[IgnoranceIsBliss]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('frankthetank', 'R')eally.. Shouldn't this guy be a millionaire? I mean a dentist? They easily have to make $100K+ a year... His house should have been paid off 25 years ago. The guy should be rolling in it.

Something to this story doesn't add up... A LOT OF MONEY HAS GONE SOMEWHERE...

Get him to sign a paper saying he'll pay you back. We just did it to my brother in law on an old junker we sold him.... Took a whole 2 minutes.

Judy likes stuff in writing.

[neocone]

Another theory I have is the guy needs to plead poverty somehow... kind of like your probability to get audited is small if you get on a payment plan with the IRS ("I am broke but I pay you little by little") vs. owing money and making them a fat check ("Mmmm plenty of more money to milk from this guy" would the IRS say).

I suspect rich or well off people will start saying they are broke and hide their wealth in gold in the desert somewhere... since now anyone decently well off who is not unemployed or foreclosed on is a target for the taxman, thieves... and begging relatives.

[Sixstrings]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('IgnoranceIsBliss', '')$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('frankthetank', 'R')eally.. Shouldn't this guy be a millionaire? I mean a dentist? They easily have to make $100K+ a year... His house should have been paid off 25 years ago. The guy should be rolling in it.

Something to this story doesn't add up... A LOT OF MONEY HAS GONE SOMEWHERE...

Get him to sign a paper saying he'll pay you back. We just did it to my brother in law on an old junker we sold him.... Took a whole 2 minutes.

Judy likes stuff in writing.

[Pretorian]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('IgnoranceIsBliss', '
')So I have agreed (like I had a ****ing choice) to "loan" him $5,000. I mentioned to my husband that many wives would not be so agreeable. His relpy was "Yeah, and those are f***ing bitches"

YIKES. YIKES. YIKES. That last remark did not sit well with me.

[RikkiTikkiTavi]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('IgnoranceIsBliss', '&')quot;he's my dad! I can't say no."

[FloridaGirl]

When I first started reading your post, I was thinking "no, don't do it because you can't afford it". Then when I got to the part about FIL giving your husband $5000 for a house, I thought, "He was there for your husband when he needed it". Also he is going back to work so he is trying to turn things around.

I would explain to him my financial limitations and give him (not loan) a smaller amount like $500 or $1000. Relationships are more important than money so point out that although you could use it back, you don't expect it to be paid back because he helped your husband out.

On the other hand, if he was doing something self-destructive like drugs and gambling, then absolutely not.

My husband once loaned an old friend $200 because was on a business trip and said he had no money for food. My husband didn't expect the money back. He has never heard from the friend again. My husband was disappointed because he valued the friendship more than the $200.

A number of times my Mother has asked for money and I would give it her. Occasionally she pays me back. Sometimes I would send her extra and tell her to keep it as cash for an emergency (I'm thinking for world financial collapse). Another time I sent her the money plus some extra with the condition that she stock up on extra food with the extra money.

I do this because she was always there for me when I needed money (not to mention raising me as a single Mom). Also she is doing the best she can since she is still working in her 70's, buys clothes on consignment and drives a very old vehicle.

But it seems your husband insists on loaning FIL the full amount. If he's that set on it and you can't talk him into reducing it. then you need to accept it and get over the anger. Your relationship with your husband comes first. Think of it as repaying the $5000 for the house and that should make it easier. Be sure FIL understands what a sacrifice it is or he may be counting on coming back for more.

[threadbear]

Ignorance, Hon...He loaned/gave you money for the down payment on your house. That should count for something. As annoying as it is, I think I'm with your husband on this one. Your FIL is totally embarrassed and doesn't want to involve your husband's sisters, as he wants to maintain his image with them. I get the sense that if you give a little on this one, but firmly let it be known that it can't happen again, you will be rewarded in ways you may not be able to imagine right now.

[jdmartin]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('RonMN', 'L')et me tell you a little story. About 6 months ago one of my friends asked me if I would take his dog, he couldn't afford him any more. I know this guy enjoys a vacation or 2 to some place warm every year. I said to him "have you crunched the numbers on skipping the annual vacation in order to keep your dog?".

He became almost livid & said he would NEVER give up his vacation...I said "well, when your basking in the sunshine & watching the bikinis...tell y'rself...this vacation is what has cost my dog his life".

[Pretorian]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('frankthetank', 'R')eally.. Shouldn't this guy be a millionaire? I mean a dentist? They easily have to make $100K+ a year... His house should have been paid off 25 years ago. The guy should be rolling in it.

Something to this story doesn't add up... A LOT OF MONEY HAS GONE SOMEWHERE...

[threadbear]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('RonMN', 'T')his will continue to happen as the economy worsens. Family & friends will keep asking for money/food/etc. You may want to broach this subject with hubby.

