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Peak Oil and relationships

Discussions related to the physiological and psychological effects of peak oil on our members and future generations.

Peak Oil and relationships

Unread postby Bman4k1 » Wed 21 May 2008, 16:56:12

So I decided to ask here because you are obviously all experts on something like this. I have been a peak oil believer for a couple of years now. So if you have a significant other thats an intelligent free thinking person who believes in Peak Oil and actually knows whats going on and how it will affect the world (shes an economist). The only problem is shes so freaked out she doesn't even want to talk about or prepare for the coming of it. She believes if you dont think or talk about it it wont happen. She still lives the western society consuming lifestyle and wants to buy everything under the sun. The only thing she has accepted is we probably wont be going to Europe on trips 10 years from now. I mean at least Im with someone who smart enough to know whats going on, but I think we'll have some major arguments in the future.
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Re: Peak Oil and reltionships

Unread postby RedStateGreen » Wed 21 May 2008, 17:05:14

She'll come around. That's called bargaining ('if I don't say anything it won't happen' -- she believes it, but is using superstition to avoid it). It's the next step after denial.

Just go about your usual preps. She'll either get really pissed and motivated to help you or get depressed about it. Maybe both.

It's better than denial. Really.
$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('efarmer', '&')quot;Taste the sizzling fury of fajita skillet death you marauding zombie goon!"

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Re: Peak Oil and relationships

Unread postby BigTex » Wed 21 May 2008, 17:07:43

She'll come around.

Just be nice to her.

Talk generally about different future scenarios and how well prepared you are for different events.

Focus on preparations that are not peak oil specific: pay down debt, buy fuel efficient vehicles, improve your home's energy efficiency.

Grow a garden.

Ride your bike.

Stuff like that.

Give her the tools to come to her own understanding of it, rather than basically pushing her into agreeing with your understanding of it.

Be gentle.
:)
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Re: Peak Oil and relationships

Unread postby Cashmere » Wed 21 May 2008, 17:15:50

I don't agree.

Prep every day.

Talk about IT every day.

Force her to listen.

If she doesn't start helping and discussing it within a couple of months, jettison her like the dead wood she is.

I absolutely would have no tolerance for my woman not being on board and helping.

My woman arrives home the other day and says, "I saw 6 people cutting grass that was only about 2 inches tall. We're screwed."

Wow, talk about a turn on!
Last edited by Cashmere on Wed 21 May 2008, 17:34:44, edited 1 time in total.
Massive Human Dieoff <b>must</b> occur as a result of Peak Oil. Many more than half will die. It will occur everywhere, including where <b>you</b> live. If you fail to recognize this, then your odds of living move toward the "going to die" group.
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Re: Peak Oil and relationships

Unread postby canis_lupus » Wed 21 May 2008, 17:17:42

Listen to Brother BigTex. Amen.

I made the mistake of freaking out after reading The Long Emergency. Scared the crap out of Mrs. Lupus. Took years to backtrack. Now I show her the oil graphs and how much we save by me making my own biodiesel.

By being inclusive, not reactionary, and fun, she's more open. We have fun planning the garden, throwing extra food in the cart ("honey, I'm at the store...do you want some extra cans of soup in case, you know, your Peak Oil happens today?")

She wants to learn about making candles with my beeswax. I talk to her about venom therapy for her joints. Tell her how much fun I had shooting growing up and how I think she'd be good at it and should try it. She's in.

Go gently and don't scare the crap out of him/her. And for Pete's sake, make sure you whistle while the world ends!
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Re: Peak Oil and relationships

Unread postby Cashmere » Wed 21 May 2008, 17:52:18

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('Mrs. Lupus', '"')honey, I'm at the store...do you want some extra cans of soup in case, you know, your Peak Oil happens today?"


Lupus, your tolerance is so much greater than mine it's mind numbing.

I'd give her exactly <b>one</b> stupid comment like that. Then I'd tell her in unconfusable terms that the next stupid comment, if made prior to doing about 1,000 hours of reading of materials of my choice, should be followed by "take care", because it would be over.

I guess for me it's a question of respect.

My wife respects me enough to understand that I don't bandy about end-of-the-world conspiracy theories to pass the time.

I guess what I'm saying is that my wife believes in me completely, and I can't imagine what a drain it would be having a PO naysayer laying next to me at night.

It's tough enough to deal with this as it is.
Massive Human Dieoff <b>must</b> occur as a result of Peak Oil. Many more than half will die. It will occur everywhere, including where <b>you</b> live. If you fail to recognize this, then your odds of living move toward the "going to die" group.
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Re: Peak Oil and relationships

Unread postby FreedomSlave » Wed 21 May 2008, 18:20:32

I'm in the middle on this one.

