[bodigami]

I won't make this a poll, but think it will be nice to read the opinions of people on this forum that have chosen to not have offspring. I'm undecided, or to be more direct, I won't even consider reproducing unless the die-off starts. So, if human population growth is negative and I think that my offspring can survive with equal or less pain that I've lived, then I may reproduce.

However, on real life I can talk honestly (with all details, talking about the whys, and so on) about the decision to not have offspring with just 1 friend... there's the "having no offspring is an option", "marrying is not for everybody", "there are too many people on this world, why not adopt?" commentaries that are casually said by some of the people I know... but only with that friend I can talk that we will probably live a die-off or "population correction" without being considered crazy or doomer.

[Ludi]

A few reasons:

1. I never wanted kids
2. Plenty of humans on the planet already
3. Serious mental illness in both my family and my husband's, plus other apparently genetic illnesses

[jasonraymondson]

To many children
I am barely responsible enough to take care of me
They are dirty
They Smell
You can't just lock them in cages.
I might get pissed and shake the piss out of them

[hubbertspeak7777777]

1) I have inferior genes.
2) They are too expensive
3)being a parent is too time consuming
4) I can barely take care of myself
5) I have a very short temper

[Lumpy]

I have kids, but because I practice child/adolescent (as well as adult) psychiatry I want to say somthing here.

In a very, very high percentage of my young patients, "the parents are the pathology". I am not saying these are all bad people, or that they are doing bad things to mess up their kids on purpose -- at least not most of them. But these are often people who had kids without thinking it through at all, like most people seem to do. And, unfortunately, these particular people are those who most especially should have thought it through, then gotten some help to at least work through their own personal issues before "issuing forth" with the offspring ... who end up paying some big-time prices.

So to anyone who says, "I don't think I want to have kids", I say,
"Don't do it!! And if you change your mind later, make sure that you have worked out your own 'stuff' before you do reproduce."

Lumpy

[BigTex]

The decision not to have kids is reasonable. If people don't want to reproduce, then that's their decision.

I have kids and it's an amazing experience. I feel it has provided me with a more complete life experience (and will continue to do so).

But I'm fine with people who don't want to. Whatever they think is going to work best for them.

The one thing I think no one should do is get freaked out about peak oil and use that as a reason not to have children. That's probably not a wise thing to do. Most of "peak oil" resides between your ears, since we are really just gaming what the future will look like. No one really knows what the future holds, though.

Having one child isn't going to cause the state of overshoot to be so much worse that a person who wants to be a parent shouldn't do it.

And who knows, that one child might be the peak oil equivalent of John Connor--resource depletion prophet and zombie slayer.

[bodigami]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('Lumpy', '(')...)
So to anyone who says, "I don't think I want to have kids", I say,
"Don't do it!! And if you change your mind later, make sure that you have worked out your own 'stuff' before you do reproduce."

Lumpy

[bodigami]

BigTex, yeah... I understand what your saying, but it's much more complex than that, at least for me. I've prefered to be alone for most of my life, lately I've talked more with my friends... but most of my daily activities are done alone, and I like it. And there's also age, I've 22... I can postpone some years reproducing after "the waters are cleared".

And I want to be a friend first, to who can be the mother of my kids. Also, most girl friends I have are (only) friends... and I value friendship a lot. I'm starting to know a girl, but I'm confused of what we really are... I don't know if we're flirting but very subtly (the last time I saw her, she told me about her boyfriend! but all past times there were some stares, smiles... that I'm not "used to in 'only' friends")... I don't know, I lost a friend because sex got in the way. But this time is different; I don't know how this may sound, but I'm willing to wait until this girl has no boyfriend while starting a friendship but being totally happy with no anxiety...

...and I'm laughing my way out of my life's ironies. 1 ex(girl)friend was lost because I didn't wanted to be her boyfriend, 1 heterosexual (girl)friend has kissed more girls than I, 1 (girl)friend told me many times that she wanted to marry me (but she has a boyfriend, and it was said with another meaning... that I not fully "get")... and this new (girl)friend... why I'm laughing my way out of this situation? Why I'm willing to keep talking to her while knowing that probably we will never be "more than friends" (but for me, ally>friend>girlfriend)?

...I guess I'm "too young to fall in love"...

[Grifter]

zensui get to having sex with these friends man, otherwise some wanker will come along and take the one you really want.

on the offspring front I doubt very much that it is a logical decision one way or the other for anyone. It is an instinctive drive that we try to put reasoning to.

Personally, I just haven't met the right girl yet

[BigTex]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('zensui', 'B')igTex, yeah... I understand what your saying, but it's much more complex than that, at least for me. I've prefered to be alone for most of my life, lately I've talked more with my friends... but most of my daily activities are done alone, and I like it. And there's also age, I've 22... I can postpone some years reproducing after "the waters are cleared".

