by Schweinshaxe » Sun 18 May 2008, 20:35:03
Dear po.com members,
the reason for my unfortunate (albeit temporary) disappearance from this eminent board was the following:
I had an encounter with a Russian sailor in Copenhagen, Denmark in a restaurant in the evening during a kick-off party with a customer of my employer. I was ensnared in the now so famous “let’s go back to the docks and check out my survival kit” scam. I should have known better but, I have to say to my defence, that I was slightly intoxicated by a glass of white whine (which they served with the halibut in the restaurant) and that the scam was new at that time.
To make a long story short, I blacked out when I saw the Soviet era Makarov PM pistol in the survival kit and don’t remember anything until I woke up in a hospital. Without wallet and my left sock needless to say. My employer then gave me an ultimatum. And that was to get professional help for my obsession with survival kits or to get fired. I begged them on my bare knees to fire me but they sent me to a clinic in Romania where they had previous experience with this kind of mental condition for rehabilitation.
Anyway, where were we before they sent me to rehabilitation?
As far as I can recall, we had the following situation:
A couple of PO-chicks had a crush on me. SBC was purring like a kitten in all posts I was contributing to. Always supporting and understanding, even in the “French Soup” thread incident. Shannymara was a little bit shy at first but I could tell she was admiring me and my sometimes frantic and not always coherent posting from a distance. Poxie-Babe even sent me some bikini pics and an M-14 field manual to get me through the endless discussions with social workers, psychologists and physicians. I’m sad to see though, judging by her sig, that she’s apparently hooked up with some white trash Finnish folk singers…
The 9/11 loonies were raving like there was no tomorrow. Now I don’t see any more posts on this controversial subject. Is the case finally closed here at po.com? After all, we all know that GW did it.
I was trying to introduce Spec to the mysteries of quantum mechanics. To no avail I might add.
I was receiving tips from Aaron, the site owner, on how to move while playing the saxophone. I had some problems with my stance and how to swing the instrument while playing Sail Along Silv’ry Moon. He promised that if I followed his instructions, every middle aged woman in the crowd would “cream their panties”. I’m not sure what he meant by that.
The never-ending metric vs. the imperial system discussions. I got quite a few PMs from several distinguished American members of this board where they promised to write to their congressmen to finally have this issue solved. They also promised to try to rename “soccer” “football”, and the American version to “gay-ball”.
Please feel free to add whatever you think I have forgotten.
Sincerely yours,
Schwein.
Was soll das?