[blukatzen]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('Heineken', 'O')n the phone he was stilltalking about "coming home." And saying semi-crazy things, like he wanted his shoes, his clothes, and his Chapstick.

[Zardoz]

Sad news, indeed. What a shame that it can't end more easily for him. This is turning into a worst-case scenario, isn't it?

We're living too long now, aren't we? It didn't used to be like this. Few people lived long enough to have to go through these awful declines that are now so terribly routine. Modern medical technology can patch us up and keep us running for far longer than we used to. What a curse it's turning out to be.

"Geriatric medicine". Anybody know how old that medical field is? A couple of hundred years ago there was no such thing, of course. Hell, there was virtually no medical care at all. They didn't even know that micro-organisms caused disease until 1875. In your dad's case, Heineken, if he had not had any medical care at all in his life, what would have happened to him? Would he have perished long before now?

[Ache]

I was born and raised somewhere in L.A and every time I've been in a nursing place, it's really chocking to me.

My Dad is an electrician and already told him when He gets that old he is moving bad to my homeland.

I try to take him with me to the gym, but he is kind of lazy. Sometimes I do outside jobs with him and he was never that weak, it really pisses me off.

No long time ago I went to visit My college friend at a nursing hospital and it was really depressing. Workers there were just to get paid and that was it. Some of them would really flip over some old people normal actions. I guess working with old people would take a toll on you after a while.

Where I'm coming from old people are never treat like that. Oh well another tread off of the developed world.

[Ache]

I was born and raised somewhere in L.A and every time I've been in a nursing place in the states, it's really shocking to me.

My Dad is an electrician and already told him when He gets that old he is moving bad to my homeland.

I try to take him with me to the gym, but he is kind of lazy. Sometimes I do outside jobs with him and he was never that weak, it really pisses me off.

No long time ago I went to visit My college friend at a nursing hospital and it was really depressing. Workers there were just to get paid and that was it. Some of them would really flip over some old people normal actions. I guess working with old people would take a toll on you after a while.

Where I'm coming from old people are never treat like that. Oh well another tread off of the developed world.

[blukatzen]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('Ache', 'I') was born and raised somewhere in L.A and every time I've been in a nursing place in the states, it's really shocking to me.

My Dad is an electrician and already told him when He gets that old he is moving bad to my homeland.
Where I'm coming from old people are never treat like that. Oh well another tread off of the developed world.

[azreal60]

Heineken, you and your family are in my thoughts. I didn't see this thread till now, so I'm just catching up today. I have to tell you though, I've been there man. Just not with my father yet. My family seems to stroke out, and it caught my grandfather when he was still relatively young. I believe he was 74. I was 12 at the time, and he was where I got my height from. I couldn't believe the big tall thin cheapskate( a compliment) who would keep and fix just about anything was gone.

He didn't die of the stroke however. He died after a month in the hospital of pneumonia. Evidently they didn't give him enough blankets at night or something like that. I wish I had gotten to see him before he went, my mom didn't want us to see him hooked up to all those tubes.

No matter what way your father goes, the important thing to remember is how he lived. Every day, that is what you must remember to properly honor him. In time, that's all you'll remember. I know it's petty comfort right now, but one day you'll be able to look back and say " I had a great dad".

Good luck my friend.

[Ache]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('blukatzen', '')$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('Ache', 'I') was born and raised somewhere in L.A and every time I've been in a nursing place in the states, it's really shocking to me.

My Dad is an electrician and already told him when He gets that old he is moving bad to my homeland.
Where I'm coming from old people are never treat like that. Oh well another tread off of the developed world.

[Heineken]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('Zardoz', 'H')eineken, if he had not had any medical care at all in his life, what would have happened to him? Would he have perished long before now?

[Heineken]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('azreal60', 'H')eineken, you and your family are in my thoughts. I didn't see this thread till now, so I'm just catching up today. I have to tell you though, I've been there man. Just not with my father yet. My family seems to stroke out, and it caught my grandfather when he was still relatively young. I believe he was 74. I was 12 at the time, and he was where I got my height from. I couldn't believe the big tall thin cheapskate( a compliment) who would keep and fix just about anything was gone.

He didn't die of the stroke however. He died after a month in the hospital of pneumonia. Evidently they didn't give him enough blankets at night or something like that. I wish I had gotten to see him before he went, my mom didn't want us to see him hooked up to all those tubes.

No matter what way your father goes, the important thing to remember is how he lived. Every day, that is what you must remember to properly honor him. In time, that's all you'll remember. I know it's petty comfort right now, but one day you'll be able to look back and say " I had a great dad".

