by Guest » Fri 28 Oct 2005, 00:33:37
hi, i'm 31, and my 'shift' button doesn't work, so t here will be no capitalization in this reply.
funny thing was, i saw it coming. this piece of crap kickaround laptop is perfect for throwing in a backpack and getting in some coffee-house wifi because its a couple of years old and i got it for free. it's true- it was sitting in its carrying case on top of an old sofa in front of a house that had been recently vacated by its tenants. it had a busted screen, and i was able to power it up. over time i've spent about 200 dollars on a new screen, some decent used batteries, a wi-fi card, and a 'new' used keyboard.
its a dell inspiron 3800 and it sold for nearly 2000 dollars in late 2000. i was able to piece together a picture of the person that owned it, and the person that bought it by analysing the contents of the hard drive and oem sales literature which was conveniently stuffed inside the carrying case.
it seems a young woman was off to college in a new state across the country. evidently she 'needed' a laptop- which was purchased for her by her father, who paid the full retail price, even kicking in for a bigger 15 inch screen, which at some point between 2000 and 2004 was smashed in a manner that suggests a sudden bout of frustration and a straight punch at the middle of the screen.
an examination of the hard drive revealed an intact installation of windows 98, and very little in the way of 'intellectual property' save for an account with america online. her default username and password were still retained by aol's software, so i was able to access her aol email.
it seems that she was a young woman who quite confused. a series of letters back and forth between her and a young man... the details were typical and boring. what could be extracted from these exchanges is that she had at one time abused cocaine. it wasn't clear that it was the cause of the end of the relationship, as there were other factors suggested by some english class self-analysis essays where she went on about doubting her own sexuality and there were other emails suggesting a blossoming realization of her sexual feelings toward certain parties of the same gender.
anyway, at some point, daddy's little girl snorted coke, broke up with a boy who didn't know she was more into girls than boys, entered email into her computer which she honestly felt would never be read by anyone else, and punched the screen with enough force that the glass cracked, and left the whole package on the side of the road in a small college town on puget sound.
your question reminds me of the kinds of questions this whole thing raises...
1. would daddy have done anything differently had he known the computer would eventually be junk...
2. did daddy's little girl know in 2000 that by 2004 she would be a full blown homosexual...
3. did dell technical support know the laptop would not likely last past 2001 and curtail their warranty offer...
i guess the whole point is the world is full of reasonable expectations. it will rain tomorrow, a new car or laptop eventually gets old and decrepit, we will as people change and adapt to ourselves and out environments.
certainly it is as obvious to any reasonable person that oil is a finite resource whose availability will eventually disappear, in the same way as when i eat sausage, it will eventually be digested and i can't 'have' that sausage anymore or at least get anything useful from it.
but the fact is that when i was exploring my twenties, the lead up to that had been the 1980s... there was an oil glut, and frankly i was more worried about global thermonuclear war. at least when oil runs out, there won't be scary things like fallout stemming directly from it. when i was in my twenties, a thing called the internet came out, and bands like nirvana were blowing the doors off pop culture. gasoline was cheap and everyone was going to be a millionare internet startup.
yes, fact of oil depletion's eventuality was still true, but it was abstract. i knew nothing about oil manufacturing, and i was so poor i paid for gas in 5 dollar increments. i thought gulf war 1 was really about wmd, and even thought it was a good idea to attack iraq because the kuwaitis seemed like okay people. hindsight is 20/20.
i could not have even put a finger on when exactly the oil was supposed to run out... but it was within the range 2005-2025... roughly all the predictions from the eia and top peakers... so i didn't have bad information, it was just that the information was abstract to the point of uselessness.
what could i have done about it even if i perceived a problem... i was still struggling toward adulthood and trying to get laid and stoned... to me, global thermonuclear war was still the big kahuna, the problem that ultimately had the power to doom us all. so what if we ran out of gasoline...
i guess what it all boils down to is this... if a problem is abstract, why should we care. the sane thing to do is descend staircases in a relaxed and easy manner. the possibility of misstep and breaking our necks falling to the bottom is a real possibility, but it is abstract. after all, i am in perfect health.
health itself is an assumption that most of us realize we can take for granted even though we know it will not last forever. certainly for most people i see every day their own health is the furthest thing from their minds even as i see physical decay creeping in at the edges, diminished capability. how is it that i will make the decision not to smoke, or eat poorly, or not exercise, when so many around me take such behavior as the norm...
could it be that throat cancer, limited mobility, and a poorer quality of life are predictable but clearly abstract probabilities in light of the enthralling preoccupations of the now....
only someone who had throat cancer can actually appreciate being able to draw a breath effortlessly.
so in an era of human history where you would have to look hard to find a place to be where there wasn't ever-growing amounts of energy or sources of energy, youre going to have to look even harder to find someone who actually appreciates being able to use just a little energy...
i really dont think people are going to confront the issue until it is no longer abstract. that is, when they wake up in the morning and realize they had to walk home last night at 7 because the lincoln navigator ran out of gas coming home from work and there were no spare tow trucks to come haul it home, and how the hell am i going to get to work in the morning, etc.
so anyway, to wrap up- what was i thinking...
i was thinking i could run the country a hell of a lot better than anyone that was currently running it. i knew that the people at the top were crooks and everyone underneath the pig-pile were trapped in the system, and forced to slap their own faces, in the way an older brother will sit on your chest and pin your arms at your side and make you slap your own face.
i was also thinking about a girl i would someday meet that would be 'right' for me and everything would be great because she would totally accept me for who i was, as i would accept her totally, and then we might have children or something.
i also thought the world would recognize the quality of my abilities and reward my contributions out of hand with money and fame.
thanks for the thought-provoking question... i've enjoyed answering it.