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Best countries for buying a wife

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Re: Best countries for buying a wife

Unread postby Heineken » Thu 05 Feb 2009, 23:38:37

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('SeaGypsy', 'H')i Heineken;
I don't like the title either; but I can give you some advice.
I live in the Philippines with my wife, who is 20 years younger than me, multi lingual, college educated, fantastic around the home and extremely jealous.
The truth is that you can come to Asia and almost take your choice.
The Philippines is easiest because of the visa laws and the fact all beurocracy is done in English.
Being a fit 52 year old and never married puts you in the highly sought after category of foreign husband.
On the other hand a lot of guys here go the library rout; (Why buy a book?).
You are right that we middle aged guys are virtual non entities in western countries. Unles we are super rich, and even then we know we can't trust much of what goes on around us.
Taking a wife into the states has become much more dificult lately with waits of up to 2 years normal; I have one friend who is still waiting after 4. The quickest way is to bring her in on a 'Prospective Marriage' visa, marry in the USA then apply for permanent. This can take about 4 months.
Meeting girls online: 80% are sharks; 18% are idiots. The other 2% are mostly ugly. Don't use any chat function without a camera.
Live webcam rules.


Hi Sea Gypsy. Welcome to our wunnerful website.

Did you move to the Philippines specifically for this reason?

Sometimes I've considered emigrating, and that would be one purpose, among others. I could really leave my past behind that way, and start a new, if possibly dangerous, life. What the hell, I don't have all that many years left anyway.

Another member has warned me about overseas wives, though. He had a very bad experience and was "used." In his case, though, he brought her back to the US and that was her real goal, to get here with a Green Card and spend as much of her poor husband's money as she could.
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Re: Best countries for buying a wife

Unread postby Heineken » Thu 05 Feb 2009, 23:41:01

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('threadbear', 'Y')ou have to meet a woman who has been in a gay relationship who would like to try hetero. It can't be that difficult. You just have to define your demographic, cast your net and hope you don't catch a chick with a moustache and tatoos :lol:


That's an intriguing suggestion, T-bear. Just put the dirty fact right up there on the ad, front and center.

I might get a lot of abusive e-mail, though.

One of the difficulties, too, is that the pickings are rather thin around here due to my location. I'm already dealing with a smallish population of available women within reasonable driving distance.
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Re: Best countries for buying a wife

Unread postby Tanada » Fri 06 Feb 2009, 00:08:43

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('PenultimateManStanding', '')$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('da23', '
')PMS I'd buy you if I could get credit
I don't do windows. You can put your own damn TV dinner in the microwave oven & I've got a perpetual headache. You're going to have to vacuum the floor, scrub the toilet and buy me whatever I want or I'll take you to the cleaner for half and more of whatever pathetic little sum of worth you've got. I get the goldmine, you get the shaft.


When did you meet my ex wife PMS and how long have you known her?
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To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.
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Re: Best countries for buying a wife

Unread postby blukatzen » Fri 06 Feb 2009, 00:13:05

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('outcast', 'A')nd generally traditional monotheistic societies were extremely intolerant towards any form of homosexuality. I should have been more clear about that, but since we are referring to rural America this is the kind of society that is relevant.

Yeah, lots of tolerance in those traditional, non-industrialized countries. :roll:


Ah, now we're changing the terminology somewhat. You are now speaking of MONOTHEISTIC culture, which is *not* really "traditional" because a lot has been changed to fit into whatever monotheistic traditions have overtaken tribal cultural norms.
For instance, even now, in Africa, tribal chieftans that are by nature more inclined towards male partners in a relationship, will be forced by their culture to marry/mate with a woman/women to produce heirs, because that is what they are supposed to do. Once they have done that, the woman/women are free to do what they will within the marriage culture will allow, and the man will co-habit with the preferred male partner, in a relationship that is not frowned upon.

