If I were to sit down and spell out exactly what the future holds for my sullen, depressed, negative, lazy, sour, unmotivated, self-centered 16-year-old, his mom and I would have to put him on a 24/7 suicide watch.
He's in bad enough psychological shape as it is as he slogs through a nasty case of adolescence. Pile the reality of his post-peak future on top of what he's already struggling with, and it might just finish him off.
Nope, not me. I'm not going to open the window shades and show him the future. He's already getting a vague idea of what's coming, and that's bad enough. He'll get the whole picture soon enough.
Besides, what the hell good would it do? There's nothing he can do about it. None of us have any idea of what to "prepare" for, so what possible good purpose could be served by feeding him information that can only make him more depressed?
PeakOil is You
"You won't."
Re: "You won't."
by Zardoz » Tue 03 Apr 2007, 17:32:42
"Thank you for attending the oil age. We're going to scrape what we can out of these tar pits in Alberta and then shut down the machines and turn out the lights. Goodnight." - seldom_seen
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Zardoz - Expert
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Re: "You won't."
by benzoil » Tue 03 Apr 2007, 17:34:41
$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('lateStarter', 'O')k. Help me out here. Trying to get the scorecard straightened out...
In one feature match we have 'Baldwin' vs 'TWilliam'. In the other we have the OP 'Pablo' and 'Concerned' vs 'Gideon' and 'Benzoil'.
When will 'Raphael' and 'Holmes' make a showing to clear things up? Stay tuned..
In one feature match we have 'Baldwin' vs 'TWilliam'. In the other we have the OP 'Pablo' and 'Concerned' vs 'Gideon' and 'Benzoil'.
When will 'Raphael' and 'Holmes' make a showing to clear things up? Stay tuned..
I think it was Concerned and Benzoil vs. Gideon, but the sentiment is right. I was thinking last night that I was surprised at the amount of vitriol a simple amusing (or not?) anecdote has generated. And just about all of it totally off topic. Poor Pablo. He had no idea what was coming.
TANSTAAFL
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benzoil - Coal
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Re: "You won't."
by Baldwin » Tue 03 Apr 2007, 18:21:10
$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('Zardoz', 'I')f I were to sit down and spell out exactly what the future holds for my sullen, depressed, negative, lazy, sour, unmotivated, self-centered 16-year-old, his mom and I would have to put him on a 24/7 suicide watch.
He's in bad enough psychological shape as it is as he slogs through a nasty case of adolescence. Pile the reality of his post-peak future on top of what he's already struggling with, and it might just finish him off.
Nope, not me. I'm not going to open the window shades and show him the future. He's already getting a vague idea of what's coming, and that's bad enough. He'll get the whole picture soon enough.
Besides, what the hell good would it do? There's nothing he can do about it. None of us have any idea of what to "prepare" for, so what possible good purpose could be served by feeding him information that can only make him more depressed?
He's in bad enough psychological shape as it is as he slogs through a nasty case of adolescence. Pile the reality of his post-peak future on top of what he's already struggling with, and it might just finish him off.
Nope, not me. I'm not going to open the window shades and show him the future. He's already getting a vague idea of what's coming, and that's bad enough. He'll get the whole picture soon enough.
Besides, what the hell good would it do? There's nothing he can do about it. None of us have any idea of what to "prepare" for, so what possible good purpose could be served by feeding him information that can only make him more depressed?
My life (I am 17) hasn't been a boatload of fun. My family is great, but most of my problems stem from the hogwash and beareaucracy known as the education system (mostly the mass produced moronic sheep rather than the watered down curriculum). I'll try and offer some insider's advice.
If you haven't already, you'll have to probe him with ALOT of tough questions.
Does he feel driven by any sort of meaning each day, or when he rolls out of bed for school, does he just wish that he can get through the day to go back to sleep? (Escapism with sleep...hopefully it is just sleep. Drugs, alcohol, and sex are far too available for teens). I myself feel that, but usually I will divert myself. I get a wonderful high from my bagpipes.
Is there anything he wants to see, anywhere he wants to go, anything he wants to do? It may be worth it to try and gratify it. Certain things like a trip or (in my case) a bagpipe were a major investment, but the dividends paid are worth it. Perhaps a job might be in order.
Are his friends also unmotivated and sulky? Friends can often unwork all a parent's most subtle and well-meant plans. It may be time for a change of friends.
Here's the real killer for a parent to ask a kid. Ask him if he feels loved. Most parents are afraid of the answer they might hear (and in many cases, it is not a heartfelt yes). Just because he is 16 and would be embarassed by mommy kissing him on the cheek in front of his friends, doesn't mean he wants a cold shoulder. Also, affection through gifts is known by psychology not to cut it. Hugs, kisses, and meaningful conversation and attention are the key.
It might help if I knew what problems associated with school as what you do for a kid with poor grades is different than that for trouble-makers, the bullied, the over-achievers (this can also lead to problems....from first hand personal experience) or of course a combination of the aforementioned.