And I want to be a friend first, to who can be the mother of my kids. Also, most girl friends I have are (only) friends... and I value friendship a lot. I'm starting to know a girl, but I'm confused of what we really are... I don't know if we're flirting but very subtly (the last time I saw her, she told me about her boyfriend! but all past times there were some stares, smiles... that I'm not "used to in 'only' friends")... I don't know, I lost a friend because sex got in the way. But this time is different; I don't know how this may sound, but I'm willing to wait until this girl has no boyfriend while starting a friendship but being totally happy with no anxiety...

...and I'm laughing my way out of my life's ironies. 1 ex(girl)friend was lost because I didn't wanted to be her boyfriend, 1 heterosexual (girl)friend has kissed more girls than I, 1 (girl)friend told me many times that she wanted to marry me (but she has a boyfriend, and it was said with another meaning... that I not fully "get")... and this new (girl)friend... why I'm laughing my way out of this situation? Why I'm willing to keep talking to her while knowing that probably we will never be "more than friends" (but for me, ally>friend>girlfriend)?

...I guess I'm "too young to fall in love"...

[bodigami]

Grifter, basically the one I really like is "taken"... I've to "fight for her"; but I will do it efficiently... time is my ally.

BigTex, I usually concur with what you post. Having a family can be nice. But on the "edipus issue" (or however it's called) I simply don't believe it, or at least it doesn't apply to me. Also, I don't get your last post.

cute-bunny avatar poster, as usual your posts are funny but I don't concur at all.

[BigTex]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('zensui', 'G')rifter, basically the one I really like is "taken"... I've to "fight for her"; but I will do it efficiently... time is my ally.

BigTex, I usually concur with what you post. Having a family can be nice. But on the "edipus issue" (or however it's called) I simply don't believe it, or at least it doesn't apply to me. Also, I don't get your last post.

cute-bunny avatar poster, as usual your posts are funny but I don't concur at all.

[Grifter]

About 3 years ago I uttered the words.....

"Oh my god, I am my dad!"

it was both horrifying and comforting at the same time.

[hubbertspeak7777777]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('BigTex', '
')

Assuming you have a semi-healthy relationship with your parents, study your mother, you will likely be attracted to and marry someone that reminds you of her a little. Do the same with your father if you want to see what you might be like in the future. It's a cliche, but there is a lot of truth to it. You may not realize it until you are 40 years old and you hear a sound coming out of your mouth that sounds EXACTLY like something your dad may have said to you once.

[Tyler_JC]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('hubbertspeak7777777', '
')
The only kind of female friend a man should have is one with benefits.

[Plantagenet]

People who don't have kids have to pay school taxes anyway. You might as well have kids and send them to public school and get the free education offerred there.

[Lumpy]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('BigTex', '')$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('jasonraymondson', 'M')ost women are whores. Don't worry about falling in love and just bang every damn ho you can find. Fuck friends, if you need drinking buddies go hang out a bar.

Stop being a whiney little bitch, women don't respond to the crap. Be an asshole, women love assholes.

I use to the nice sweet, wanna be friends guy. It wasn't until I became a professional asshole did my love life get to rock'n

[BigTex]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('Lumpy', '')$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('BigTex', '')$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('jasonraymondson', 'M')ost women are whores. Don't worry about falling in love and just bang every damn ho you can find. Fuck friends, if you need drinking buddies go hang out a bar.

Stop being a whiney little bitch, women don't respond to the crap. Be an asshole, women love assholes.

I use to the nice sweet, wanna be friends guy. It wasn't until I became a professional asshole did my love life get to rock'n

[Lumpy]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('BigTex', '
')
No, I didn't agree with everything he said. I was just responding to the last paragraph of what he wrote. I should have made that clear. What I was agreeing with was that there do seem to be a disproportionate number of women in this world who react better to men who mistreat them than to men who genuinely care about them (during the dating stage anyway). Same is true for men chasing women who mistreat them, I suppose, rather than the ones who really care for them.

What I was trying to say was that EVEN IF BEING AN ASSHOLE WORKS BETTER, it can get tiring when it is an asshole path you are cutting through the world your whole life.

I should have read more closely. Sorry about that.

[Lumpy]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('hubbertspeak7777777', '')$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('Lumpy', '')$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('BigTex', '')$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('jasonraymondson', 'M')ost women are whores. Don't worry about falling in love and just bang every damn ho you can find. Fuck friends, if you need drinking buddies go hang out a bar.

Stop being a whiney little bitch, women don't respond to the crap. Be an asshole, women love assholes.

I use to the nice sweet, wanna be friends guy. It wasn't until I became a professional asshole did my love life get to rock'n