In the article that I directed you towards, you LEFT OUT a LOT of information (I wanted to see what you'd do, and of course took the easy way out.) At that place, and several other places on wikipedia (google greek and roman views on homosexuality) it was basically viewed that a man who was "the bottom" was one who was not capable of making decisions, where the "top" was one who was the one running the situation.
In Greco-Roman society (esp. Greek) "Pederasty" was the term used for an older man who had a younger man he was in a relationship with, in a way, "grooming him" for adulthood and responsibility. It was viewed in ancient Greek culture as normal, unless the man did not fulfill his situation where he was married, and fulfilled his responsibility as a husband and father, and one who would take care of household, aged parents, etc.
What he did on the "side" was nobody else's business.

HOWEVER...it was shameful to be "used" in a relationship if one were a conquered person. Many times, men were raped as well as women in a conquered village, and were shamed by further castration,etc. before being sold into slavery. This was something that was COMMON in the ancient pre-conversion Europe.
The Viking article that I quoted from considered a man who was a bottom as one who was in no position to "act for himself" and make his own decisions, therefore, he was not, (or his opinion) was not valued in society.

However (and this is another seperation) SHAMANS were also viewed as having a somewhat dubious character because some of them *did* cross-dress and live in an "inside-out" situation. In the lore of Northern Europe, Odin is castigated as wearing a Woman's frock when he is learning some of the arts of magic from Freya.
I wouldn't say that this is "wide-spread", but this is not an unknown phenomenon either.

The possibility of homosexuality was not an unknown in the early Christian church either. There was a rite, noted by historian John Boswell, of the rite of Adelphopoiesis, or "brother-making'. Whether they were in a relationship of mind or mind and body, so to speak, could be up for conjecture. It was sanctioned by the early Greek Orthodox church and spread for a bit into the Orthodox Slavic church.
Whether it was a continuation of one form of ancient pederasty, already accepted in the Greek Culture since ancient times, I cannot say for sure, but it could be said that it could be the reason why it was accepted there, where it was not accepted anywhere else.

Of course, when the Monotheistic view is overlaid upon an ancient, pre-conversion view, we'd be talking of apples and oranges.

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('', 'E')DIT: And I'd also like to add that homosexual activity was illegal in the US until, starting in the '70's the laws against it started getting repealed.


Homosexuality was never truly successfully banned anywhere on earth, and I doubt it ever truly will be. What laws are made or repealed over the course of ages has no bearing on the activity made, many times, by the very same folks that legislate against it, or who rail on against this activity over the pulpit.
We have seen those who have one set of values on the surface, and then again, once "found out", have to own up to another set altogether.

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Re: Best countries for buying a wife

Unread postby blukatzen » Fri 06 Feb 2009, 00:31:37

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('outcast', 'Y')eah, lots of tolerance in those traditional, non-industrialized countries. :roll:


I'd also follow up, if I may, with the ongoing pederasty within Muslim Afghanistan with the Tribal lords which hasn't been challenged until the Talibin challenged this "custom".

Also, there is the growing tolerance in the US towards the Islamic custom of child brides, or those who may be promised to much older men, many times to settle debts, etc. (even though this is not about "homosexuality" per se, it is about what you would probably relate as sex outside Western Societal norms, Industrialized countries' customs.)

I'd also say that there was a fair amount of "tolerance" where the action of pederasty has been involved in many Christian sects, not *just*, but most prominantly, in the Roman Catholic Church, but prevalent in many Christian churches.

I'd also say, there is a problem in the Ultra Orthodox Jewish community, where there is a real problem with Pedophilia, there must have been a good 22,000+ articles on a quick google search I just did.

So, we can dialogue about these issues, but I did bring them up to illustrate a "point-counterpoint" about what you consider "tolerance" and "traditional". In my opinion, I am not one for "say one thing and do another".
I do not believe religion or it's laws/dogma have conquered cultural paradigms about sex and behavior.

These acts, as I have mentioned, are taking place today.

