[taizy8]

Hi Runcornbridge, welcome.

I am in the same situation as you...my husband doesn't want to hear the worst.....but now I have started telling it a kind of joking way..meanwhile I am researching and ordering a few good books, med kits etc...unfortunately we are not living in a permanent situation and are a long way from homebase, which doesn't help with storing, growing etc..but is good for mental prep which may be crucial.

Doom and gloom all the time is not good.

[mercurygirl]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('BigTex', 'I')f you love your partner, respect their view of the world and the future. When it comes to the future, no one knows for sure what will happen. Just make your case in a clear and respectful way and don't go doomer on them. Doomer rants are a turnoff to others, no matter how much fun they are for you (unless you happen to be talking to another doomer, in which case it's great fun for both of you).

[bodigami]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('BigTex', 'T')hink about how YOU came to peak oil. Think about if someone else had tried to push you to it. Would you have resisted? It's something you should ask yourself
This is a BIG deal, and people really need to come to their own understanding of it. With that said, I find that my wife is coming around more and more to see what I see, but it has been a gradual process.
If you love your partner, respect their view of the world and the future. When it comes to the future, no one knows for sure what will happen. Just make your case in a clear and respectful way and don't go doomer on them. Doomer rants are a turnoff to others, no matter how much fun they are for you (unless you happen to be talking to another doomer, in which case it's great fun for both of you).
I have a theory about a person's predisposition to believe in doom scenarios, and it has to do with the years of a person's life between ages 5 and 10, along with the age of the parents.
My theory is that the economic climate during the time period between ages 5 and 10 will have about a 66% determinant effect on one's predisposition to believe in doom as an adult, and the remaining 33% is determined by the economic climate during the parents' childhood.
For me, the doom stars are in almost perfect alignment.
I was age 5-10 in 1975-1980, a truly depressing and doomalicious period.
My parents' childhood was the mid to late 1930s for my mother and the late 1930s to early 1940s for my dad, so they each had been exposed to lots of doomishness as kids as well.
Thus, I grew up with my parents passing along their experiences and perspectives while I was developing my own in similarly bleak economic conditions.
Thus, as an adult I am like a quickdraw doomer, and any prosperity kind of annoys me, because every bit of economic growth feels like a hole being dug deeper. I can't help being this way, it's just how I see things. The lucky (or maybe unlucky) thing is that I happen to be alive when this doomer sensibility is ver important to have, because I think that we are looking at a future that will be very challenging, and the people whose childhoods were after about 1985 and whose parents' childhoods were after about 1946 are going to have a LOT of cognitive dissonance to overcome.
Back to the OP, and considering my theory, the member's husband is 60 years old, which means he was age 5-10 in 1953-1958, some of the most prosperous times in our history. I'm not surprised he is resistant to doom scenarios. It wouldn't surprise me either if his parents were ages 5-10 in the 1920s, in which case he would have a double dip of rose colored thinking to overcome.
I think that a double dip of deluxe doom thinking will serve one well in coming years.
Try this theory out on people. If they seem to "get" the peak oil thing right off the bat, find out the years in which they were ages 5-10.

[threadbear]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('Lumpy', 'B')eing in a situation where one HAS to hold one's tongue entirely about ANYTHING one perceives to be a problem or real threat (as most of us here think of peak oil's impact) can be devastating to a marriage.
Lumpy

[charliebrownout]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('Cashmere', 'T')hey're trying to get more females into online gaming by removing the stigma! Duh!

[turner]

My husband is also somewhat in denial and he is also a very intelligent man. I have to disagree with Cashmere who thinks that not getting Peak Oil means that you are not that bright.

I am sure if our husbands had read what we have they would understand where we are coming from. The problem for many men is that their whole being is tied up in being a successful breadwinner and to achieve that they have to believe in the economy being on the up and up. The idea that things will go bad impacts their ability to do their job and keep fronting up every day when really they don't want to. If they allow themselves to think this is not sustainable then they have to completely re-invent themselves and this is very scary. They can make such a transition in their 20's and 30's but 40+ is much more difficult. At mid-life and beyond they are worried about hanging on not starting something new.

I think the fact that your husband had a more challenged upbringing is also a huge factor. When you have grown up with very little and you have moved on you are frightened to be in a position of not knowing where you next meal is coming from. My husband is exactly the same and I know that is what drives him to disregard the things he knows are likely to be true in the longer run. I'm guessing that you had an easier upbringing like me and that has influenced how you/we think.

I'm not sure what the answer is other than gradually introducing them to the issues. My husband wavers between saying 1)that he respects my opinion and can't fault me on any other decisions I've made over 25 years being together and 2) I am a doomer. I find that his opinion correlates directly with how confident he is feeling at work. The unhappier he is at work the more he challenges me.

This weekend he agreed to reading just one book on the issue - probably to appease me. I am hoping that will change his perspective. Perhaps you could try that too.

Interestingly, I married into a very intelligent and political family who discuss issues at length, are anti establishment, athiest, and generally love a cause, but I can't get one of them to take PO on board. 7/9 are men! I think I've got more chance of convincing the 2 women than the others.

[watermelonpunch]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('charliebrownout', 'I') have to say, my husband says the EXACT same thing. He thinks I'm obsessed. He doesn't really want to talk about it. He finds the subject depressing.

[watermelonpunch]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('FoolYap', 'P')eak Oil is one of those long-term things, and it's also one that -- unless/until you learn enough about it to understand how huge the effects will be -- many probably think of as some sort of abstract issue for "techies" to deal with.

[allenwrench]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('turner', 'M')y husband is also somewhat in denial and he is also a very intelligent man. I have to disagree with Cashmere who thinks that not getting Peak Oil means that you are not that bright.

I am sure if our husbands had read what we have they would understand where we are coming from. The problem for many men is that their whole being is tied up in being a successful breadwinner and to achieve that they have to believe in the economy being on the up and up. The idea that things will go bad impacts their ability to do their job and keep fronting up every day when really they don't want to. If they allow themselves to think this is not sustainable then they have to completely re-invent themselves and this is very scary. They can make such a transition in their 20's and 30's but 40+ is much more difficult. At mid-life and beyond they are worried about hanging on not starting something new.

I think the fact that your husband had a more challenged upbringing is also a huge factor. When you have grown up with very little and you have moved on you are frightened to be in a position of not knowing where you next meal is coming from. My husband is exactly the same and I know that is what drives him to disregard the things he knows are likely to be true in the longer run. I'm guessing that you had an easier upbringing like me and that has influenced how you/we think.

I'm not sure what the answer is other than gradually introducing them to the issues. My husband wavers between saying 1)that he respects my opinion and can't fault me on any other decisions I've made over 25 years being together and 2) I am a doomer. I find that his opinion correlates directly with how confident he is feeling at work. The unhappier he is at work the more he challenges me.

This weekend he agreed to reading just one book on the issue - probably to appease me. I am hoping that will change his perspective. Perhaps you could try that too.

Interestingly, I married into a very intelligent and political family who discuss issues at length, are anti establishment, athiest, and generally love a cause, but I can't get one of them to take PO on board. 7/9 are men! I think I've got more chance of convincing the 2 women than the others.