The BigTex approach definitely has merit if she's worth keeping in the first place, and I would have said the same a year ago, but...

time is too short to fuck around with trying to wake up someone who should already be smart enough, and who has heard it from you long enough, to be very well informed.

At some point, it comes down to her assessment of your (and your sources) credibility. How right do you have to be and for how long before the person closest to you finally pays attention to what you are saying and takes it seriously? If she's not willing to open her eyes, despite all objective truth and evidence that you try to present, then kick her ass to the curb. She will be an anchor that will drown you in the early stages of die-off if you don't.

And if you do not have children, get out of the relationship PRONTO if she chooses denial and clinging to a literally dead-end lifestyle over your attempts to help both of you.

It took me a while to really get my wife to absorb all this, and I still wonder exactly the extent of her comprehension of the impending doom, but she's 100% on board with all my planning and preps. She's changed more, learned more, and grown more as a person in the last two years than in her whole life. It took some effort, but everything I've been telling her has been manifesting itself in more direct, obvious and tangible ways (and on a daily basis - now), which has also helped wake her up.

Peak oil is here, now. 8O This is no longer an academic exercise for you or her. You need a teammate, not a sparring partner. Major arguments should not occur over whether or not to prep a "lifeboat" after you know the ship is already sinking.

Talk to her about the TITANIC a bit more - it really is a great analogy for our great hubris, deadly denial, and group panic. As is the example of so many Holocaust victims, even to the point of reaching the "showers"...
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Re: Peak Oil and relationships

Unread postby aldente » Wed 21 May 2008, 20:12:45

You have to buy your wife a PO- umbrella.

Image

I personally do not discuss PO with my wife any longer which is a good thing. To ignore the subject matter is a valid option, and after all here you have an explanation to some of the most pressing questions on this forum as of why there is such denial in regards to the subject matter in the first place.
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Re: Peak Oil and relationships

Unread postby americandream » Wed 21 May 2008, 20:27:55

I jettisoned mine last year. I knew this was coming like 10 years ago when we married. Being a Marxist, I knew this legoland system was destined to fcuk up, especially when the Indians and Chinese joined us in smoking weed.

I tried reasoning her into preparing and it essentially became a battle of lifestyle choices, with her's being the one we had to follow because thats what everyone else was doing.

Come last year, I had enough of the mind games and got out. It's not easy. Being PO aware is a solitary place to be...it's where you will probably feel the most need for support. But when you know that the ships going down and you significant other is down in the dining hall knocking back a three course dinner, it's time to make choices or else go down with the ship. It's not easy though.
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Re: Peak Oil and relationships

Unread postby Peleg » Wed 21 May 2008, 20:38:28

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('albente', 'Y')ou have to buy your wife a PO- umbrella.

Image

I personally do not discuss PO with my wife any longer which is a good thing. To ignore the subject matter is a valid option, and after all here you have an explanation to some of the most pressing questions on this forum as of why there is such denial in regards to the subject matter in the first place.


It seems like for alot of people it gets more unbelievable and improbable the more obvious it gets. Prices are on the type of trjectory that only peak oil could explain, so rather than think what will I do do prepare 'just to be safe.' They think, 'Let's eat and drink, for tommorow we die. [Not!]'

I am thankful that my wife both shares my insight in to Peak Oil and my faith in Jesus. So we are good. Whatever we have to face we will be able to do it together.

I would say that no matter the issue or circumstances the dynamics of a healthy relationshipare always the same. Patience and love, mercy, some laughter, some love-making.

My wife said that steps for her were

1) understanding how important oil is for everything in America and that changing would not be easy

2) from there some basic market facts and figures and a husband who was talking about it alot.

As I said though, I have been through alot of things in my life, wealth and poverty, safety and danger. If you find a center within yourself (for me it is my Christian faith) you gain a valuable inner perspective on the issue.

The history of the world is filled with cataclysm. And so we stand in the face of another. You either survive or you don't.

I recommend anyone who is interested to check out the Christian Perspectives on Peak Oil thread. The chapel is always open.
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Re: Peak Oil and relationships

Unread postby aldente » Wed 21 May 2008, 21:12:43

How does the S-live look like in a Christian relationship?
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Re: Peak Oil and relationships

Unread postby americandream » Wed 21 May 2008, 22:59:32

And it was all by the grace of god that i came to be born in peak oilia!
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Re: Peak Oil and relationships

Unread postby Pops » Thu 22 May 2008, 00:05:34

Perhaps his/her assessment is as valid as yours.


Deal with it or deal her/him out, depending on your assessment, I guess.


Read my book:

Peak Oil Psychology


Available Here!
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Re: Peak Oil and relationships

Unread postby bodigami » Thu 22 May 2008, 00:06:54

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('albente', 'Y')ou have to buy your wife a PO- umbrella.

Image
(...)