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Re: Best countries for buying a wife

Unread postby threadbear » Fri 06 Feb 2009, 00:32:50

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('Heineken', '
')
I might get a lot of abusive e-mail, though.



Which is okay if you're through with sadism, and want to practice masochism now. You could just say that you're through the bi-curious phase and definitely through the abuse-curious phase, to discourage nasty emails :)
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Re: Best countries for buying a wife

Unread postby blukatzen » Fri 06 Feb 2009, 00:46:45

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('threadbear', 'Y')ou have to meet a woman who has been in a gay relationship who would like to try hetero. It can't be that difficult. You just have to define your demographic, cast your net and hope you don't catch a chick with a moustache and tatoos :lol:


There are those who are bi-sexual just as yourself, and that may be the demographic that you might have some success with. There are many woman who may want to "settle down' in later years with a man....or a man AND a woman!

Heineken, my friend, how open are you to a situation I've mentioned above?

There are many types of relationships out there. You may be a person who can understand various types.

I'd look at a movie, called "The Dutchess" that just came out this past Autumn, about roles, marriage, and expectations in society. (does not deal with homosexuality, but about more partners in a marriage than just.....2...for instance.) Although in real life, there was some conjecture that Georgiana, Dutchess of Devonshire, and Lady Elizabeth Foster, had a relationship. This was not explored in the movie, however.

As an aside from *just* the topic of homosexuality in a marriage, how do you see marriage in the future, in a tribal-style situation, as open, or with the ability to be open? With several partners to be in a communal marriage situaition? (known as Polyamory)

*This topic* the the real can of worms.

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Re: Best countries for buying a wife

Unread postby uNkNowN ElEmEnt » Fri 06 Feb 2009, 03:29:17

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('Heineken', 'S')ince there's been so much concern about diction, I'd like to explain some of the motivation behind my "buying a wife" phrase.

In women's eyes, I'm badly tarnished by my past gay relationship. Partly as an experiment, I've already disclosed the fact of that relationship to a number of traditional American women met through the two online dating sites I'm currently subscribing to, and with whom I was in the process of establishing a good rapport before said disclosure.

Their reaction: A kind of indignant rage. Insults. Wild fears. One accused me of plotting to rape her son.

Thus I'm beginning to conclude that only nontraditional routes remain open to me.

Either that or I'll just give up.


So what does a "non-traditional" relationship have to do with the utter disrespect of "buying a wife". That is my question boiled right down. Whether you need a different kind of relationship is totally different from expecting any women (whether from here or somewhere else) to put up with the blatant disrespect that phrasology implies.

So my second point is, perhaps it has more to do with your disrespect, or view of women as things, than anything else in your arguement or proposal to a prospective woman.

Or maybe like so many of the other guys out there, you should put your "issues" on the back burner, make nicey-nice and get to know a woman as a friend (with a view of potiential mates in the back of your mind). It is far more likely that a woman will overlook your past if she knows "you", but bear in mind you actually have to take the time and make the effort to get outside your self absorption to get to know someone else. (sorry to be harsh, but its the best way to explain what I am getting at.)

Seriously, maybe if you cared about a women for more than fulfilling your own selfish needs, you'd attract a couple good ones. That probably has more to do with the running and the screaming.
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Re: Best countries for buying a wife

Unread postby outcast » Fri 06 Feb 2009, 09:55:59

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('', '
')*pedophilia stuff*



I think that's a seperate issue from what we were discussing.


$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('', 'A')h, now we're changing the terminology somewhat. You are now speaking of MONOTHEISTIC culture, which is *not* really "traditional" because a lot has been changed to fit into whatever monotheistic traditions have overtaken tribal cultural norms.



For us traditional DOES mean monotheistic, since it wiped out classical culture more than 1,000 years ago. Traditionally we are a monotheistic society because we have known nothing else for many many centuries. If we somehow were to turn the clock back, it wouldn't be to greek or roman times. Instead it would be more like the 18th century. Of course homosexuality wasn't totally eliminated but it was heavily suppressed with stiff penalties for offenders.
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Re: Best countries for buying a wife

Unread postby Heineken » Fri 06 Feb 2009, 10:48:48

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('outcast', '')$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('', '
')*pedophilia stuff*



I think that's a seperate issue from what we were discussing.


