[IgnoranceIsBliss]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('Pretorian', '')$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('frankthetank', 'R')eally. Shouldn't this guy be a millionaire? I mean a dentist? They easily have to make $100K+ a year... His house should have been paid off 25 years ago. The guy should be rolling in it. Something to this story doesn't add up. A LOT OF MONEY HAS GONE SOMEWHERE.

[IgnoranceIsBliss]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('ThorWasaDog', '')$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('threadbear', 'I')gnorance, Hon. He loaned/gave you money for the down payment on your house. That should count for something. As annoying as it is, I think I'm with your husband on this one. Your FIL is totally embarrassed and doesn't want to involve your husband's sisters, as he wants to maintain his image with them. I get the sense that if you give a little on this one, but firmly let it be known that it can't happen again, you will be rewarded in ways you may not be able to imagine right now.

[AlexdeLarge]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('IgnoranceIsBliss', '')$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('AlexdeLarge', 'I')f, as some of you believe, a dentist practice is all that lucrative....he would no problem paying you back with interest. Or have him incorporate and take a % ownership in the business. (Of couse some liability comes with ownership)
I still don't see why he can't find a 5K limit credit card. It may have a 18% interest rate, but if his business has any cash flow he should be able to service the debt.

[pup55]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('', 'I')'m mad that he put me in such a position as to have to mess up my relationship with my husband

[AlexdeLarge]

Get your husband to call into the Dave Ramsey show and let Dave settle the dispute. ( He does have a good radio show that airs everyday.) He deals with this type of issues all the time.

Dave Ramsey Website
http://www.daveramsey.com/?ictid=glpdr

[Ferretlover]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('IgnoranceIsBliss', 'N')o, the property I mentioned is my husband's stuff here at our house.

[vision-master]

Just give him the money and move on.

[IgnoranceIsBliss]

I just remembered that FIL was involved in one of those multi-level marketing schemes awhile ago. He was buying health products and convinced my husband to get in on it. Finally, I convinced my husband that we were not making any money on the plan and he cancelled it. That was around the same time I pointed out to my husband that SunTrust was charging him $12 a month for a checking account. He said he didn't want to "ruin my relationship" with them. No business sense at all...

These two men are so gullible and that's scary. My husband is not even convinced that these are indeed bill collectors calling here looking for his dad. (ok so who are they? Geez)

A few years ago, we had debt collectors calling looking for his sister!

Let's hope it gets paid back to us come Sept/ October and I can put this mess behind me.

[Jotapay]

If you can't do it, then you can't do it. If you can do it, then you should be prepared to give him $5K. Loans like this often don't get paid back.

[ki11ercane]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('IgnoranceIsBliss', 'S')o I have agreed (like I had a ****ing choice) to "loan" him $5,000. I mentioned to my husband that many wives would not be so agreeable. His relpy was "Yeah, and those are f***ing bitches"
YIKES. YIKES. YIKES. That last remark did not sit well with me.

[ki11ercane]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('IgnoranceIsBliss', '')$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('Ferretlover', 'F')rank is right. And, maybe one or more of the lawyers here at PO.com will chime in: Without an instrument IN WRITING, you and your husband don't have a proverbial leg to stand on. You will have no standing, indeed, I believe that in many states, your f-i-l could sue you and your husband (hhhmmm.. then, he wouldn't need to borrow anything fromyou, would he?) if you attempted to dispose of his property. Give his drums, etc., back to him and tell him to sell them.

[hardtootell-2]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('ki11ercane', '')$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('IgnoranceIsBliss', 'S')o I have agreed (like I had a ****ing choice) to "loan" him $5,000. I mentioned to my husband that many wives would not be so agreeable. His relpy was "Yeah, and those are f***ing bitches"
YIKES. YIKES. YIKES. That last remark did not sit well with me.

[blukatzen]

I have a question for you. What if YOU took the money in the nest egg (5K) and gave it back to your parents in trust that you could get it again...at a later date? First of all..what would your husband say about you *giving* back the money your parents gifted you with anyways? (and he has *no* say-so in the matter?)

Now, isn't THIS situation that you are in now, similar to that supposed situation..where YOU have no "say-so" in the matter? (although you at least have a "head's up" to DO something about that.)

And what would your parents say if they knew about where their gift money...to be used for YOUR benefit(or your children's benefit, NOT your in-laws) was being used? (I am sure they'd blow a gasket!!) These are ALL the fallout and repercussions that have to be dealt with in the future...but you're setting up that future right now.

Think about this. Really hard.

Blu

[turner]

As a former accountant I smell a big fat rat here and a lot more needs to be explored before you lend the money. I know this will be difficult but you need to get FIL to lay cards on the table and do a complete assessment of where he and MIL are financially. If you don't have the financial skills (or need an independant) you would be well advised to spend some of the $5k getting a bookkeeper (cheaper) or accountant (maybe unemployed one that would be happy for some cash) to look at their assets and business proposal and come up with an assessment of the best way forward. I'm concerned you will be throwing good money after bad and that ultimately they will come back for more, or worse, will need to move in with you.

People do some crazy stuff when they have money issues and their perceived solutions often get them into a much worse position than they would have been if they had faced up and took stock. To give an example, my brother was always wanting to borrow money and finally I said no more unless you let me take a look at your finances. Six years ago he couldn't pay his tax bill so he just didn't bother ever lodging another return. The debts were mounting and there was interest and penalties to pay so then he started gambling making the whole thing worse. He was always looking for a get rich scheme (your FIL has already done this) and ultimately wasting money on a fast track to nowhere. So I completed and lodged his tax returns, negotiated with the tax dept to pay off the debt in instalments and explained to him what he needed to do in terms of a budget to make that happen. He now has 6 mths to go and will be debt free and in a good position. BTW, in the end he didn't need a cent from me and we are enjoying the best relationship we've ever had.

[vision-master]

I'm real nice when getting money, but very ugly when I have to pay out.

[IgnoranceIsBliss]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('turner', 'A')s a former accountant I smell a big fat rat here and a lot more needs to be explored before you lend the money. I know this will be difficult but you need to get FIL to lay cards on the table and do a complete assessment of where he and MIL are financially. --snip-- He now has 6 mths to go and will be debt free and in a good position. BTW, in the end he didn't need a cent from me and we are enjoying the best relationship we've ever had.

[Jotapay]

After reading what you just wrote, there is absolutely no way I would have loaned them the $5K. Never. I wouldn't have anything to do with them as they are completely untrustworthy. I do not let people like that into my life at all, I don't care if they were my parent or not. If someone like that was my parent, I'd keep them at arm's length so they didn't ruin my life along with theirs.

[blukatzen]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('IgnoranceIsBliss', 'M')y husband refuses to get involved in his dad's finances (other than to lend him this money!). It's all hush hush.

[turner]

Oh god, the more you tell me, the more concerned I become. I understand absolutely that you want to help, but my advice is to walk away. If you had heaps of cash - ok, but you don't ,so you have to put YOUR CHILDREN FIRST. FIL has had his life and made his choices, your kids haven't and they are relying on YOU to provide the basics.
People need to keep things secret for a reason - wonder what that reason is in this case???

[TWilliam]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('blukatzen', '&')quot;Hush Hush" is your problem in a nutshell. This goes beyond the 5K that you will lose. It's *YOUR* parent's money that will be lost, too; as they gifted you that money for your/your children's use. All because of "hush hush". --snip--
You need to stick up for yourself. I think there's a lot of bitterness down the line for you and hubby if you don't see all the ramifications of this.