Mike Ruppert’s Suicidal Tendencies and Suicide Note

A foray into the seedier barrios of Caracas during a protest was one part journalistic adventure but one bigger part, courting danger. For a hero’s death was devoutly to be wished. Failing that, he’d settle – as happened in the end – for death by any means available. On one occasion, he confessed to having tied his necktie around his neck as part of an effort to hang himself – and you can be sure I would not put forth such an implausible notion if it were not true – from the shower fixture. He said that he didn’t go through with it because he wished to spare his roommate at the time, Carlos Ruiz, the trauma of finding him the next morning.

He finally left Venezuela in November, ending up, after a detour to Canada, at my apartment. But his reprieve from the alien environment that had not welcomed him the way he had dreamed brought only brief respite. For the next fourteen months, he contemplated suicide on an almost daily basis so that whenever I went to work or the grocery store, I made him promise not to kill himself before I came back. His word – his “honor” – mattered to him more than anything so we took it one day at a time, a notion that was familiar to him from AA.

More on this period in due course.

To Jenna Orkin, 9-24-2006
…Every day I long for death because I just don´t see how this current limbo is ever going to end. I just keep waking up and going through motions. I wrote a new article today and start another tomorrow. I do miss the US and especially my loved ones but I know I can´t ever go home. That would betray my moral decision and put my life at greater risk than I feel it is here.
I may wind up being the writer that no country wants. Then what?
Sigh. I´ve been doing the anger thing, especially at those close to me who betrayed me so deeply. That´s what´s really taken the heart out of me…

To colleagues at Fromthewilderness.com, 9-26-2006
…I am flat out of energy, spirit and hope now…
I am ready to die and the only thing I want to know is that I am totally clean with all the people who are FTW.
I saw a great documentary on Socrates last night. They made him drink hemlock because he kept throwing peoplés [sic] bullshit and sloppy thinking in their faces.
Sounds a little familiar. I am not trying to torment or worry any of those who love me and care for me. I am hanging by a thread here. best, Mike

To colleagues regarding plans for dissolution of Fromthewilderness.com and Mike’s possible return to the US, 10-19-2006 :
…anythng I do now will be out of the public eye. Guidance yes, but I need to get offstage for a good long while. That is both a pressure and a drug I need to detox from…
With the push of a button [referring to the ‘send’ key] the world leaves my shoulders.

Recipients unrecorded, 10-19-2006 21:32
…The bridge is still calling. I say that not to threaten or pressure. I share it just to get it out of my head. I have had two close suicides and the breakup of an engagement in less than three years. Only now am I coming to grips with all of that and much more…

Mike’s suicide note is available here.

Below is a copy of the last e-mail MCR sent, to Jack Marin, Mike’s friend and property owner of where Mike was staying, and also the man who found MCR’s body. The e-mail address displayed for MCR was his private e-mail address. The message is authentic:

Wes

17 Comments on "Mike Ruppert’s Suicidal Tendencies and Suicide Note"

paulo1 on Thu, 17th Apr 2014 1:51 am 



Somebody posted earlier that to dwell in the doomer land, non-stop, is to court disaster and is in effect a wasted life.

I agree. Many of us believe things are on a knife edge of disaster. I believe that unless there is some real and rapid change there will be some terrific problems. However, it doesn’t change the fact that I enjoyed supper with my wife tonight. It does not impact our lifestyle beyond preps, gardening, etc. In other words, I still plan to get the boat ready for fishing season. We are still arranging family events and visit dates.

Depression is a mental illness and there is invervention therapy for it, including anti-depressents. His death was needless and a waste. I hope others will not emulate it.

If others feel such despair, go see a GP and they will refer you to someone who can help.

Paulo

Makati1 on Thu, 17th Apr 2014 2:48 am 



Prepare as best you can for the future and then enjoy the present. Dwelling on the negative is to court death either by suicide or by poor health. The videos I have watched showed me a man in deep trouble with himself.

Plantagenet on Thu, 17th Apr 2014 3:05 am 



While he was right on peak oil, much of the other writing Mr. Ruppert did about 9/11, Fukushima, Venezuela, imminent collapse etc. has proven to be mostly non-factual. It must have been depressing for him.

M_B_S on Thu, 17th Apr 2014 7:39 am 



Read Chapter 6 “Crossing the Rubicon” and you understand the “Ukraine Project”.

Actual the CIA boss meets the Kiev Hunta

But the best weapon is the IWF loan “help”.

The price is the black soil of Ukraine.

M_B_S

Pacman on Thu, 17th Apr 2014 7:47 am 



Slartibartfast:
I think that the chances of finding out what’s actually going on are so absurdly remote that the only thing to do is to say, “Hang the sense of it,” and keep yourself busy.