I'm glad you acknowledge that, Outcast. It's a truly revolting hate-myth that gays are automatically into little boys.

One could just as easily claim that hetero men are into little girls.
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Re: Best countries for buying a wife

Unread postby Heineken » Fri 06 Feb 2009, 10:51:59

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('uNkNowN ElEmEnt', '')$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('Heineken', 'S')ince there's been so much concern about diction, I'd like to explain some of the motivation behind my "buying a wife" phrase.

In women's eyes, I'm badly tarnished by my past gay relationship. Partly as an experiment, I've already disclosed the fact of that relationship to a number of traditional American women met through the two online dating sites I'm currently subscribing to, and with whom I was in the process of establishing a good rapport before said disclosure.

Their reaction: A kind of indignant rage. Insults. Wild fears. One accused me of plotting to rape her son.

Thus I'm beginning to conclude that only nontraditional routes remain open to me.

Either that or I'll just give up.


So what does a "non-traditional" relationship have to do with the utter disrespect of "buying a wife". That is my question boiled right down. Whether you need a different kind of relationship is totally different from expecting any women (whether from here or somewhere else) to put up with the blatant disrespect that phrasology implies.

So my second point is, perhaps it has more to do with your disrespect, or view of women as things, than anything else in your arguement or proposal to a prospective woman.

Or maybe like so many of the other guys out there, you should put your "issues" on the back burner, make nicey-nice and get to know a woman as a friend (with a view of potiential mates in the back of your mind). It is far more likely that a woman will overlook your past if she knows "you", but bear in mind you actually have to take the time and make the effort to get outside your self absorption to get to know someone else. (sorry to be harsh, but its the best way to explain what I am getting at.)

Seriously, maybe if you cared about a women for more than fulfilling your own selfish needs, you'd attract a couple good ones. That probably has more to do with the running and the screaming.


I think you're too hung up on playfully intended terminology, Element.

Actions speak louder than words, and you've never witnessed a single action by me.

"Selfish"? Do you know me well enough to know that I am that? You've never even met me.
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Re: Best countries for buying a wife

Unread postby Olaf » Fri 06 Feb 2009, 11:20:56

Heineken,

Only knowing you from what you post here, it seems clear to me that you carry some emotional scars. Additionally, you are coming out of a long term gay relationship (please know that I attach no stigma to that, I have gay friends though that have had seriously traumatic experiences in their lives directly related to their sexuality), you've considered relocating, have recentlly had to handle the transition of your father into a nursing home, have a rough relationship with your elderly mother, and admittedly have 'issues' with women while you are actively looking into establishing an immediate longterm relationship with one.

Dude. If I may say, consider some counseling. You sound lonely, desperate, depressed, and totally unsettled with what to do with yourself. I know that from what I read you sound like a good person that has a past you need to work through before you can stabilize your future.

I wish you the best.

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Re: Best countries for buying a wife

Unread postby blukatzen » Fri 06 Feb 2009, 17:49:16

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('', 'I') think that's a seperate issue from what we were discussing.


First of all, I was talking about a LOT More than just 'pedophilia' stuff, as I wanted to rebut some of your queries and issues. If you want to cherry pick and only retort to *some* or a small amount of the issues, it makes the conversation less interesting, and really, I have less time right now to be spending on these types of arguments.

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('', 'F')or us traditional DOES mean monotheistic, since it wiped out classical culture more than 1,000 years ago. Traditionally we are a monotheistic society because we have known nothing else for many many centuries.


I don't look at culture as "black and white" I see where there were many types of cultural habits that adapted themselves to a Monotheistic overlay. There are folk culture, folk medicine, etc. that still carry the "classical culture" that you speak about.


