[MikeB]

I'm submitting the following article to our Sunday paper in the hope the some unwary people will be snared by my fine rhetoric

I've had to do some of the math myself. If anyone would like to critique, I would be much obliged. It has to stay under 750 words:

Title: The search for planet oil is on

Millions of years ago, ancient life forms sequestered solar energy in their cells, died, and settled on the floors of long-vanished seas. Tectonic forces drew this organic material into the earth’s crust, where it was converted into petroleum. No new oil has been produced in all of human history.

Oil comes in several forms, the best being “conventionalâ€

[rerere]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('MikeB', ' ')No new oil has been produced in all of human history.

[Dvanharn]

I like your piece, and it makes sense and covers a lot of the aspects of peak oilquite wellwithin the 750 word limit. I am not offering suggestions to change it, because it needs to be your voice.

See if you can get it published, and let us know if there are letters to the editor challenging your information. It is often more difficult to rebut counter-claims than to write an original article. Responses will also enlighten you about obstacles to postcarbon lifestyles in your area.

Actually, writing in a slightly provocative & challenging manner is good, because it elicits responses (as is done here and at other internet forums). Your goals should be twofold - first to inform and secondly to provoke debate and discussion.

Dave

[uNkNowN ElEmEnt]

Good article. Depending upon who you are writing for I would like to make two suggestions.

Make your words smaller, copy writers write to an eight grade level, if they want to make it sound educated they write to a tenth grade level. Serious no joke.

Start with a hook, give a problem or question that will hook readers from an angle. This is to keep them interested enough to read the whole thing.

We often think that an article should be like an essay that leads the reader from A to B. But that won't keep them reading. They want the "what's in it for me". And unless you give them a reason to make it personal they won't bother with it. Good Luck! Keep us posted.

[Ayoob_Reloaded]

Your opening needs a hook.

I had to dig for three paragraphs before I felt like I was out of the "high school science text book" zone.

You gotta spice it up to get somebody to stick around for the second paragraph. Sex and death are two of the biggies. Shoot for sex! There's so much death in most of the PO lit. Work some titties in there. Hot oil wrestling in a strip club or something. Who's your audience? Maybe just do the cocoa butter on a sunbather or something. Get their attention!

[Aaron]

Title: Oil: Half Gone is All Bad

Millions of years ago, ancient life forms stored solar energy in their cells, died, and settled on the floors of long-vanished seas. Geologic forces drew this organic material into the earth’s crust, where it was converted over millions of years into petroleum and other hydrocarbons.

Oil comes in several forms, the best being “conventionalâ€

[MikeB]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('', 'W')ork some titties in there.

[uNkNowN ElEmEnt]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('', 'Y')ou gotta spice it up to get somebody to stick around for the second paragraph. Sex and death are two of the biggies. Shoot for sex! There's so much death in most of the PO lit. Work some titties in there. Hot oil wrestling in a strip club or something. Who's your audience? Maybe just do the cocoa butter on a sunbather or something. Get their attention

[RealJoe]

Before you publish this article, do everyone a favor and check those numbers. Not getting the numbers right will evaporate your credibility fast! As an example, if we round off the USA population as 300 million and the world population as 6.5 billion, than the ratio of the USA's population to the world's is a little less than 5%, not 2%. Sounds picky, but if the numbers don't hold water, your argument won't have merit to any skeptical reader.

[maverickdoc]

Pretty good MikeB. good luck, let us know which paper and when

[OldSprocket]

I like the article too.

I even believe that economic growth requires additional energy. But somehow I expect many readers to disconnect there. "Didn't this company earn more this year and cut their energy use by installing new lights?" or some such.

I know you can't patch every hole that every reader MIGHT imagine. That's the one I imagined though.

Good luck.

[BabyPeanut]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('Shannymara', 'R')egarding 2% growth and "what does that mean?", I think doubling time is a good way to clarify that.