[Nicholai]

The idea of marriage has never really crossed my mind at a personal level, but when I look at fellow "Peak Oilers (who live in my city)" with wives or committed girlfriends, I feel bad for them. Most of them want to move away or start their own permaculture farms but can't, almost entirely because of their spouse.

Lucky for me, my only great challenge is pulling away from my parents. I'm decent at "word smithing" and I've done a mediocre job at convincing them that I'm simply saving up for a trip to Germany. When the time does come for me to purchase the supplies and land, I won't have NEARLY the same difficulties in moving away.

I hope my statement doesn't slander marriage or partnership, I think marriage can be a wonderful think, or so I'm told. When it comes to making unconventional decisions, marriage and serious partnership can pose a definite problem.

[auscanman]

There couldn't be anything worse for someone seriously concerned about PO than a spouse who not only is wilfully blind, but doesn't want to hear about it. That said, if you're able to find someone who is intelligent, open-minded, and also somewhat unconventional you can convince them of the seriousness of this issue, and make even better preparations... two heads are better than one!

Since I have yet to meet a woman who has been receptive to peak oil, I'm happy to be single.

Try throwing out subtle hints... like mentioning that you've seen End of Suburbia, Crude Awakening, or read books like the Long Emergency, and see how your significant other reacts.

[Chesire]

When I see a happy couple to be in the jewelry store , looking at rings.

I still like to say " You there , yes you looking at the wedding rings with your lady " RUN YOU FOOL ITS A TRAP

This pisses my wife off to no end

Then again women are about to be stripped of an enormous amount of legal and social protections . There will simply be no energy or desire to protect them . as economies that are now circling bowl slip under the waves.

[frankthetank]

I'm in a mixed boat, but i think it will sink...and fast.

I've got a wife, who that doe understand, still doesn't want to change..anything! I feel stuck, big time. Now that we have a newborn, who can't grow up fast enough, i've dug myself an even deeper hole.

My wife is also glued to her family, that while very nice people, are unaware of PO. My own family is mostly oblivious, but my mom gets it i think and at least one sibling (a brother) gets it. Money wise they are all better off then me (on my families side), but on my wifes side they are all poor.

I do realize that you can't do this alone, no way, no how. It would also be very boring trying to do this alone. Even Dick Proenneke in the wilds of Alaska had company and people bringing him supplies. I could see "bugging" out for a few months, but thats tops and you still have to worry about your own security---i'd rather be surrounded by friends and family in a crisis then a bunch of strange people with nothing to lose.

[Ludi]

Why won't people want to protect women? I don't understand why I'm not worth protecting. Geez, guys, do you have to be such complete assholes?

[Kingcoal]

Men are sperm donors and women are baby factories. A family is a bloodline produced by the selfishness of the shared genes. The ultimate goal is to preserve the bloodline; we are slaves to our genes. Our modern society is based on the perversion of courtship, in which the sperm donor becomes convinced that for some strange reason, he has to prove his worthiness endlessly. Men are the problem here, or the lack thereof. It takes a man to stand up to a woman and there aren't many of those left.

Once the children are born, the father has to take charge; otherwise he is caught in a fruitless cycle of debt ultimately ending in divorce. The reason why most of these marriages end in divorce is that deep down inside, the woman wants to be conquered and that desire is never fulfilled. Women want to win a man, not dominate them. They want to be told what to do, I don't care if they are president of a multinational corporation or just a housewife, they want a man to act like a man and head the household.

The problem with a lot of women these days is that they are spoiled. The problem with being spoiled is that the person always thinks that they "deserve" and can get something better. I've seen marriage after marriage fail because the woman thinks that she can do better with someone else. Our society nurtures this idea because the divorce settlement generally allows the woman to walk away with a lot more than she entered the marriage with, which puts her in a better bargaining position when she looks for a new mate. Still, most of these women end up worse off after the marriage fails. They repeat the pattern with their new husband. These women are serial home wreckers and their children suffer as a result. Their sons grow up with the feeling that they are worthless and expendable. Their daughters grow up with the idea that men are to be used and discarded when the time is right.

I recommend hooking up with a girl from another country, say Latin America or Russia. These women are used to men who treat them like shit and will be grateful (as they should) to be treated with respect and tenderness for which American men are famous for around the world. Yes, American women, we American men are highly valued outside of the country. Conversely, American women are generally seen as spoiled and undesirable by most of the men in the rest of the world. We import everything else, why not wives?

[wxman]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('frankthetank', '
')I do realize that you can't do this alone, no way, no how. It would also be very boring trying to do this alone. Even Dick Proenneke in the wilds of Alaska had company and people bringing him supplies. I could see "bugging" out for a few months, but thats tops and you still have to worry about your own security---i'd rather be surrounded by friends and family in a crisis then a bunch of strange people with nothing to lose.