Hitchhikers guide to the galaxy

ghung on Thu, 17th Apr 2014 1:23 pm 



Most of us have a lot of anger over the predicaments humanity has created for itself and our fellow Earthlings. Ruppert clearly had unresolved anger which begets resentment leading to depression and despair, which seems to be inherent in being a pundit of doom, recycling the anger with each new book or broadcast. In the sense that Mike took the sins of Mankind upon himself, he died something of a martyr, IMO.

I’m careful to not hold on to the anger that arises from being an aware but unwilling participant in my own species’ self-destruction and the destruction of the greater environment. This requires one to act on that anger; an ongoing process of positive responses, discussion, and acceptance. It’s a ‘Serenity Prayer’ thing, and it’s a tough task we set for ourselves to not “let go and let God”, to not bury our heads in the sand like so many that we criticize. I sometimes envy those who can, but know I simply don’t have the capacity to turn away. It is, perhaps, voyeuristic, like watching the latest disaster every night on the evening news, except that this disaster is collective and ongoing,, and includes virtually every living creature on our Planet.

Rather than bargain with it, and having little hope that we can avert this thing, I accept this as just another not-so-extraordinary Darwinian natural process, and adapt accordingly. I,, we, aren’t so exceptional after all, just because we think we are. I can live and die with that.

Davy, Hermann, MO on Thu, 17th Apr 2014 2:31 pm 



G SAID – Rather than bargain with it, and having little hope that we can avert this thing, I accept this as just another not-so-extraordinary Darwinian natural process, and adapt accordingly. I,, we, aren’t so exceptional after all, just because we think we are. I can live and die with that.

G, I echo your inspiring words. I have been a mild doomer since around 2003. I have gone through different stages during this period. At one point I was militant and withdrew completely from society. I went completely offline with no electrical use. This only lasted a short time because my family and friends had a fit. I then went through manic preparedness around the 2008 crisis starting 2006. This was expensive because I made life choices that didn’t payout. Yet, that was a near miss. We were close to global breakdown from an economic “Minsky Moment”. I am now mellow about it all. I accept my coming death. Part of that is just getting old the other part is knowing what we know here. I am enjoying my preparations for a short term life boat and a longer term life boat. Do I think I am safe…NO…but I would like to have a few weeks or months to watch all this unfold before SHTF in my life. I want my family and friends to realize I was right to make preparations and face reality. Will it matter in the end…who knows. Being a doomer is not for everyone. It means facing reality and facing thought of death on a regular basis. It takes watching normal status quo Bau reality in a surrealistic way. I am often fascinated by bau activities like a walk through Walmart. Or a ring highway in a big sh-city. Anyway I can understand how all this could drive you to suicide especially if one ever gets in the position of being disposed then having this reality weigh on one’s mind. Being unemployed and homeless with the knowledge of a collapse coming. G, brought up a good point about Mike. His personality may not have been conducive for the collapse event to be delayed. He was locked into intense intellectual activity relating to collapse. I am lucky I have some money and I am having the time of my life prepping for a post carbon life I will enjoy with or without a collapse. Yet, I feel pain when I think about my 6 year old boys futures. I see their happiness and playfulness then I think about what they will face if they are lucky to hit my age! That is the worst part of all this.

ghung on Thu, 17th Apr 2014 2:58 pm 



One wonders if we aren’t projecting our own sense of mortality on the world at large. Plenty of reasons for doing that these days, but it’s best to keep walking the walk… and to walk softly.

“I think about all of us walking our own Green Mile, each in our own time. But one thought, more than any other, keeps me awake most nights…

… We each owe a death, there are no exceptions, but sometimes, oh God, the Green Mile is so long…”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_YbVsEhNuT0

Northwest Resident on Thu, 17th Apr 2014 6:31 pm 



Well, looks like I was wrong about Rupert’s suicide. I first thought that he must be suffering from some kind of terminal health issue, not from depression. But reading more on his suicide since then, it is obvious that Rupert was a very depressed and angry man who unfortunately wasn’t able to find a way out of the deep pit of negative emotion that he found himself in. IMO, his depression and anger had nothing to do with his “doomer” status — millions of others not even aware of the approaching energy/economic crises also find themselves suffering from severe depression and end up committing suicide. I do not believe that dwelling on “doomer-related” issues leads to depression, necessarily. I am what others might think of as a “full retard doomer”, but I am happy, healthy and gainfully employed in a job that I happen to really enjoy. I accept that humanity is about to self-destruct. That’s not my fault or any one person’s fault, it is the fault of nature and evolution — the same premordial drive that causes bacteria to rapidly consume all available energy in their vicinity is the same premordial drive that causes humans to do the same. This version of humanity may be as good as dead, but I truly believe that a better future awaits, dependent on those of us who are strong physically and morally and who persist and persevere, determined to build a better future with perhaps a more enlightened collective attitude toward nature and our own place in this universe. Rupert could have used a little optimism to counterbalance his doomerism, but that would be true for any clinically depressed individual.

