Gas bills throw cold water on way of life

My house is a walk-in freezer, so bundle up

NORTH CAROLINA – Over the recent holidays, nobody enjoyed roasting their chestnuts on an open fire more than I did. But it turns out those were expensive nuts. You see, I have a gas fireplace.

I recently received my holiday natural gas bill. Those two wicked Caribbean sisters, Katrina and Rita, pummeled not only oil refineries on the Gulf Coast last fall but my winter budget as well.

Oh sure, I received a pleasant letter from my gas company suggesting possible price increases, but they didn’t mention anything about me getting a second job!

I have two gas furnaces, gas logs, gas grill, gas water heater, gas dryer and gas stove. Those aren’t Angela’s ashes spewing from my chimney; they’re Ben Franklin’s. When all my gas appliances are cranked up and billowing steam into the atmosphere, from space my house must leave the heat signature of a nuclear power plant.

Charlotte Observer