I have now been unemployed for almost a year. I've had 4 people ask me if I would take their dogs, several ask me for loans & even 1 friend ask me if I would raise 1 of his children They all know I'm unemployed & they don't care...They only care about THEIR problems.

Let me tell you a little story. About 6 months ago one of my friends asked me if I would take his dog, he couldn't afford him any more. I know this guy enjoys a vacation or 2 to some place warm every year. I said to him "have you crunched the numbers on skipping the annual vacation in order to keep your dog?".

He became almost livid & said he would NEVER give up his vacation...I said "well, when your basking in the sunshine & watching the bikinis...tell y'rself...this vacation is what has cost my dog his life".

What he's doing (in a round-about way) is asking me to pay for his F***ing vacation!

[thylacine]

What about giving him the money in return for 3 years of free dental checks for you and yours. I don't know what a trip to the dentist costs in the US, but a twice yearly trip to the dentist for a family of four to get a check-up and tooth polish would set you back about $5K where I live. He's got a useful and expensive skill, why not make use of it as a trade off for bailing him out of his woeful financial mess. It may also make your father in law feel like less of a leech, if he is giving something in return for the cash.

I do feel that there must be more to this story. Along with many others, I'm amazed that a dentist who has worked for 30+ years still has a mortgage and debts. The last dentist I met was in his 40s, lived in a million dollar house, sent his 7 kids to private school, holidayed overseas and his wife drove a Porsche SUV.

[TWilliam]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('Pretorian', '')$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('frankthetank', 'R')eally.. Shouldn't this guy be a millionaire? I mean a dentist? They easily have to make $100K+ a year... His house should have been paid off 25 years ago. The guy should be rolling in it.

Something to this story doesn't add up... A LOT OF MONEY HAS GONE SOMEWHERE...

[TWilliam]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('thylacine', 'T')he last dentist I met was in his 40s, lived in a million dollar house, sent his 7 kids to private school, holidayed overseas and his wife drove a Porsche SUV.

[ThorWasaDog]

Jesus Christ, what is this world coming to? Parents asking children for money is bad enough. When the guy is a dentist, it's despicable.
Thor's basic advice regarding this type of thing . . . tell them to go to a bank if they want a loan. Simple as that. If a bank won't loan them the money, then what more proof do you need that they can't afford the loan for which they are asking?
Giving this deadbeat money is the equivalent of giving a drink to an alcoholic - it does nothing but feed the problem.
The man's problem is that he can't manage money. The solution to that problem may be many things, but it is most definitely NOT giving the man more money to manage.
Sorry that your husband is such an idiot, BTW.

[ThorWasaDog]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('threadbear', 'I')gnorance, Hon...He loaned/gave you money for the down payment on your house. That should count for something. As annoying as it is, I think I'm with your husband on this one. Your FIL is totally embarrassed and doesn't want to involve your husband's sisters, as he wants to maintain his image with them. I get the sense that if you give a little on this one, but firmly let it be known that it can't happen again, you will be rewarded in ways you may not be able to imagine right now.

[JJ]

there's an older guy who comes into the produce department where I work. I've seen him around for ten years, loaned him a car once when his was broken. He's got a bunch of kids with kids, all but one are on welfare, disability, etc. Lately (the last year) he's been asking me if he could "borrow 20 until he gets his check". It'll add up, and after a while he pays me back. He borrowed another twenty from me awhile back, but this time he's been dodging me. I expect a whole lot more of this in the near future...(ps it really, really pisses my wife off.....)

[AlexdeLarge]

If, as some of you believe, a dentist practice is all that lucrative.............he would no problem paying you back with interest. Or have him incorporate and take a % ownership in the business. (Of couse some liability comes with ownership)

I still don't see why he can't find a 5K limit credit card. It may have a 18% interest rate, but if his business has any cash flow he should be able to service the debt.

[Ferretlover]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('IgnoranceIsBliss', '[') We just had a long conversation about it. Husband agreed that if FIL doesn't pay the money back, he will sell his stuff to make us whole again. (we have a living room full of drums and stuff that I would love to see gone, but not this way!) So I guess it will be ok for now.

[IgnoranceIsBliss]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('Ferretlover', '')$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('IgnoranceIsBliss', '[') We just had a long conversation about it. Husband agreed that if FIL doesn't pay the money back, he will sell his stuff to make us whole again. (we have a living room full of drums and stuff that I would love to see gone, but not this way!) So I guess it will be ok for now.

[IgnoranceIsBliss]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('AlexdeLarge', 'I')f, as some of you believe, a dentist practice is all that lucrative.............he would no problem paying you back with interest. Or have him incorporate and take a % ownership in the business. (Of couse some liability comes with ownership)

I still don't see why he can't find a 5K limit credit card. It may have a 18% interest rate, but if his business has any cash flow he should be able to service the debt.