Bob on Fri, 18th Apr 2014 12:47 am 



So assuming mental illness or whatever you want to call it, what meds was he on?

Was he taking them? Did he stop taking them?

Enquiring minds want to know…

Welch on Fri, 18th Apr 2014 1:16 am 



“Depression is a mental illness and there is invervention therapy for it, including anti-depressents. His death was needless and a waste.”

So true Paulo.

Roman on Fri, 18th Apr 2014 1:46 am 



Live in peace Ruppert.

Anna on Mon, 21st Apr 2014 6:25 pm 



Stop glorifying his suicide. And don’t call yourselves his friends. You’re merely enablers who figured he was the best coat-tail you all had.

The medicine he need to heal was the humility to apologize to all those who gave him the stories that put him on the map… and there were only a few of them, the big ones. These people, he inevitably crapped all over, and later wrote it off to being more “Socratic” than Socrates, basically so smarter than everyone else.

Ruppert did not pay all his debts. Most of those he owed, he owed so much, they realized he would never be good for it, and they moved on. If you look carefully you’ll realize that he was merely bombast in an empty suit, always the LA Cop. Upon his come-uppance, he just looked lost, behaving like a need child for the rest of his life.

All those insinuating it was OK for HIM to commit suicide are sending a horrific message to kids, to war veterans to all those who travel this planet and face the exact same things he did. Except they have the grace to own up.

There’s Socrates, and then there’s gratuitous rudeness, unspeakable insults, there’s jealousy, there’s stealing and lying and refusing to set the record straight after lying in print, and so much more. He took the coward’s way out and set a horrific example.

Those who gave him his best data, who literally wrote and corrected his English, put it together for him to understand when he didn’t get it, and did most of the work for him, you don’t hear from them now, do you.

There’s no crowing in any of this, there’s a serious lesson, make sure YOU learn it well and stop his habit insulting others for a living.

For most of those who were cut short or cut apart by Ruppert there’s only the frustration he did not end up making things right before he took the coward’s way out.

Margarine ThatchedCottage on Tue, 22nd Apr 2014 12:14 am 



Ironically, “Coward’s way out” is an insult, Anna.

There is beauty in every moment. Stay alive folks!

Anna on Tue, 22nd Apr 2014 6:59 pm 



Margarine ThatchedCottage on Tue, 22nd Apr 2014 12:14 am wrote: Ironically, “Coward’s way out” is an insult, Anna.
Reply:
“Scornful abuse” is for those who take advantage of others for monetary gain and self-aggrandizement, while taking advantage of others.

I call his suicide cowardly – and that description of suicide is a generally accepted principle by millions worldwide. Hardly an insult. Suicide is also prohibited by Buddhism of which Ruppert was so fond to refer to himself as a leading expert and better-than-you practitioner. Very bad karma to drink from that poisoned cup. Hence coward’s way out. For all those experts who actually do Buddhist death rituals and follow the spirit after a suicide, it is known that immediately there is always regret.

Too bad none of his cult knows what specifically to do about that now, nor for how long. Now, that’s ironic.

More irony? Too bad Ruppert claimed publicly to be closely communicating with and counseling Gary Webb during the time Ruppert himself was suicidal, right up to the time of Webb’s controversial demise.

Let me say it again: Ruppert was a coward for taking his life. Moreover, he was the quintessential spoiled brat mooching off others in so many ways, and all in that quasi-cult he had going were enablers.

Interesting who they are those that excuse his reprehensible predilections for the worst in a man. Interesting they are mostly females too.

Ruppert was known to drive those he worked with way before 2006 to the brink. He still had that dog-kicking penchant in his veins.

The real reason he ended up in Calistoga? Ha. Good luck finding that out, Thatched Cottage.

MILINT Earth Day Clerk: Lara on Fri, 25th Apr 2014 5:15 pm 



“You cannot allow any of your people to avoid the brutal — War-is-Peace: War is a ‘Masonic Breeding Slaves & Cannon Fodder Fertility Religion 4 Human sacrifice and Profit’ Racket — facts. If they start living in a dream world, it’s going to be bad.” — USMC-WiP: Smedley Butler & James Mattis

USMC: SButler & JMattis: WiP Michael Ruppert Suicide
http://tiny.cc/USMC-MCR-WiPSuic1d3

Huntergatherer on Sun, 27th Apr 2014 2:59 pm 



Anna, thank you. You are so right. I hope a few more people who knew that awful, lying, nasty man might help to bring out the truth about him..

From the point of view of an amateur anthropologist it is quite fascinating to see how the cult around him is reacting to his death, as if he was some sort of a fucking saint.