romance novels based on The Pirates of the
Somalian story line and meme in your part of the world?

2. Do you think your countrymen will be able to offer these
T-72's on Ebay before it leaks out that the Somali pirates
have trust issues with you that tainted your offer of brokering
the goods for them?

3. When the Russian Special Forces arrive to pay a visit
will a Johnny Depp like figure arise to lead The Pirates
of the Somalian in battle, or will they simply revert to the
old trick of flying the NATO and UN flags on their boats?

4. If the Gulf of Aden gets too risky for them to operate,
do you think they would regroup and prey on the yachts
of American investment bankers and hedge fund executives
in the vicinity of the Cayman Islands if bribed by thousands
of ordinary American citizens submitting Paypal funds to
their registered agents in your fine country?

[PrairieMule]

Dear Mr.Farmer,

Thank you for your interest in the Nigerian affairs. I am Gen Ayo of the Nigerian Army. My close consular and mighty dignitary of the proud peoples of Nigeria tells me you are of keen insight and has vouched for your integrity. To that end, I offer a business opportunity. It has come with in my realm that a large number of Soviet urban pacification vehicles will change hands soon. To oversee this transaction I require monies to travel and entertain all parties in this transaction as well as ensure my personal security. In return I shall share 1/3 of the monies into be deposited into a business account at the Bank Of Nigeria.

Once the transaction has been completed I will fly you and all other parties on my Grumman Gulfstream to the Grand Cayman, British West Indes. From there you will live like a great king.

Gen Ayo

[efarmer]

Dear General Ayo,
I will consider the key information you have provided me
in conjunction with my previous commitments to stay
on my mission with my two she warrior companions,
(the older one has been requiring a rigorous training
regimen with a rear up Vladmir Putin target in the
event she has to deploy to Alaska).

Before I have time to respond, I assume you will have
had the chance to socialize with the Russian
Spetznaz and raise a glass of vodka or the local
hypnotic hootch. May I suggest that you avoid playing
the Ray Charles classic tune, "Georgia" during the party,
you see for you and I it is one of Ray's smooth and
sentimental classics, but to these Spetznaz boys,
a good pull of vodka and that song is an invitation
to wreck the joint and to load up all the commodes
to take back home as souvenirs.

You look nervous as hell in the photo, if things go shabby
with the Russians, tell them your cousin owns a nightclub
in Venezuela and that you can line them all up with comp
VIP passes, also, practice your "nyet" and "da", this will
cut your waterboard time down to almost nothing.

You have big round ones General Ayo, it is my sincere
hope that you keep at least one of them, even if it
is dried like a piece of jerky and in your scrapbook.

Good Luck,

Efarmer

[PrairieMule]

Mr Farmer,

Thank you for consideration and prompt correspondence. Men like us were born to be mighty kings! No doubt you are a man mighty of influence and your compound armed with formidable soldiers.

Let me reasure you everything will be with out incident unless Dept Head Rawlings shows up with his strike team. If that happens my good friend internation arms dealer Count Von Hefflin will dispatch many prototype hunter-killer robots.

See know you know the real money is in hunter-killer robots, not aging soviet bloc armor. Yet it takes a lot of capital to develop the research and development for hunter-killer robots. Don't get me started on what it costs to deal with French labor unions where our robots are manufactured. This is where you come in. Please reconsider this rare opportunity. I shall have my trusted barrister draw up and fax you a proposal for your careful review.

You and your she warriors should come to my timeshare at Tahiti Village in Las Vegas next weekend. There we will spill the wine and close down all the topless cabarets reserved for men of our stature.


Gen Ayo

[efarmer]

Those poor pirates have been holed up in a hot ship with a
crew of Ukrainians for days on end, Dr. Jekyll, with you being
a medical man and all, it should be obvious that even if you
sterilized them they would soon be stinky and loaded
up with bacteria once again and probably crotch crickets
and other insects as well.

Still, I think you ought to hold out for something from
the Groovy Bag of Swag for applying your clinical mind
to making the poor pirates more comfortable and less
prone to infection, regardless of their behaviors or
legal problems. Knowing you are a doctor and could
make a profit from rendering such sterilizing but did not
attempt to worm your way in on the deal, shows me you
are a noble healer indeed. Kudos Dr. Jekyll and give my
regards to your better half.

[PrairieMule]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('Dr_Jekyll', 'T')he best way to help the poor is to sterilize them.

