[rostov]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('Barbara', 'M')y family will be in danger after PO, but hey, it will be HIS fault

[Barbara]

I want to thank you all for your good advice.
Hubby did read: he read the whole Heinberg, and I update him everyday with news from the world... believe me: he knows more than me about PO! LOL
But as a PO friends said, he's the kind of man who thinks he can solve any problem right when the problem show itself at the door. Preparing for something which we can't know WHEN will come and IF will come in the way we think is simply out of question. Add to this the fact that he is is the "take it easy" guy, and you have the picture.
I figure that if we were in NO, he'd simply say "come on, it's just another hurricane like those we had million times, no need to rush away."
I guess how many of this kind ended stuck at the Superdome...

[rogerhb]

I'm a take it easy kind of guy!

For any problem I look for the easiest solution (why make the solution any harder than it need be?) however it actually has to be a solution.

Eg, you take take it easy on a train but only if you have got on the right one!

[skyemoor]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('Barbara', 'I') want to thank you all for your good advice.
Hubby did read: he read the whole Heinberg, and I update him everyday with news from the world... believe me: he knows more than me about PO! LOL
But as a PO friends said, he's the kind of man who thinks he can solve any problem right when the problem show itself at the door. Preparing for something which we can't know WHEN will come and IF will come in the way we think is simply out of question. Add to this the fact that he is is the "take it easy" guy, and you have the picture.

[mgibbons19]

He sounds like a good guy. You'll do fine. There really is only so much you can do with knowing the how or where or when. Those folks in NOLA, some of them may have been PO aware, with gold in their basement, a year's worth of stores in the cellar, a super insulated home. And now it's all underwater. The stores are good and helpful, but in the longest run, it's what's between your ears that matters.

Not to lecture, because mine is still a work in progress too, but marriages are made of different personalities. If you're the prep lady making plans laying up stores paying down debt, and he's the super smart seat of the pants guy, then you complement each other and are going to bring different qualities to any problem you encounter.

And for talking about it, you have the forums. Isn't that what inet friends are for?

[BabyPeanut]

Suppose you won the argument. What would you do from there on? Is there any part of that you could do now?

Are there any ways you could suggest doing what you want without mentioning Peak Oil? Enviromental causes? Love for the Earth, etc?

[Barbara]

Babypeanut,
I've started my (tiny) garden because of peakoil, with the guy laughing his a** over my contanier gardening in the balcony.
Three months later, he was going around to relatives and friends saying how he was proud of his wife giving organic great tomatoes to the family.
As you can see, there are always good excuses... too bad those excuses come always later!
I mean... there's no way to buy a house lost in the farmland then find an excuse "AFTER"!

PS Hubby is a great man... unfortunately he has TOO MUCH sense of humor and he loves to exercitate it ON ME!!!

[BabyPeanut]

Their are people who's carreer it is to present ideas to other people. Marketing, etc. They are sucessful in convincing people to do what they want. If you can break down what needs to be done and market it you can get from where you are to where you need to be.

[rogerhb]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('BabyPeanut', 'T')heir are people who's carreer it is to present ideas to other people. Marketing, etc. They are sucessful in convincing people to do what they want. If you can break down what needs to be done and market it you can get from where you are to where you need to be.

[bart]

Hi Barbara,

Sounds like you and your husband have the essentials for successful survival:

* sense of humor
* good relationship
* awareness of the general situation
* mental flexibility
* willingness to learn new skills

I don't remember whether you mentioned the other essentials:

* good $ sense (not deep in debt, not slave to the consumer culture)
* relationships with friends, family and neighbors

I'm a minority viewpoint on peakoil.com, apparently, but I think that survivalist preparations are mostly a waste of time for Peak Oil. The real problems will be economic and political.

I'm skeptical because I saw the same survivalist hysteria several times in my lifetime. During the 50s, many thousands of American families built fallout shelters in their backyards in case of nuclear war with the Russians. Later in the 70s, the fear of Revolution or Repression or financial collapse drove many people into survivalism.

It's the same pattern. People hear about a complicated social problem which evokes primal fears. Because the problem seems out of one's control, the anxiety rises into panic and hysteria. The fear is displaced onto something that CAN be controlled -- namely, preparing for a short-term disaster (water, medical supplies, security, dried food). Preparing for a disaster is not a bad idea, it's just irrelevant for a profound social change like Peak Oil.

Who knows? Survivalism can prod people to do things that are good to do anyway. It's good to be prepared for disasters. It's good to know how to garden. It's good to pay off one's debts.