[Nicholai]

I think one of the major set backs in civilization will be the civil rights movement. When western economies begin to feel the pinch, other races, religious groups and even women will no longer be given special treatment.

Think of a poor, multicultural country that respects women and tolerates other religions and races.

Seeing these responses I'd have to say that I'm overjoyed that I'm not married or in a relationship.

I'm trying to build an earth shelter outside of Manitoba and all my friends continue to pester me with, "But you don't have any girls, they won't move there, they won't understand, they're too dumb, What Not to Wear Drrr Drrr Drrr."

Searching for a girl (that I'm attracted to) who is 18 and has similar interests seems impossible so I've just sort of put the dilemma on the bottom of my list of goals, maybe it's for the best.

[threadbear]

King Coal, When I moved to the U.S I was really taken aback by "stay at home-- married wife" culture. A sense of entitlement on steroids. It blew my mind. I really don't know if there's an equivalent anywhere else in the world.

This is a general comment, of course, and am sure it's also a regional thing, within the U.S. It's also based on a small sample of some of the people I came into contact with. There should definitely be exchange programs for Canadian women, who are used to being treated like crap in their own country, and American men, who don't seem to be treated well in their's.

[Nicholai]

Canadian women treated like crap? Are you kidding me? Maybe if you live in the Native Reserves where everyone is treated as 3rd class citizens (by the rest of the population), then possibly yes. Canada isn't nearly as religious as the US and are given enormous freedoms that wouldn't be given to them in the US, ie abortion rights. Canadian women are treated VERY well.

[Kingcoal]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('threadbear', 'K')ing Coal, When I moved to the U.S I was really taken aback by "stay at home-- married wife" culture. A sense of entitlement on steroids. It blew my mind. I really don't know if there's an equivalent anywhere else in the world.

This is a general comment, of course, and am sure it's also a regional thing, within the U.S. It's also based on a small sample of some of the people I came into contact with. There should definitely be exchange programs for Canadian women, who are used to being treated like crap in their own country, and American men, who don't seem to be treated well in their's.

[WildRose]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('Shannymara', '
')By the way, I reconciled with my husband again.

[Roy]

Nicholai,

Don't give up man... I found:

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('', ' ')someone who is intelligent, open-minded, and also somewhat unconventional

[WildRose]

Hi, Nicholai. I could write pages about marriage (28 years married to my guy), but that's really not necessary. It's been a great 28 years, and we're still very committed to each other.

I have learned a few things that I think are relevant for young guys like you who may be considering marriage. Though our collective future may be very difficult, the comfort and companionship of a lifetime partner could still be very worthwhile.

It is of utmost importance that you KNOW the person you are marrying. In other words, give it time. If you've been seeing a woman for a couple of years, you have probably seen her at her best and her worst and know what she values in life. If you both value most of the same things, that's a good starting point. For example, if you don't value a large home and mortgage and credit cards full of furniture purchases, don't marry someone who values these things. Whether or not to have a child can be a deal breaker, so you need to know where you both stand with that. Also, if one of you values monogamy and the other doesn't, it won't work. TALK about these things; don't take anything for granted.

Also, if you're at all thinking about actively "looking" for someone, be sure your own self-esteem is healthy. That way, you won't put up with bullshit from anyone and have a better chance of attracting the kind of person who is worth your time.

P.S. Nicholai, we may have passed each other on Mark Messier Way sometime, as I drive out to St. Albert fairly often!

[Nicholai]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('', ' ')Just focus on getting your life where you want it and the rest will happen, I believe.

[Ferretlover]

If I remember correctly, Nicholai, you are still in high school, or, at least, still quite young.
I wouldn't worry about marriage right now. If even half of what we are all predicting comes true, you stand a better chance of finding a suitable mate/companion after TSHTF.
I can say that I've been married 31 1/2 yrs to the same great guy-he's not entirely on board with PO, but, he has no objections to my purchasing prep things.

[threadbear]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('Nicholai', 'C')anadian women treated like crap? Are you kidding me? Maybe if you live in the Native Reserves where everyone is treated as 3rd class citizens (by the rest of the population), then possibly yes. Canada isn't nearly as religious as the US and are given enormous freedoms that wouldn't be given to them in the US, ie abortion rights. Canadian women are treated VERY well.

[Blacksmith]

Stay away from women. I have often said if I had to do it all over again I would be gay. We are attracted to women because of our fear of being alone I wonder weither the cure is worse than the desease?

[Chesire]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('Ludi', 'W')hy won't people want to protect women? I don't understand why I'm not worth protecting. Geez, guys, do you have to be such complete assholes?

[PrairieMule]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('Ludi', 'W')hy won't people want to protect women? I don't understand why I'm not worth protecting. Geez, guys, do you have to be such complete assholes?