:lol: you mean for when TSHTF? :lol: that seems like a strong enough umbrella to hold many kg of shit...
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Re: Peak Oil and relationships

Unread postby Pops » Thu 22 May 2008, 00:10:27

Crap I about peed my pants when I typed in www.pops.com and came up with that page just now!

Life is indeed good!

Give her a kiss and do what you need to do Bman, let her do what she needs to do and hopefully you'll get done what needs done.
The legitimate object of government, is to do for a community of people, whatever they need to have done, but can not do, at all, or can not, so well do, for themselves -- in their separate, and individual capacities.
-- Abraham Lincoln, Fragment on Government (July 1, 1854)
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Re: Peak Oil and relationships

Unread postby BigTex » Thu 22 May 2008, 00:39:57

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('Pops', 'C')rap I about peed my pants when I typed in www.pops.com and came up with that page just now!

Life is indeed good!

Give her a kiss and do what you need to do Bman, let her do what she needs to do and hopefully you'll get done what needs done.


I think this may have been set up by TPTB as some kind of subterfuge.

Look at what they are saying over there at pops.com:

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('', 'T')he POPS program ensures that students and employees will be positively influenced rather than unknowingly be subjected to negativism.

POPS BELIEVES

•Everybody wants to be somebody—everybody is somebody
•Positive attitudes are vital for good health, wealth and happiness
•Attitudes and behaviors are learned
•Attitudes are taught in the home, school and community
•Teachers can help students learn to believe in themselves and become aware of their great potential
•There is a direct relationship between self-esteem and achievement
•Self-concept is learned as a consequence of experience; therefore it can be taught
•When you lose your feelings of importance, you lose your zeal for life
•Students, faculty and staff are positively or negatively influenced by the people and events that are a part of their everyday lives


Pops, I'm afraid that we may be violating the POPS principles by causing people to be "unknowingly subjected to negativism."

Maybe this is some kind of John Denver practical joke.
:)
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Re: Peak Oil and relationships

Unread postby Pops » Thu 22 May 2008, 01:00:40

:lol:

Bunch of Pinkos need to Shut Their Traps!

LOL!

No, really; this time I am actually laughing out loud at my computer!
The legitimate object of government, is to do for a community of people, whatever they need to have done, but can not do, at all, or can not, so well do, for themselves -- in their separate, and individual capacities.
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Re: Peak Oil and relationships

Unread postby Pops » Thu 22 May 2008, 01:17:05

Ahhem.

Sorry Bman for derailing your first thread for a moment there.

Welcome.

Carry on as you see fit and let her do the same and you'll come together.

Most important is to plan every step so it is beneficial in both the best and worst case.

:)
The legitimate object of government, is to do for a community of people, whatever they need to have done, but can not do, at all, or can not, so well do, for themselves -- in their separate, and individual capacities.
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Re: Peak Oil and relationships

Unread postby AnIowan » Thu 22 May 2008, 02:08:57

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('Bman4k1', 'S')o I decided to ask here because you are obviously all experts on something like this. I have been a peak oil believer for a couple of years now. So if you have a significant other thats an intelligent free thinking person who believes in Peak Oil and actually knows whats going on and how it will affect the world (shes an economist). The only problem is shes so freaked out she doesn't even want to talk about or prepare for the coming of it. She believes if you dont think or talk about it it wont happen. She still lives the western society consuming lifestyle and wants to buy everything under the sun. The only thing she has accepted is we probably wont be going to Europe on trips 10 years from now. I mean at least Im with someone who smart enough to know whats going on, but I think we'll have some major arguments in the future.


I've been really digging into peak oil for only a couple of months, and my wife, while supportive, has given me a number of eye rolls as I talk about some ways of updating/preparing ourselves for whatever is about to come around the corner.

At this point, I'm going to keep proding, gently, but to continue to work it into conversations and such. Plus, I'll keep her updated on the plans that I'm making for us. I do hope that the eye rolls turn into action, but will continue to plan for all of us (daughters 7 and 10).

Plus, if i can get past the initial resistance, my wife was a farm girl, and by god farm girls know how to do stuff and aren't afraid to get their hands dirty either! :lol:
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Re: Peak Oil and relationships

Unread postby Kfish » Thu 22 May 2008, 07:30:53

Jesus Christ, Cashmere, do you even know what a relationship IS? It's that thing when two people share mutual affection and RESPECT. Why should a woman hang around if you're going to shit on her opinion, but demand complete and total respect for your own?

There are many, many reasons for doing things that are coincidentally peak oil prep - save money, go green, build a healthy lifestyle, keep old skills alive, developing interesting hobbies - find the one that works for your SO.

Oh, and don't go on about what a wide-awake, critical thinking person you're looking for when you're actually looking for someone who will blindly follow your END OF THE WORLD mindview.
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