[deMolay]

Men who would abuse any woman is not a man. He is a low life worm and a gutless piece of shit. Young man, let me give you a little bit of advice. At 18 you should not even think about marriage. You will not be a man until at least 25 years of age. Yes it is good that you are building a home. Build it, make it what you dream it should be, but leave room in your plans for a good and decent woman. She will want to add on here and move a wall there. Because the world is full of good and decent women. And yes their is one out their for you. Just for you. You will get the woman that you deserve. If you want a successful marriage keep this in mind. A marriage is a partnership a real partnership. It is also an act of being unselfish everday. No you will not agree with everything every decision. But as your trust and love for your special woman increases with time. You will be very satisfied even if you didnot always get things exactly as you envisioned they would be. Each day will be new day of learning and self evaluation. It will be the richest life experience you will ever know, even if it does not always seem so. As your trust and love deepens you will know when you need to take a stand and when you need to listen. There is nothing wrong with a quarrel. The making up later is always worth it.

[WildRose]

That was really beautiful, deMolay!!

[Lighthouse]

I met a French girl. She was sunbathing on the beach in Cannes, I was there to celebrate my pilots license with my friends.

It was a dare from my friends to ask the topless beauty out.

Log story short, I went over to her, made a stupid comment about her breasts (did not seem stupid at the time, but she told me yesterday she thought it was a very pathetic comment which she thought was kind of a nice try) and asked her out. She agreed.

Before I knew it I was married.

24 years later still together, still pulling on the same side of the rope having a great time.

[gg3]

KingCoal, women want to be dominated? You've got to be kidding. Or if not, you sound terribly depressed and should probably get some medicine to adjust your serotonin levels. Holy cow...

---

Blacksmith, you can do it all again, and I'd be glad to discuss it further! I'm a founding member of the Gay Recruiters' League, and we're out to convert any willing straight-guy who's open to being converted!

---

Nicholai, I was about to make you the same offer to solve your womens' issues, but then I remembered you're young enough to be my son, so that's "out-of-range" for me, sorry:-(.

On the other hand there are plenty of PO-aware women in my community group. Oops, most of them are old enough to be your grandmother, sorry:-(.

Seriously though. I have some hardcore serious advice for you about this topic. First of all, I get the impression that French is your primary language, so I'll avoid idiom and metaphor and try to be literal or at least explicit enough to be clear.

1) If you find yourself meeting girls & falling in love, the most important rule is: No penis/vagina intercourse until you've decided you want to have a kid together. I've seen too many cases of young couples who ended up getting pregnant by accident, and stuck together despite being terribly incompatible. Or at least, each of you need to use contraceptives all the time, every time. Or, instead of p/v intercourse, stick to oral sex until you decide to have a kid. And then, after the kid is born, have a reversible vasectomy to be sure you can't concieve another unless you go to the doctor first to have your tubes reconnected.

2) One good place to meet people with similar interests, is in groups that are engaged in action on climate change. Look for the doomers and survivalist types. Women who are in those categories will tend to be smart, capable, and certainly aware that the shit is about to hit the fan.

3) Don't let your balls make up your mind for you. The best partner is probably someone who isn't obvious at first, rather than someone you are instantly physically attracted to. Give yourself time to think, and get to know each other well.

4) Live together for a year or more before getting married. And during that time, both of you use contraception 100% of the time or practice non-p/v sexuality or just don't have sex (which is better than having sex and having a baby you aren't prepared for).

5) Even before you move in together, as soon as the relationship gets "serious," have the long talk about philosophy, lifestyle, values, practical stuff, and so on. This will save you the risk of painful surprises later.

6) What the other person here said about love being the most important value in life. (There is presently a system malfunction so I can't see previous postings in the window below, otherwise I would quote the details.)

----

We just had a marriage in the tribe. Wonderful couple, he's hardcore involved in the community, she's not a doomer but she understands what's up and she's very smart & in graduate studies for a relevant profession. I'm thrilled for both of them, and it's clear they're 100% committed and solid together, and will be together for the long haul.

Turns out we had another marriage in the tribe a couple of months ago, but I didn't know that couple at that time (yes we have people around who haven't met each other; this due to geography & proximity issues).

---

As for me, gay & single, open to life & love with the right guy. Anyone else...?

[Barbara]

Stop blaming women.

Try instead to live with an husband always planning to buy a Cherokee, always wanting to use money for travelling and flying here and there like there's no tomorrow, always looking for the new flat screen or palm PC and so on. Today there was a blackout here and I stayed 7 hours in the dark. Why? Because he installed those stupid automatic windows and without electricity you can't open them.

Marriage is something wonderful... until you meet that fateful PO. After that, it's just a countdown.

[Kingcoal]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('gg3', 'K')ingCoal, women want to be dominated? You've got to be kidding. Or if not, you sound terribly depressed and should probably get some medicine to adjust your serotonin levels. Holy cow...

As for me, gay & single, open to life & love with the right guy. Anyone else...?

[Kingcoal]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('Barbara', 'S')top blaming women.

Try instead to live with an husband always planning to buy a Cherokee, always wanting to use money for travelling and flying here and there like there's no tomorrow, always looking for the new flat screen or palm PC and so on. Today there was a blackout here and I stayed 7 hours in the dark. Why? Because he installed those stupid automatic windows and without electricity you can't open them.

Marriage is something wonderful... until you meet that fateful PO. After that, it's just a countdown.

[SpringCreekFarm]

I was raised to respect women and to not ever raise a hand to them. I think it is ridiculous to say that women in Canada are not treated with respect. Who the fuck has any proof of that. Canada is a big place so obviously there are exceptions but most of the women I know don't have problems being respected. Now what goes on behind closed doors is not always known but then why would it be necessarily bad.

