So, I'm studying to be a respiratory therapist. Today was my last clinical day of a shortened 8-week summer semester. Things had started out well enough, but then towards the half-way point they started to go south.
It's a middle-sized hospital with two, approx. twenty bed critical care units. The area is relatively low-crime, so during the summer months the units aren't too busy. There were usually no more than 2-3 ventilators running at a time. Despite this fact, the hospital had decided to take on six students. It's not really conducive to the learning process when an instructor is teaching 2-3 students every rotation. In addition, the hospital clinical instructor (CI) didn't show up to our school's info meeting prior to the start date. When we showed up our first day, they didn't even know we were supposed to be there.
This CI is a real piece of work. Very smart and good at her job, I'll admit. However, she's a very alpha female/mother hen type. All of the students who have been hired in the past couple years seem to be best buddies of hers. And, despite their lack of tenure, all have the premo 7a-3p shift that's usually left for the more experienced crowd.
Anyhoo, my fellow students just flat out didn't know their stuff. Simple as that. The therapist we followed for the first couple weeks also didn't have any qualms about telling them. She also didn't mind telling me that I did and was good enough to advance from the general med/surg floors to the critical care units. Oh, and she also had no problem talking about our performances to two other classmates of ours who were hired last semester.
Needless to say, this created some tension. They didn't like hearing how bad they were and how good I was, and I just didn't feel comfortable receiving praise like that right in front of them. I also was pretty pissed off about the fact that out performance was being discussed with other our classmates. The only reason for that was to create some gossip among young women.
So here I was caught the middle. On one hand, I was aggravated by the performance of my three other clinical partners for just not being up to snuff. It makes us all look bad. I had to shut my mouth to give them time to answer questions. When they dropped the ball, I would respond. It wasn't as if I popped in immediately or interrupted anyone We can't all look like idiots.
On the other hand, I was quite angry about both the lack professionalism and preparedness by the clinical site and CI. We were made to felt like we were bothering because they didn't have enough for us to do, even though they agreed to take on SIX students.
The CI's input in our education there was also woefully inadequate. She only spent three days out of fifteen with us. On the days she wasn't with us we were often dumped off to one of her friends, most of whom had only graduated a year ago.
All the negativity kind of rubbed off on me and I became frustrated and distant. I wasn't impolite to any staff or patients, but I became increasingly intolerant when it came to listening to boring ass stories about boyfriends and husbands. I more or less just shut down sociable me.
It was only several weeks ago that the head of the respiratory department had said she was interested in hiring me. I had really knocked it out of the park in only a couple weeks. Then, this whole clusterfuck really came to a head, and it never really came up anymore. I left the joint today with no job, perfect score in my evaluation book, and my head sunk in defeat.
In all honesty, even with all the shit that went on, it is a really good hospital with some progressive protocol in place for the respiratory department. It would have been an awesome opportunity for me as a student. But, I guess I fell just short on this one.
I really wanted to unload on my CI at the end of the day about her general disinterest in us but I was just too exhausted.
I guess it's just pains of being an adult. Still hurts pretty bad though. I guess it's back to the grocery store for the time being.
