[Gimme_Shelter]

i'm a long-time lurker as a guest - this is my first post.

have a question -- have any of you lost (or given up on)significant relationships/marriages over peak oil?

if so - why? what happened?

G_S

[auscanman]

No, but the requirement for any potential partner of mine to understand peak oil, and want to do as much as possible to prepare for it rules out 99.9999% or so of all women around my age.

[americandream]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('auscanman', 'N')o, but the requirement for any potential partner of mine to understand peak oil, and want to do as much as possible to prepare for it rules out 99.9999% or so of all women around my age.

[Narz]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('auscanman', 'N')o, but the requirement for any potential partner of mine to understand peak oil, and want to do as much as possible to prepare for it rules out 99.9999% or so of all women around my age.

[Nano]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('Gimme_Shelter', 'h')ave a question -- have any of you lost (or given up on)significant relationships/marriages over peak oil?

[Nano]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('Narz', '')$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('auscanman', 'N')o, but the requirement for any potential partner of mine to understand peak oil, and want to do as much as possible to prepare for it rules out 99.9999% or so of all women around my age.

[Grifter]

I think if your marriage fails over peak oil then I believe the marriage would have failed anyway.

A subject like this may bring problems to the fore but those problems were simmering away anyway, disguised by the current lifestyle of living like lords.

[JJ]

Good topic....my wife was Peak Oil aware before I even met her (growing up in a third world country). Her posture has always been for us to be prepared, but Americans won't believe it until it happens to them, because they are stupid. Harsh words, but true.

[Lumpy]

This has not happened to me. However, like with any other 'basic tenet', I can see where peak oil 'stuff' (the attitude of making serious preparations, backing off from gross consumerism, etc) could create a real rift if one partner was marching to that drummer and one was not.

Even in my marriage -- with both of us being total believers -- there is some strain caused by peak oil. It has to do with personal approaches. I am the pragmatist who sees the problem, wants to work out the solution, then move forward. He is the much more inclined to expend energy worrying about what will be coming.

We all only have so much energy. I am not saying that I don't worry -- but the more energy one expends worrying, the less energy one expends "doing" (preparing, etc.)

This is a source of frustration -- and it would probably not exist to the degree that it does if I (and he, too) did not see the reality of peak oil, and the urgency for change. It's just the difference in responses that cause a problem.

Still - how could a PO person who REALLY believed be in a solid relationship with a person who wanted to buy bigger cars, couldn't stand the idea of getting dirty by growing one's own veggies, etc. (Those are examples -- you get the idea.)

Lumpy

[Nano]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('Lumpy', 'E')ven in my marriage -- with both of us being total believers -- there is some strain caused by peak oil. It has to do with personal approaches. I am the pragmatist who sees the problem, wants to work out the solution, then move forward. He is the much more inclined to expend energy worrying about what will be coming.

We all only have so much energy. I am not saying that I don't worry -- but the more energy one expends worrying, the less energy one expends "doing" (preparing, etc.)

[dinopello]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('Gimme_Shelter', 'i')'m a long-time lurker as a guest - this is my first post.

have a question -- have any of you lost (or given up on)significant relationships/marriages over peak oil?

if so - why? what happened?

G_S

[gnm]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('JJ', 'G')ood topic....my wife was Peak Oil aware before I even met her (growing up in a third world country). Her posture has always been for us to be prepared, but Americans won't believe it until it happens to them, because they are stupid. Harsh words, but true.

[davep]

Well, my wife was used to having a well-paid husband, while she looked after our daughter and spent my money.

Then I told her I had quit my job and we were moving to the country. This went down like a lead balloon for some reason.

However, despite all her threats, here we are in the country, I'm finishing my farming placement this week, to become a recognised farmer (i.e. to buy more land).

She would enjoy it if it weren't for the financial insecurity. I've sorted that by getting a well-paid job again. So, hopefully we're in the best of all worlds.

After this smug little post, she'll probably leave me tomorrow.

[MattSavinar]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('Nano', '
')
Auscanman has a point. Most women (that I know) require that a potential mate conforms well with popular 'opinion' and who likes the status quo. Women seem to be afraid of men who are non-conformers.

.

[JJ]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('gnm', '')$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('JJ', 'G')ood topic....my wife was Peak Oil aware before I even met her (growing up in a third world country). Her posture has always been for us to be prepared, but Americans won't believe it until it happens to them, because they are stupid. Harsh words, but true.

[BigTex]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('davep', 'W')ell, my wife was used to having a well-paid husband, while she looked after our daughter and spent my money.

Then I told her I had quit my job and we were moving to the country. This went down like a lead balloon for some reason.

However, despite all her threats, here we are in the country, I'm finishing my farming placement this week, to become a recognised farmer (i.e. to buy more land).

She would enjoy it if it weren't for the financial insecurity. I've sorted that by getting a well-paid job again. So, hopefully we're in the best of all worlds.

After this smug little post, she'll probably leave me tomorrow.

[Lumpy]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('Nano', '
')I have about the same situation as you, only I am the man in this case. I think I know what your man's problem is. It is the fact that there is very little for people to really do about the peak oil problem. Of course: you can save money and cut down on energy use, sure, but the fact is we still don't know enough about how the world will decisively react to peak oil - the macroscopic consequences and fallout are still difficult to predict. So until one knows more about that, the major preparedness changes like perhaps moving somewhere else or getting a different job still require extensive 'thinking about the problem' or 'worrying' in other words. No?

[Tanada]

While I can not blame Peak Oil for this mess I am in the hours I have spent on here were certainly not a help. Due to my inattention to my marriage and my wife's inherent need to spend money and her wanderlust she came home Sunday night (48 hours ago) and informed me she is filing for a divorce. I spent the last two days trying to convince her of what a bad idea it would be for her to do this to no avail. So here I am, 6 years and 9 months into what I thought was the marriage I would die-off in, deciding how to split up what few assets and many debts which have accumulated in my marriage.

Those of you who are so inclined, please pray for us. I know financially this is going to be a big setback for me and I also know my wife's history of spending more than she can afford to when she is single. I do not anticipate a happy resolution, so a miracle would be really helpful right about now.

[mmasters]

I think women in general are somewhat more receptive to societal programming and mind control. Peak oil is too threatening to most people's worldview especially the more heavily brainwashed types. This largely includes the service and duty oriented types of people which are a massive chunk of the population. Furthermore I think you have to have somebody that can see the truth. Few people in this world are critical thinking and truth seeking. Without the ability to process the complexity and see through the politics and games who's to say where the truth lies? I think that's the major problem here is that most have little to no faculties to wake themselves up to these matters in advance of what's coming.

[Homesteader]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('Tanada', 'W')hile I can not blame Peak Oil for this mess I am in the hours I have spent on here were certainly not a help. Due to my inattention to my marriage and my wife's inherent need to spend money and her wanderlust she came home Sunday night (48 hours ago) and informed me she is filing for a divorce. I spent the last two days trying to convince her of what a bad idea it would be for her to do this to no avail. So here I am, 6 years and 9 months into what I thought was the marriage I would die-off in, deciding how to split up what few assets and many debts which have accumulated in my marriage.

Those of you who are so inclined, please pray for us. I know financially this is going to be a big setback for me and I also know my wife's history of spending more than she can afford to when she is single. I do not anticipate a happy resolution, so a miracle would be really helpful right about now.