I waited until I was 39 years old before I got married. I married a non-perfect person and offered myself up to her as the same. We don't see eye to eye on everything and thats ok. She doesn't even really believe the peak oil thing but still I love her, respect her for who she is.

I'll be taking charge should some catastrophe is concerned so she just needs to be able to trust my judgement. She is my equal and I wouldn't trade her for the world. ( Now that Shanny's off the market, that is):smile:

[lavandaia_di_borgunto]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('', '')$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('Nicholai', 'T')he idea of marriage has never really crossed my mind at a personal level, but when I ...

[threadbear]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('SpringCreekFarm', 'I') was raised to respect women and to not ever raise a hand to them. I think it is ridiculous to say that women in Canada are not treated with respect. Who the fuck has any proof of that. Canada is a big place so obviously there are exceptions but most of the women I know don't have problems being respected. Now what goes on behind closed doors is not always known but then why would it be necessarily bad.

I waited until I was 39 years old before I got married. I married a non-perfect person and offered myself up to her as the same. We don't see eye to eye on everything and thats ok. She doesn't even really believe the peak oil thing but still I love her, respect her for who she is.

I'll be taking charge should some catastrophe is concerned so she just needs to be able to trust my judgement. She is my equal and I wouldn't trade her for the world. ( Now that Shanny's off the market, that is):smile:

[SpringCreekFarm]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('threadbear', '')$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('SpringCreekFarm', 'I') was raised to respect women and to not ever raise a hand to them. I think it is ridiculous to say that women in Canada are not treated with respect. Who the fuck has any proof of that. Canada is a big place so obviously there are exceptions but most of the women I know don't have problems being respected. Now what goes on behind closed doors is not always known but then why would it be necessarily bad.

I waited until I was 39 years old before I got married. I married a non-perfect person and offered myself up to her as the same. We don't see eye to eye on everything and thats ok. She doesn't even really believe the peak oil thing but still I love her, respect her for who she is.

I'll be taking charge should some catastrophe is concerned so she just needs to be able to trust my judgement. She is my equal and I wouldn't trade her for the world. ( Now that Shanny's off the market, that is):smile:

[Chesire]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('threadbear', '
')
Boomer Canadian men are unique in that they will happily let you pay your own way, on the first date. They will also try to discern how much money you make, right off the bat. Really creepy.

It's not abusive, just a complete turn off.

[Gandhi]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('Nicholai', 'I') think one of the major set backs in civilization will be the civil rights movement. When western economies begin to feel the pinch, other races, religious groups and even women will no longer be given special treatment.

Think of a poor, multicultural country that respects women and tolerates other religions and races.

Seeing these responses I'd have to say that I'm overjoyed that I'm not married or in a relationship.

I'm trying to build an earth shelter outside of Manitoba and all my friends continue to pester me with, "But you don't have any girls, they won't move there, they won't understand, they're too dumb, What Not to Wear Drrr Drrr Drrr."

Searching for a girl (that I'm attracted to) who is 18 and has similar interests seems impossible so I've just sort of put the dilemma on the bottom of my list of goals, maybe it's for the best.

[gg3]

KingCoal: Laughing your head off eh? Excellent! Laughter will do you good!

---

Re. trying to scope out how much money you make: That would creep me out too. But one can always find the creative answers, such as:

"I don't make money, the Mint makes money. I tried making money when I was in college. Got caught and spent five years in federal prison. How do you like dating an ex felon?"

Or casually let slip... "Oh darn, do you mind if we stop by the bank? I forgot to deposit my welfare check, er, uh, paycheck..."

Or... "Nah, I don't get my hands dirty making it, I just spend it. About two more years and I can declare bankruptcy again, and get six more credit cards and go on a shopping spree."

Or... "Yeah, how did you know? I'll show you the printing press and the special paper if you promise not to tell anyone!"

---

What bugs me about gay (male) culture is that guys (straight or gay) think too much about sex.

When you put a guy with a gal, he has to tone it down or she'll think he's a drooling baboon.

When you put a guy with a guy, they look at each other and say "Hey, you make a pretty good-looking baboon!" "Yeah, you too!" "OK, last one to get their clothes off is a rotten egg!"

Give me a guy who's got a good brain in his head and a good heart. The rest will follow in its own good time.

[Ferretlover]

Jumping jehosephat!
Either you people are looking in the wrong places for significant others, or, the world has gone to h*ll since I last dated...

[frankthetank]

I don't think marriage is for everyone, hell i'd admit i'm not sure it was right for me. I held out as long as possible before getting married, know that baby wouldn't be far behind.

If your putting your schling schlong into places it shouldn't, then watch out, because 9 months later you may have the biggest HEADACHE of your life on your hands.

I could never be gay, i just am way TO attracted to women (like even the ugly ones!).

I'm still a little in touch with the younger generation and i can say that girls are still more interested in the make model of your car then how many bags of rice you have stashed away.

[Lighthouse]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('Ferretlover', 'J')umping jehosephat!
Either you people are looking in the wrong places for significant others, or, the world has gone to h*ll since I last dated...

[PenultimateManStanding]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('Shannymara', '
')By the way, I reconciled with my husband again. So you missed your chance, guys!

[Pretorian]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('threadbear', '
')Boomer Canadian men are unique in that they will happily let you pay your own way, on the first date. They will also try to discern how much money you make, right off the bat. Really creepy.

It's not abusive, just a complete turn off.

[PenultimateManStanding]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('frankthetank', ' ')
If your putting your schling schlong into places it shouldn't, then watch out, because 9 months later you may have the biggest HEADACHE of your life on your hands.