$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('', 'I')f we somehow were to turn the clock back, it wouldn't be to greek or roman times. Instead it would be more like the 18th century.

It may be, we'll have to see, only the future will tell. However, the idea that there will be "people in charge" whether they are warlords, complete with harems, or other "pleasure toys", or people in charge that just solicite prostitutes, will wait to be seen.
Prostitution, rape, pederasty, and human trafficking/slavery have travelled with us through the ages, in each age.


$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('', 'O')f course homosexuality wasn't totally eliminated but it was heavily suppressed with stiff penalties for offenders.


Did the activity stop? No, not for those inclined, they just found ways around it. Same for anyone doing anything deemed "illicit", like drugs, etc.

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Re: Best countries for buying a wife

Unread postby JJ » Fri 06 Feb 2009, 20:31:59

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('Heineken', '')$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('SeaGypsy', 'H')i Heineken;
I don't like the title either; but I can give you some advice.
I live in the Philippines with my wife, who is 20 years younger than me, multi lingual, college educated, fantastic around the home and extremely jealous.
The truth is that you can come to Asia and almost take your choice.
The Philippines is easiest because of the visa laws and the fact all beurocracy is done in English.
Being a fit 52 year old and never married puts you in the highly sought after category of foreign husband.
On the other hand a lot of guys here go the library rout; (Why buy a book?).
You are right that we middle aged guys are virtual non entities in western countries. Unles we are super rich, and even then we know we can't trust much of what goes on around us.
Taking a wife into the states has become much more dificult lately with waits of up to 2 years normal; I have one friend who is still waiting after 4. The quickest way is to bring her in on a 'Prospective Marriage' visa, marry in the USA then apply for permanent. This can take about 4 months.
Meeting girls online: 80% are sharks; 18% are idiots. The other 2% are mostly ugly. Don't use any chat function without a camera.
Live webcam rules.


Hi Sea Gypsy. Welcome to our wunnerful website.

Did you move to the Philippines specifically for this reason?

Sometimes I've considered emigrating, and that would be one purpose, among others. I could really leave my past behind that way, and start a new, if possibly dangerous, life. What the hell, I don't have all that many years left anyway.

Another member has warned me about overseas wives, though. He had a very bad experience and was "used." In his case, though, he brought her back to the US and that was her real goal, to get here with a Green Card and spend as much of her poor husband's money as she could.


Hi seagypsy, welcome! You know what they say, once you try caucasian its right back to asian! :)
anyway my wife is filipina and we bought some land in Mindanao, in Zamboanga del Sur. Where are you? I'd like to point out to the people that think foreigners only want to come here in order to get a green card, not all people from other countries look at coming to the United States as a good thing. I know the professional filipinas at our local hospital here are returning home because they don't want to be in the US anymore; they can read the writing on the wall. Also, the only reason my wife is here is because of me, she thinks the US is SAD (her word).
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Re: Best countries for buying a wife

Unread postby Heineken » Fri 06 Feb 2009, 22:49:43

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('Olaf', 'H')eineken,

Only knowing you from what you post here, it seems clear to me that you carry some emotional scars. Additionally, you are coming out of a long term gay relationship (please know that I attach no stigma to that, I have gay friends though that have had seriously traumatic experiences in their lives directly related to their sexuality), you've considered relocating, have recentlly had to handle the transition of your father into a nursing home, have a rough relationship with your elderly mother, and admittedly have 'issues' with women while you are actively looking into establishing an immediate longterm relationship with one.

Dude. If I may say, consider some counseling. You sound lonely, desperate, depressed, and totally unsettled with what to do with yourself. I know that from what I read you sound like a good person that has a past you need to work through before you can stabilize your future.

I wish you the best.

Olafr


That's not a bad summary, Olaf. Kindly rendered, too.

I've reached a dangerous impasse in my life. Either I'll survive it or I won't. Lately I'm thinking I won't, and this realization is pulling me further down.