The main thing is not to let survivalism warp your life. Good marriages are hard to find -- don't let survivalism disrupt yours!

My wife had no problem accepting the idea of Peak Oil. She just doesn't feel the sense of urgency that I do.

But this is our usual pattern. I feel urgent, she doesn't, eventually we work it out. She has kept me on a stable course, when I tend to zig and zag.

My urgency expresses itself through writing, research and activism. She keeps me eating regularly, maintaining relationships with friends and family, and paying the bills. I couldn't live without her.

[BabyPeanut]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('bart', 'I')'m a minority viewpoint on peakoil.com, apparently, but I think that survivalist preparations are mostly a waste of time for Peak Oil. The real problems will be economic and political.

[Jake_old]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('', 'W')ho knows? Survivalism can prod people to do things that are good to do anyway.

[Barbara]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('', ' ')My urgency expresses itself through writing, research and activism. She keeps me eating regularly, maintaining relationships with friends and family, and paying the bills. I couldn't live without her.

[bart]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('Barbara', ' ')hubby would LOVE [every] single word of your post

[medicvet]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('', 'G')ardening is something to persue even IF peak oil was never an issue. It is good to get out in the sunshine and learn to grow your own fruits and vegetables. Learn to do one thing under the guise of another. Other plans, like storing foods effectively, first aid implements, etc. are even more important, as we've had the events in New Orleans exposed as truth..the government, whether municipal, State, or Federal doesn't care about your hide. You and yours better!

[fossil_fuel]

this kind of thing makes me happy i learned about PO at 17. i would never get into a relationship with someone who didn't share my views about PO, it would be a huge liability.

[AmericanEmpire]

Sometimes I feel its absolutley hopless to get my wife to become a peak oil convert. She just doesn't want to listen. I think she is a consumerholic.

I have cut back on my consumption of items and spending less money overall on things, but she doesn't want to. Like today she is off work so she has went out with my mother in law on a shopping spree. Probably to buy a bunch of worthless shit that will just clutter the place or get thrown out in the garbage latter anyway.

Its really hard dealing with this when the only people that will listen to you are on a message board. My family, friends, wife don't want to listen.

Maybe I'm wrong and I should just give up trying to talk to her or anyone else about it and let her enjoy doing what she wants to do, while she can do it. But I feel she is gonna drag me down with her. What am I to do?

It just seems like it would be so much better if I had a wife who wanted to go back to living a pioneer lifestyle. All you people on this board who have your wifes on board with you are lucky.

[FoxV]

My wife is not an actual convert and part of the "We'll think of something" crowd. She only really listens to me about PO with strained tolerance.

What has gotten her on board about my PO preperations is that she agrees with getting rid of our debts and building up savings. So perhaps you can find a life style change your wife does agree with and work that angle.

unfortunately the economic crisis is imminent and I think just letting her continue on wasting money is a bad idea. You should prepare while you have the resources to do so. However cutting a spouse off of a shopping spree habit could create some VERY SERIOUS withdrawal pains

Tread lightly and good luck

[threadbear]

If you don't have children, and you're young, for God's sakes, don't waste your time on someone who isn't on the same wave length. Peak oil is a symbolic issue that illuminates character differences or character deficits that will wear you/her down over time. Peak oil aside, the US is heading toward an economic meltdown, or at best, a severe downturn. Do you want to be with someone who worships at the altar of Consumerism? Leave them on their knees and strike out on your own! I've caught terrific flack for posting this way in the past, and I don't particularly care.

Ask yourself this question, and you know in your heart if it's true or not. Would your wife be willing to stick with you through thick and thin, if you served no useful purpose? If not, the answer to the problem seems obvious to me.

[OneLoneClone]

I can see why you got some flak.

Some people still take marraige vows seriously (I know its hard to believe).

But apply your own logic: are you sticking with her through thich and thin...maybe this is just the hard part before real world events convince her. Maybe her skepticism will help temper your fears. Maybe she is usefull as a devils advocate. If you shacked up with a 'doomer' perhaps you would just amplify each others fears.

Are you sure you want to give up on someone who loves you just so you can prepare for a sh*tstorm that might be a decade away?

My wife is not convinced that peak oil will be a catastrophe, but I have convinced her that a recession is coming. Because we live in San Francisco I can explain away a lot of purchases as "earthquake preparedness', especially after Katrina.

Anyway, good luck to you and the missus.

edited for typos