by threadbear » Fri 23 Apr 2010, 13:52:25
Narz, I think acknowledging your problems and wanting to help your daughter avoid similar ones is so commendable. So many fathers think of themselves first, their wives girlfriends and children come in a poor second, third or somewhere down the bottom of the list of priorities. In spite of all you have been through, and are presently going through, you have obviously retained a sterling character. As long as you don't identify with your problems, can stand back, see your essential sanity, as you have done, and pat yourself on the back for what you have accomplished in spite of the problems you have been saddled with, you are way ahead of the game. And a cruel, arbitrary game it can be!
Six strings--I wasn't able to read what you wrote, as you deleted it, but I do get the gist from the boxed quotes. You've tried to be helpful, most likely, but are just a bit off the mark when it comes to trying to help with actual mental illnesses, that have a strong bio-chemical-neurological origin. I think what you have been describing is good old fashioned existential angst--that hole we are all trying to fill. I am going to start a separate thread for that particular problem and associated difficulties. You probably have a lot of advice, experience to offer, so hope to see you there!
Ludi,
It is annoying when a neurological problem is approached like a garden variety neurosis, or a character defect, both of which are more amenable to change, quicker fixes. If I were you I would feel as if someone with a skin rash, was giving me pointers to deal with with a metastasizing skin cancer. There are huge quantitative AND qualitative differences.
Existential angst may aggravate some mental illnesses, but it is far from being the cause and it can be terribly unfair to saddle someone with advice that is not really pertinent to them! I don't know how many times well meaning people have told me that my schizophrenic sister could be "loved" back into reality and happiness. One would never suggest to someone that loving someone with epilepsy would eliminate their seizures.
People often mean well, but operate from a position of ignorance, or project too much from their own personal experience.
I think the fact that you are so ill yourself, but still have your own sister uppermost in your mind speaks volumes for your character! I will say a prayer for your return to peace and contentment, if you don't mind.