I have my ups and downs. The Peak is with me, everywhere I go. I take it with me to grocery store and wonder about how the variety we see on the shelves will soon begin to vanish while prices rise. I bring it along on trips home, wondering how much longer the airlines will stay in business.
And no matter where I go, it's in the background of my thoughts when I see people: "You are so screwed." Co-workers, patients, acquaintances, family friends, strangers at the shopping center, people sitting in their cars. I hear people talking about their hopes, dreams, upcoming weddings, new babies on the way, houses being built.. and I wonder how they'll all fare. It's an eerie feeling, but I don't want to risk being deemed crazy if I bring-up the topic. So my mouth stays shut.
It also lingers in the back of my mind at work; how long will health care be around to bring me the income I need to prepare? Do I have another 5 years of employment? 10? I know that I'll be cutting things very closely financially, and it's been a huge stress to me lately. I'm gobbling-up all of the overtime I can right now while I can. This is probably
the thing that keeps me up at night.
I don't stress about politics nearly as much as I used to, since most issues pale in comparison to what looms ahead. This is quite dramatic, as I used to obsess over these issues. Electoral map on one wall of the office, key senate race numbers on another wall.. but now gone! While I tend to be in the left-libertarian region, I no longer stress. Obama winning might get me tax credits for solar power.. who knows? Heck, McCain might buy us more time by "liberating" more oil fields! Given the past 8 years, there's no telling. So it's hard to predict or care.
My partner is totally on-board with me for off-grid homesite preparations, but I'm not sure he's as pessimistic as I am. I don't think of myself as particularly 'doomerish,' but I don't see what's coming as merely another Great Depression, which is what he's thinking.
Dad seems very open - his mantra has always been "get independent" - but I'm not sure he sees all implications of the Peak. To be honest, I haven't talked to him at length about what's coming. Still, he's pushing me to go off-grid and become as self-sufficient as possible. He's very vague, but often talks about how "we (civilization) can't keep this up much longer."
Of everyone, I think I worry about Mom most..
(this is the point where I had to stop typing and think. I'm at a loss for words.). I'll just say.. I fear how she's going to take the transition, and I admit, I'm adding some comfort measures for her to my plans. It's what any good mama's boy would do, I guess. (On the plus side: she's going to love living with me again.)
The positives? I'm actually looking forward to a simpler, quieter life. A place in the country - complete with garden, chickens, etc - has always been my wish for retirement, even before I found-out about the Peak. And the morbidly unemotional part of me thinks that this is going to be a fascinating period of history to be living in. A front row seat.. to
this?!? Wow! But through what venue will I watch? Will TV broadcasting survive? How about radio? Internet? I suspect that the answer is 'yes' to all of these, but I don't know the scale to which we'll see each medium reduced.
Given the complexity of what I'm feeling, there's no surprise that I'm rambling. It felt good to get it out though.

Life may be scary, but it's only temporary.