I must admit, after knowing of peak oil, I have no idea what to do, since all my plans for life will amount to diddly squat. The only one with any promise of panning out in a post-peak world is the Catholic priesthood. (Yes, ridicule me with the sheeple tendencies of religion blah, blah) I also at one time considered medicine and chemistry, by becoming a doctor is largely overcoming sleep deprivation, then prostituting your perscription pad to whomever sponsors the most lavish conventions. And science is so dependent on oil-created technological wonders, will we even need chemists? They'll probably experience a windfall while society pursues a panacaea towards the end...but what after?
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Re: "You won't."
by Zardoz » Tue 03 Apr 2007, 20:04:06
$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('Baldwin', '.')..I'll try and offer some insider's advice...
Thanks for the input. It's much appreciated.
Our son's only real problem (other than his general demeanor and attitude) is his absolute disdain for school. He began blowing off homework in the second grade, and it's only gotten worse since then. Last fall he packed it in completely. He just won't do the assignments, and homework is out of the question. He's going into the building and sitting at a desk, but, in reality, he's dropped out. He's failing five out of seven classes.
This is his last semester. He won't be returning for his senior year. We'll start him working toward the Proficiency Exam, or the G.E.D. after he turns 18. Perhaps someday he'll wake up and realize he needs college, and start at a local community institution. We'll see.
He has zillions of good friends, and none of them are like him. One of his best buds is an honor student who also happens to be the Varsity starting quarterback. He's great with other kids, but around us, oh, my...
He knows we love him. That isn't it. He knows how concerned we are for him. He knows how much we worry about his safety and such. He's completely attached to us and the rest of his family.
He's interested in nothing right now but World of Warcraft and skateboarding, which he's getting to be very good at, by the way. He's down on everything else.
He resists all attempts to help him. He'll agree to nothing that we suggest.
We have no idea of what he's going to do with his life, and neither does he. He is completely directionless, and will be ill-equipped for The Real World. We're hoping that as time passes and he puts this horrendous adolescent phase behind him, enough new synapses will have connected to enable his brain to operate at some sort of functional level.
For now, his brain is out of commission. He's essentially mentally ill. We'll bide our time, and hope it passes. At the moment, that's all we can do.
"Thank you for attending the oil age. We're going to scrape what we can out of these tar pits in Alberta and then shut down the machines and turn out the lights. Goodnight." - seldom_seen
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Zardoz - Expert
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Re: "You won't."
by Baldwin » Tue 03 Apr 2007, 20:34:38
I have an uncle like that. He is essentially in a state of retarded adolescence. He chose to pursue acting as a career...well P.S. he is 37 and still extremely dependent on my grandparents, aged 74 and 75. He earns some cash, but like most teenagers, it is nothing near what he needs for sustenance.
Have you asked him why he doesn't do his homework? It sounds like something went out of whack beginning in second grade. Do you, your wife, or any trusted adults show a disdain for education? Did he have some pathetic excuse for a teacher at some point? Did he have trouble doing basic reading or math that caused him to give up on HIMSELF?
I mean, this isn't adding up. He comes from a loving home, he has good friends. I would expect this lacksidasical attitude from someone who had no home life to speak of, lost a parent, etc. He sounds depressed. Your admission that he is "essentially mentally ill", and that you'd be on "24/7 suicide watch" if you mention peak oil makes me seriously consider recommending psychiatric evaluation. I hate to bring up this possibility, but you'll be kicking yourself if something really goes wrong ie drug addiction, suicide etc.
Have you asked him why he doesn't do his homework? It sounds like something went out of whack beginning in second grade. Do you, your wife, or any trusted adults show a disdain for education? Did he have some pathetic excuse for a teacher at some point? Did he have trouble doing basic reading or math that caused him to give up on HIMSELF?
I mean, this isn't adding up. He comes from a loving home, he has good friends. I would expect this lacksidasical attitude from someone who had no home life to speak of, lost a parent, etc. He sounds depressed. Your admission that he is "essentially mentally ill", and that you'd be on "24/7 suicide watch" if you mention peak oil makes me seriously consider recommending psychiatric evaluation. I hate to bring up this possibility, but you'll be kicking yourself if something really goes wrong ie drug addiction, suicide etc.
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Baldwin - Coal
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Re: "You won't."
by Grifter » Tue 03 Apr 2007, 20:46:54
$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('Baldwin', 'I') mean, this isn't adding up. He comes from a loving home, he has good friends. I would expect this lacksidasical attitude from someone who had no home life to speak of, lost a parent, etc. He sounds depressed. Your admission that he is "essentially mentally ill", and that you'd be on "24/7 suicide watch" if you mention peak oil makes me seriously consider recommending psychiatric evaluation. I hate to bring up this possibility, but you'll be kicking yourself if something really goes wrong ie drug addiction, suicide etc.
Depressed peaople REALLY don't need non-depressed people panicing, worrying or in any way thinking about it. It's not just being miserable, its a way of thinking.
Seriously, I like the other stuff you talked about.
And Gideon too
He's such a big meany.
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Grifter - Tar Sands
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So sometimes people go through phases.
And he's 32 I believe.