Dearly departed encouraged to do their bit on global warming

The dead in the jurisdiction of Tameside Council are simply not pulling their weight. The council has now arrived at a rather daring solution.

The issue was first noted as officers pondered the problems of Dukinfield Crematorium. The crematorium needed heating when mourners went to commit their beloved to the flames. It was also obliged to use less energy.

Was there not an elegant solution to both problems, that at a stroke would make the building warm and cosy and reduce its carbon footprint?

The officers dared to think the unthinkable. They proposed that heat from the burning bodies could be recaptured and used to power the boiler and the chapel