Good luck my friend.

[Byron100]

First of all, I want to apologize for not replying to this thread, (or anywhere else on this forum for such a long time), but do allow me to express my deepest sympathy for what your family has gone through with your father. I cannot imagine the pain and the frustration of wanting to do "what's best" for him and for things to happen the way they did. :/

There's one thing I'd like for you to do for him, if you possibly can before your father goes (if you haven't done so already in the past). If it's any way possible, gather up as many old photos, momentos, and the like from your father's past, and have a "memories" video made. You or your brother could be narrator, and have clips retelling favorite family stories and the like. My family on my mother's side did this for my grandparent's 70th wedding anniversary, and it was the most wonderful gift you can imagine for my grandfather. Him being able to relive those ancient memories touches his heart more than you and I can ever know...I can just tell. So do that, if you can....it'd be the greatest gift you could ever possibly give him while he's still in this world. The cost isn't much, and it doesn't have to be anything fancy, and the video people will do most of the work for you guys. Another thing to show your dad is the oft-downloaded "Before You Go" WWII veteran tribute...if he hasn't seen that, that would be a wonderful way of telling him "thanks" for his feats of bravery while he was in the service. This can be found here: Before You Go - Tribute to WWII vets

Doing these things will go a long ways to remember him "as he was"....and I think it'd help bring your family together in this time of hardship, much like it has for my grandparents.

I am quite saddened at the way the end of life is handled in this modern age...why is it that people can't pass on with dignity, at the time when they're meant to go, instead of having to deal with such pain and suffering? My parents have long drilled into my heads that they don't plan to go this way, and repeatedly asked me to assist them in this way, such as not pursuing "heroic" life-saving measures. It's not a crime to keep a loved one at home for their final days, is it? It is their wish, and I will do my utmost best to grant it to them.

[drayor]

Look, just take him home, give him good soup good care and don't call the ambulance for any reason stating it is his wishes.
he wont last more than a month.

This is what we used to do before the idioternal medicine frankensteins took over.

[Ache]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('Byron100', '
')
I am quite saddened at the way the end of life is handled in this modern age...why is it that people can't pass on with dignity, at the time when they're meant to go, instead of having to deal with such pain and suffering? My parents have long drilled into my heads that they don't plan to go this way, and repeatedly asked me to assist them in this way, such as not pursuing "heroic" life-saving measures. It's not a crime to keep a loved one at home for their final days, is it? It is their wish, and I will do my utmost best to grant it to them.

[Ferretlover]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('Heineken', 'H')e's on a morphine pump and oral oxycodone, but he says these take only the edge off the pain.
The surgeon seems to feel that an artificial hip isn't an option, which suggests to me that Dad's femur isn't substantial enough to receive one. I'm no expert, but that seems like a bad prognostic sign.

[threadbear]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('Ache', '')$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('Byron100', '
')
I am quite saddened at the way the end of life is handled in this modern age...why is it that people can't pass on with dignity, at the time when they're meant to go, instead of having to deal with such pain and suffering? My parents have long drilled into my heads that they don't plan to go this way, and repeatedly asked me to assist them in this way, such as not pursuing "heroic" life-saving measures. It's not a crime to keep a loved one at home for their final days, is it? It is their wish, and I will do my utmost best to grant it to them.

[Heineken]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('Ferretlover', '')$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('Heineken', 'H')e's on a morphine pump and oral oxycodone, but he says these take only the edge off the pain.
The surgeon seems to feel that an artificial hip isn't an option, which suggests to me that Dad's femur isn't substantial enough to receive one. I'm no expert, but that seems like a bad prognostic sign.

[Ludi]

My step-grandfather died from complications very shortly after hip surgery.

Is your Dad willing to talk about his death at all?

[Ferretlover]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('Heineken', '
')God, I hope this isn't true.
I hope they have him on morphine specifically to cope with the pain of the broken hip, while he's in traction, prior to surgery. That is my belief at this point.
Was your sister's clinical situation similar to my Dad's, Ferret?

[Zardoz]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('Heineken', '.')..medical care after a certain age probably becomes self-defeating.

[RedStateGreen]

I'm so sorry this is happening. Talk with his doctors about hospice. If he gets into that, all his pain meds will be covered, you get home nursing, counseling, all kinds of things. If he lasts more than six months, so much the better, but the prognosis isn't real good right now.

The best part about hospice is really the counseling. Maybe he can find some peace before he goes.

[Heineken]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('Zardoz', '')$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('Heineken', '.')..medical care after a certain age probably becomes self-defeating.