I do not believe in counseling. I had my share of it when I was much younger, and it did nothing for me.

I believe in solving one's own problems directly, and quite forcefully if necessary.

I was drifting along too long in that long relationship, trying to evade the music that had to come. Now I'm facing it. It hurts like hell but at least I'm facing it. Come what may.
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Re: Best countries for buying a wife

Unread postby Heineken » Fri 06 Feb 2009, 23:01:38

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('blukatzen', '')$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('threadbear', 'Y')ou have to meet a woman who has been in a gay relationship who would like to try hetero. It can't be that difficult. You just have to define your demographic, cast your net and hope you don't catch a chick with a moustache and tatoos :lol:


There are those who are bi-sexual just as yourself, and that may be the demographic that you might have some success with. There are many woman who may want to "settle down' in later years with a man....or a man AND a woman!

Heineken, my friend, how open are you to a situation I've mentioned above?

There are many types of relationships out there. You may be a person who can understand various types.



Sorry Blu, I didn't notice this post of yours until today.

I'm more conservative than I may come off as, at least when it comes to relationships.

I don't think I would want to be involved with a man and a woman at the same time. Triangles like that are inherently complex and unstable. To me relationships like that are the stuff of fantasy. Perhaps they exist, who knows. Finding one that worked would be just about impossible, even if I were so inclined.

I'm more of an all-or-none type. Either I'll find a heterosexual relationship or I'll revert to my fall-back role as the active partner in a gay one or I'll morph into a hermit living with several dogs. I'm not sure I can make the psychological adjustment to the latter, since I have a need for a person in my life, a need that would have to be crushed. So far my basic reaction to being suddenly alone after ten years is a desire, not too far under the surface, to blow my brains out.

The central problem is getting women to accept my past, or figuring out how to cover it up and leave it behind. I may not be able to overcome this problem.

Are there bisexual dating sites? Maybe, but how many people advertising on them live within even 75 miles of me? Maybe one or two, and they might not appeal to me anyway.

This whole thing is such a mess. Maybe Aaron was right. Just don't try.
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Re: Best countries for buying a wife

Unread postby Ludi » Fri 06 Feb 2009, 23:16:49

There are bisexual dating sites, just google "bisexual dating sites." It looks like some are for serious romantic relationships, not just hooking up or "bi-curious."

It might be worth a try to see if there are some folks in your area.
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Re: Best countries for buying a wife

Unread postby PenultimateManStanding » Sat 07 Feb 2009, 00:01:27

Good luck and I hope things turn out well for you Heineken. If worst comes to worst you could just become an alcoholic! :) Just kidding, hang in there, buddy. As for the bisexual scene, I think it relates to that split into two distinct brain centers of sexuality. One is geared to long-term relationships and another completely distinct part is geared to one night stands. No kidding, researchers have identified them. Don't ask me how. The bisexual threesome scene is most certainly geared to the brief encounters part of the brain and not, from what you say, for you. I read what Ludi said, but I don't think that is likely to be really true, more likely just a come-on and cover.
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Re: Best countries for buying a wife

Unread postby frankthetank » Sat 07 Feb 2009, 00:01:53

I'm with Shanny... Go on a trip. Its a great way to recharge the batteries. I'd go to Alaska or something during the summer or head somewhere tropical while its cold. Go out to the desert southwest and explore the Grand Canyon or the deserts out there. We just took a trip to Florida and i'd leave again tomorrow in a heartbeat back there or anywhere green or warm!...

Good luck..
lawns should be outlawed.
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frankthetank
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Re: Best countries for buying a wife

Unread postby Olaf » Sat 07 Feb 2009, 01:33:44

Heineken,

I feel you on the handling problems yourself. I really do. It is ok to need help with them though. Let me say that again. It's ok to need help; but don't trust some jerk-off like me on the internet. Sometime it isn't the counseling that is wrong, but the counselor. Find another. Be stronger than the shit you're dealing with.

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