Solitary Crow On Fence Post Portending Doom, Analysts Warn
$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('', 'G')REELEY, NE—Experts confirmed Monday that a single black crow perched ominously on a fence post in rural Nebraska is almost certainly a harbinger of great doom and despair for all Americans.
The crow came eerily to rest on the rickety wooden post at 10:26 a.m. Monday, according to farm hands working in a nearby field at the time. Citing a vague but certain feeling that "something just wasn't right," one of the laborers contacted law enforcement officials, and within hours federal authorities had converged on the site.
By late afternoon, sources in the Pentagon had received intelligence corroborating their suspicions that the crow is in fact a dark omen foretelling widespread economic ruin, famine, pestilence, and perhaps even the total collapse of the national infrastructure.
