[threadbear]

She wouldn't make eye contact. Hmmm...could be shy, disinterested. If you were eating Mexican, it could have been the typical fart stifling expression.

[Pretorian]

Why not just stay gay?

[shakespear1]

Heineken

Spend a little time checking out NLP. It WILL allow you to better understand what is happening in your and others heads. With this is information you can approach the "date" situation better and I am convinced more calmly.

Knowledge is Power !!!!

[davep]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('shakespear1', 'H')eineken

Spend a little time checking out NLP. It WILL allow you to better understand what is happening in your and others heads. With this is information you can approach the "date" situation better and I am convinced more calmly.

Knowledge is Power !!!!

[Heineken]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('dunewalker', 'H')eineken, you may have come across a bit too intensely for her. Next time, try to relax more, at least pretend that it's just a lunch, or whatever, not an interview.

[Heineken]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('dinopello', '')$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('Heineken', ' ')I couldn't quite get her to share my intellectual excitement in various concepts.

[Heineken]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('mos6507', '')$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('dunewalker', 'H')eineken, you may have come across a bit too intensely for her. Next time, try to relax more, at least pretend that it's just a lunch, or whatever, not an interview.

[Ludi]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('Heineken', '
')What does that mean, when they look away? Is that good or bad?

[Heineken]

I'm still trying to decide if I enjoyed the experience, Ludi. It had a good component (possibly generic; it was just a nice, superego-stroking change taking a woman out to dinner) and a slightly unsettling, uneasy component.

I was disappointed overall because I'd been hoping, praying, for a stronger sense of connection.

We did discuss a second date and she was favorable to that. But I don't know if I am.

[Byron100]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('Heineken', 'I') had a date tonight with a rather attractive woman.

However, throughout most of the meal I had trouble meeting her eyes. She was always looking away---out the window, down at the table, off to one side, into her cell phone. I was able to engage her in a reasonable level of conversation, though, although I couldn't quite get her to share my intellectual excitement in various concepts.

What does that mean, when they look away? Is that good or bad?

[Ludi]

I would give her another chance, if I were you. Just as an example by comparison, I was acquainted with my husband for years on and off, on a very casual basis, (we worked at the same shop a couple times, and lived in the same neighborhood) until Fate finally threw us at each other often enough for us to go "oh! that's the person I should be with!"

Not saying YOU should take years to decide about a specific person, of course!

[Heineken]

Thanks Byron, Ludi, et al. for your wise observations.

No Byron, she didn't probe much into my past, which in a way I kind of like. It wasn't a job-interview type of date at all. She seems to operate in the here and now.

I was bold and actually mentioned the "wandering eyes" matter to her and she admitted she was nervous. The fact that she accepted and responded to this criticism scores points with me.

She agreed to do "exercise walking" with me.

I told her she's beautiful (she has a gorgeous face) and she said she's never thought of herself that way.

Maybe she's lost and needs to be found, and guided. I'm definitely the man for that.

I am going to give it another try. We're discussing the where and when of our next date. Unfortunately this is Valentine's Day weekend so lines will be out the door.

[dunewalker]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('Heineken', 'T')hanks Byron, Ludi, et al. for your wise observations.

No Byron, she didn't probe much into my past, which in a way I kind of like. It wasn't a job-interview type of date at all. She seems to operate in the here and now.

I was bold and actually mentioned the "wandering eyes" matter to her and she admitted she was nervous. The fact that she accepted and responded to this criticism scores points with me.

She agreed to do "exercise walking" with me.

I told her she's beautiful (she has a gorgeous face) and she said she's never thought of herself that way.

Maybe she's lost and needs to be found, and guided. I'm definitely the man for that.

I am going to give it another try. We're discussing the where and when of our next date. Unfortunately this is Valentine's Day weekend so lines will be out the door.

[davep]

You could invite her round to your place, ostensibly for a romatic meal, and get her to help you splitting firewood. That'll give you a good idea of her suitability.

davep is not a qualified relationship counsellor

[Micki]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('Heineken', 'T')hanks Byron, Ludi, et al. for your wise observations.

No Byron, she didn't probe much into my past, which in a way I kind of like. It wasn't a job-interview type of date at all. She seems to operate in the here and now.

I was bold and actually mentioned the "wandering eyes" matter to her and she admitted she was nervous. The fact that she accepted and responded to this criticism scores points with me.

She agreed to do "exercise walking" with me.

I told her she's beautiful (she has a gorgeous face) and she said she's never thought of herself that way.

Maybe she's lost and needs to be found, and guided. I'm definitely the man for that.

I am going to give it another try. We're discussing the where and when of our next date. Unfortunately this is Valentine's Day weekend so lines will be out the door.

[blukatzen]

I've been reading this thread along (date part) and I am most thrilled for you! I think the situation is she may be a little nervous.

Let's put yourself in her place, being a Katrina implant. She's maybe (outside of work) not met many folks she'd be willing to befriend or met a few jerk guys here and there, and has resolved herself to a similar fate as you'd described for yourself.

I think if she's a built a little bit of winter weight on her bones, then a steady diet of walking, and gardening can get that weight off steadily (which is how it should be done anyways.) Just focus on her beautiful face!

Keep it simple, keep it "friendly", like you'd treat a special friend from here, or a valued co-worker, and see where it takes you.

If it isn't a "love match", it may be the start of a nice friendship, why put limiters on it right off the start? Friends are good too, and you had commented that you'd had none there either.

In the meantime, we're here for you, walking alongside.

Good luck with your new friend!

Blu

[Ludi]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('Micki', '
')Just remember the more "friends" you become the harder it will be to go further from there..

[WildRose]

I like dunewalker's suggestion of an outdoors date. It doesn't have to be really vigorous (like a hike), unless she's into that, of course. Even a good walk through a nice park or along a river bank? Then you could stop at a restaurant/lounge type of place (a little less formal) later in the evening (beating the Valentine's dinner rush).

Hubby and I had a great second date - a walk through a beautiful city park, late into the evening, plenty of good conversation sitting on a park bench, sharing our thoughts and experiences under the stars. It's still one of our favorite ways to spend time together.

[Micki]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('Ludi', '')$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('Micki', '
')Just remember the more "friends" you become the harder it will be to go further from there..

[Ludi]

Oh, ok. Well, I wouldn't know.

<<<<< married 17 years to my best friend ever.