[Keith_McClary]

Just when it gets interesting, this thread is broken:

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('', 'N')o posts exist for this topic

[PrairieMule]

Once again I shame my father with lies for my own amusement. While it can not be confirmed that Don Cheadle's views have any impact, I should not have imposed on your trusting nature. I apoligize to Mr Cheadle for impersonating him. I also am very very sorry I pirated his new film: Traitor. Also it it not ok to apply for home equity loans with information from my father's wallet. Americans are losing their compounds because of this behavior. From now on I will dedicate my life to work for the goverment.

I really sorry. Ok

Ojie

[PenultimateManStanding]

Don't worry about it Ojie. Maybe you can answer a question for me. As Mr. Keith pointed out, sometime the forum tells this scurrilous lie that no posts exist for a topic. Why do people lie like that?

[PrairieMule]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('PenultimateManStanding', 'D')on't worry about it Ojie. Maybe you can answer a question for me. As Mr. Keith pointed out, sometime the forum tells this scurrilous lie that no posts exist for a topic. Why do people lie like that?

[PenultimateManStanding]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('PrairieMule', ' ')
While Daddy is out I have the Groovy Grab Bag! You win a Renault Micro van! I need your help. The van is wedged beween a truck and the wall outside my house. Please come get it now before my dad asked what happens ok?

[efarmer]

General Ayo,
I understand the Pirates of the Somalian are threatening
to scuttle the freighter with it's cargo now if their ransom
is not paid. Since their small watercraft are attached
and they are surrounded by US Naval vessels, I feel it is
highly likely that their getaway vessels will beat the freighter
to the bottom perhaps by hours or days.

If you are still in contact with the Pirates of the Somalian,
remind them that it is normal for everyone to believe that
their own inflatable dinghy is good but suspect that the next
fellow's is perhaps not. Please have the pirates check their
dinghies carefully and to consider blowing on each others
dinghies to insure they are good to go.

[PrairieMule]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('efarmer', 'G')eneral Ayo,
I understand the Pirates of the Somalian are threatening
to scuttle the freighter with it's cargo now if their ransom
is not paid. Since their small watercraft are attached
and they are surrounded by US Naval vessels, I feel it is
highly likely that their getaway vessels will beat the freighter
to the bottom perhaps by hours or days.

If you are still in contact with the Pirates of the Somalian,
remind them that it is normal for everyone to believe that
their own inflatable dinghy is good but suspect that the next
fellow's is perhaps not. Please have the pirates check their
dinghies carefully and to consider blowing on each others
dinghies to insure they are good to go.

[efarmer]

I searched for news on the Pirates of the Somalian today,
and saw that they had captured a Greek boat and had
decided to release Fillipino Semen. If it does turn out
that these men fight the commandos of the world, I
hope they save some of them so that Monsanto
can figure out how their genetic prowess might be turned
into a cash crop instead of terror on the high seas.

Sorry to hear about General Ayo, what finally got to him,
staff infection? I don't buy the chute packing story,
cause I know he would have had a French packed
reserve to ride, just in case.

[PenultimateManStanding]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('efarmer', '
')saw that they had captured a Greek boat and had
decided to release Fillipino Semen.

[PrairieMule]

Dear Nigerian,

Thank you for your links on Classic Nigerian TV commericals in the open section. I wish to call to your attention to 4 min 17 seconds into the second set of commercials.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JD6WyYyu ... re=related

By proffesion, I am a dental hygentist here in Denton, Tx. I noticed Close up toothpaste carries the esteemed endorsement of the Nigerian Dental Association. I find this puzzling because here in America Closeup does not carry a endorsement from the American Dental Association.

That seems totally unfair.

Amber Symthe
Denton, Tx



Dear Amber,

That dear child is because Nigerian Dentists were bribed for their endorsement. Now I have seen your american version of Close up commercials. I believe the ADA wishes to have no ties to a product favored by Close up. Those commercials show users of Close up as hedonistic american swingers.



Shame Shame! I have seen mongrels in the streets of Lagos with more modesty than you americans!

For her question, Ms Amber shall recieve a palate of Elephant laundy soap from the ASK A NIGERIAN!'S GROOVY GRAB BAG OF SWAG

Nothing cleans your buda or dress like the powerful end product of the Elephant! Elephant Soap, Yes it comes from the Elephant!

[efarmer]

Okay Nigerian, I know you fell for it, a scammer can't lay off
a world class scam. So just how much money did you have
with Madoff?

Tell me the truth and I will reward you from Efarmer's goofy
bag of swag with a "Bernie loves Ponzi" T shirt and a big
bottle of chewable antacids.