Best Break-Up Lines

by **bratticus** » Wed 31 Dec 2008, 08:53:07

Why not share yours here?

I'll go first:
[flash width=425 height=344]http://www.youtube.com/v/LByhqYmj8S8[/flash]

by **Quinny** » Wed 31 Dec 2008, 09:02:05

Did anybody tell you your sister is better in bed than you.

by **Ferretlover** » Wed 31 Dec 2008, 09:31:25

The mature adult way to do it: The truth, told with kindness and respect.

by **SpringCreekFarm** » Wed 31 Dec 2008, 10:34:23

This is not so much a line but a sequence of events.

I once lived with a woman that was a little older than me who had 2 teenagers and a 5 year old. She had a hard time making ends meet so I moved in and it was hell on earth. Her older kids hated me while her younger one loved me. I fought with the 17 year old son constantly and the 15 year old daughter ended up moving out to live with grandma.

One day I came home with a few hundred dollars worth of groceries as I a did all the time. When I went for the smooch at the kitchen sink ( I'm an affectionate sucker ) I was given the cold shoulder and was told to just put the groceries away and stay out of her way because she was making a cake for her son's 18th birthday and since "I hated him" ( I didn't actually ) I just needed to stay out of the way.

Hmmmmm.......

Ok so I left everything on the floor, went back to my dad's place and asked to move back in. He welcomed it because prior to moving in with my girlfriend, I was handy to have at his house paying bills and doing chores on the farm. ( I've never mooched and always paid my own way even while living at home )

Several days later, a call on the phone came for me. It was the girlfriend, now ex-girlfriend calling asking what I was doing. I said I've left you. She said she thought I went to the store. I said I just came back from the store and that she was a bitch and that I was finished with her.

That was that.

My best break-up line was to say nothing at all. Just leave.

by **JoeW** » Wed 31 Dec 2008, 12:13:14

"Someone once said that the better-looking the woman, the more trouble she'll give you. You are absolutely beautiful, and I can't deal with it anymore."

by **3aidlillahi** » Wed 31 Dec 2008, 12:21:04

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('', 'I') said I just came back from the store and that she was a bitch and that I was finished with her.

by **perdition79** » Wed 31 Dec 2008, 15:38:11

"It's over. Tuck and roll, baby." The line only works if the passenger door and seatbelt are busted.

by **threadbear** » Wed 31 Dec 2008, 15:43:07

"It's not you, it's me. You're just too good for me!" LOL

by **jasonraymondson** » Wed 31 Dec 2008, 15:45:22

I was dating her for about 3 weeks. She was yammering about something her and her stupid friends did, which as normal, made me want to slit my throat.

I spoke

You bore me

Then I turned around and walked away.

She burst into tears.

I kept walking.

by **Jotapay** » Wed 31 Dec 2008, 16:08:06

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('jasonraymondson', 'I') was dating her for about 3 weeks. She was yammering about something her and her stupid friends did, which as normal, made me want to slit my throat.
I spoke
You bore me
Then I turned around and walked away.
She burst into tears.
I kept walking.

by **eastbay** » Wed 31 Dec 2008, 16:23:19

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('Ferretlover', 'T')he mature adult way to do it: The truth, told with kindness and respect.

by **CarlosFerreira** » Wed 31 Dec 2008, 17:02:59

I just told her "It's over. We don't belong together". Then got her in the car and drove her to her place, 20 miles away. Said goodbye.

Never felt so good in my life.

by **threadbear** » Wed 31 Dec 2008, 18:11:25

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('jasonraymondson', 'I') was dating her for about 3 weeks. She was yammering about something her and her stupid friends did, which as normal, made me want to slit my throat.

I spoke

You bore me

Then I turned around and walked away.

She burst into tears.

I kept walking.

by **CarlosFerreira** » Wed 31 Dec 2008, 19:18:22

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('threadbear', '
')I went out with a guy who was so boring, he could have won awards. Put you to sleep instantly. Not only was he stubbornly and aggressively mundane, he'd "entertain" people with stories about how his "daddy"- used to beat up Indians when he was a cop, and how he and the other cops actually got kind of a kick out of it.

So one night after hearing one too many times, that Pakistani immigrants angered him, I looked at him and said. I'm giving you exactly 30 seconds to say something relevant, and if you don't I'm going to get violent. He chose to sit there, like a deer in headlights, so I aimed my purse square at his head, nailed him and then chased him out of my house and half way down the driveway. I was completely sober, btw. It felt so darned good. :lol:

by **threadbear** » Wed 31 Dec 2008, 19:56:13

I don't mind boring, and I can tolerate someone who is a bigot, up to a point, but boring bigot...no way.

by **cudabachi** » Wed 31 Dec 2008, 22:36:00

An x sister-in-law of mine said a boyfriend of hers once left the house to buy cigarettes and never came back.

by **Jotapay** » Wed 31 Dec 2008, 23:47:24

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('threadbear', '
')So one night after hearing one too many times, that Pakistani immigrants angered him, I looked at him and said. I'm giving you exactly 30 seconds to say something relevant, and if you don't I'm going to get violent. He chose to sit there, like a deer in headlights, so I aimed my purse square at his head, nailed him and then chased him out of my house and half way down the driveway. I was completely sober, btw. It felt so darned good. :lol:

by **bratticus** » Thu 01 Jan 2009, 05:15:57

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('jasonraymondson', 'I') was dating her for about 3 weeks. She was yammering about something her and her stupid friends did, which as normal, made me want to slit my throat.

by **Quinny** » Thu 01 Jan 2009, 05:21:27

I remember taking a girl camping in Wales at Easter which was particularly early that year. I had to dig trenches round the tent to stop the meltwater flooding us during the day. We weren't particularly close but the physical relationship was pretty good.

Woke up in the morning and the girl banged her head on the tent during a passionate moment and a thin film of ice fell off the inside of the tent all over us. It was funny but when I laughed, for some reason she started crying she wanted to go home. I comforted her and said OK.

When I took her to the train station at Bangor, bought her a ticket and put her on the train for some reason she got upset and said "I thought you said we were going home".

"No" I replied "You said you wanted to go home - you're getting what you wanted!"

Her response was "Bastard".

I was genuinely shocked, for some reason those were the last words we spoke.

by **Madpaddy** » Thu 01 Jan 2009, 05:40:01

You'ld have to have been there to appreciate the full impact of the best break up line I have ever witnessed.

A group of us were in a pub - 4 couples. My friend John's girlfriend was particularly clingy (but she was an absolute honey).

Anyway as the night went on, she kept whispering to John to bring her home. He resisted the temptation as there was good craic being had. Eventually, she turned to him and said "John, John, don't you love me John".

His reply: "Love you?, as a matter of fact, I don't even fxxkin like you, now go away home and let me enjoy the night".

Poor girl - that was the end of that.

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