[Outcast_Searcher]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('SeaGypsy', '
')Death is perhaps the most interesting topic in life, and the one most studiously avoided.

[SeaGypsy]

So true OS; good palliative care is a chance to get many things in order. Our ability to war on pain is much more advanced than our ability to fight cancer.

I have had palliative clients who want to be up and ready for the day at 6.00 am then in bed at 10.00 pm and I have met that need when nobody else would. The rewards were immeasurable for me, plus the pay wasn't bad either, with overtime etc.

My experience mirrors yours in seeing a whole different side to the medical profession, in the palliative care teams in outpatient care support. It's a side most of us never want to see or even acknowledge, but it exists and is a wonderful thing when the time comes.

[Ibon]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('Quinny', 'D')espite all our differences there are some pretty decent people hang around here.

[Narz]

My condolences Mike.

My best friend died (suicide) when I was 25 and I still think about it regularly & sometimes have dreams where I "discover" he is still alive & spend the course of the dream trying to save him.

My father died last year, I'm not very close to him though & it didn't affect me much. I respect my father in some ways but I detached many years ago so my reaction when it happened was minimal. That's a tragedy in & of itself but it is what it is. Maybe sometime I'll have a cathartic cleansing experience & be able to truly mourn for him & forgive him, maybe not.

Death sucks, I can see why people get caught up in the whole Singularitarianism n' stuff.

[WildRose]

I'm very sorry for your loss, steam_cannon. It must have been so difficult for you watching her decline. She sounds like such a wonderful, courageous and generous soul. I can only hope that I will have some of those qualities if ever in a similar situation. I'm happy for you, though, that you were with her when she passed and that you had as good a goodbye as you did under the circumstances.

Today is the second anniversary of my dad's death. He had COPD for many years, which greatly affected the quality of his life, especially in the last few years and of course the last couple of months. When he went into hospital for the last time, he was fighting death for quite a while and was angry and withdrawn. It was painful visiting him; half the time he just wanted us to cut the visits short and leave him alone. When he accepted that death was not far off, he wanted to come home but it wasn't possible. I visited him twice the day before he died, in the afternoon and the evening, and was the last person in my family to speak with him. He told me he had had a palliative care consultation that afternoon and I thought, finally, he'll have more support, maybe the palliative care specialists will be able to give him more physical comfort and also facilitate him saying some of the things he may have needed to say. I honestly thought he'd be there for weeks longer. I kissed him goodnight, told him I'd see him the next day, and at 6 a.m. the next day received a phone call from a nurse on his unit saying that he had taken a turn for the worse. My mom, all my siblings and my husband and I, got down to the hospital as quickly as possible (none of us more than 10 or 15 minutes from the hospital) but he was already gone when we arrived. We just gathered at his bedside and said quick, tearful goodbyes.

I guess my wish for other people is that they can say the things they need to say to each other, both the dying and those who will be surviving them. For the longest time after Dad died, I could only ruminate about his time in the hospital, his suffering, and what went unsaid.

Tonight, my family are gathering at Mom's for tea, and we'll talk and listen to some of my Dad's favorite music.