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How about a different example. My numbers.Mortgage+insurance/taxes=
We rent / 800$ month
-one day my wife and I will build the home we want.
Utilities= 50$
Food= 400$
Car payment= 0$ -we don't buy cars unless we can pay cash
School debt= 150$
Daycare= 0$
-We will have kids when we have time for them, and something
to teach them worth learning. Right now we are focusing on
developing ourselves. Skills. Talents. Achieving goals.
Retirement= 0$ -Whatever we have left at the end of each month goes into
savings.
Gas for car= 200-500$ -Depends on which of our cars we drive

I love my new sports
car but its a gas guzzler.
Miscellaneous= 500$
-The family you are talking about, if they are average Americans,
probably spend most of their Misc. cash paying credit card
interest. My wife and I have never had credit cards. We fear
them. When we first met both of us could name more thrift store
chains than department store chains.
Total= 2100-2400 per month$By putting ourselves in a position where we are only spending $1200 per person per month, we have watched our savings and investments grow substantially.
I am not saying: "I got mine."
I am saying my wife and I spent a lot of time thinking about what we wanted and the best way to get there. We knew there would be periods where we would work 15 hour days and eat Ramen. We knew our path would be a lot harder if we buried ourselves in a huge mortgage, or had kids right off the bat.
Now, because of our planning, we have much more control of our lives. This does not mean that I look down on folks experiencing tough times. I have argued both side of this issue, and I do believe "the system" has a great deal to do with the decay of the middle class dream. My grandfather raised 5 kids solely on his paycheck, and they lacked nothing essential.
But the example you give Thuja is a bit different in my head.
It reminds me of too many folks I know personally who really haven't taken any responsibility for their actions of late. I have never felt the world owed me anything. Many folks I know, do. They don't have a clue how blessed they are.
I have friends who have bought homes they couldn't afford because they were competing with peers.
I have friends who have decided to have kids before they were anywhere close to being able to financially support them.
They really feel they deserve to have things work out for them. I hope things do work out for them.
But, in the cases when I have watched things go sour, they almost always seem to find someone or something else to blame. They never look in the mirror. Because if they were looking in the mirror, and being honest with themselves, they would have to face the truth.
This is the world we live in. Prepare for it.
Hey Vexed sounds like you have done some good financial planning. Yes- without kids the world is your oyster. You can survive and put away a fair bit of money if both partners are working average wage jobs (35k a year). In your example- 2400$= about 3000/month pre tax or about 36 k a year.
That means one of you could work a normal job, hopefully with medical benefits while the other puts aside money for savings, retirement or downpayment.
The problem is having kids. Things get much more complicated. You have to choose to either
2- Have the partner work and pay for additional transportation costs and daycare.
3- Or do a combination of 1 and 2.
There is a further complication because if you have two or more kids most people want to move up to a three bedroom house. This costs more money for rent or mortgage.
So, as I have said before, it ain't like it used to be. So...if you want to have kids, go in with eyes wide open and with a strong mind for budgeting and reducing expenses. Otherwise you will end up like most of the middle class, stresses, falling behind and in massive debt.