[Ludi]

I always wonder about folks who worry so much, who wake up in the night worrying about whatever (death, etc). How does this healp you?


I have an anxiety disorder, I used to find things to worry about until I realised it was a disorder.


Now I don't know - should I be worrying? How does worrying help things? Does it help you make better decisions, take action more effe ctively? What?


I told my husband I would start worrying when he does.

[TheTurtle]

Worrying solves nothing. There is power in calmness.

Recognize the possibilities. Work towards a solution for yourself and those you love. Accept whatever comes, knowing you have prepared as best you could.

[Waterthrush]

I have found some benefits to worrying. It causes one to turn over many possible outcomes in one's mind and have responses ready. People who don't worry tend to assume that everything will fall into place. Usually, but not always, they are right.

It has a downside as well - the expenditure of energy required.

There's often a side problem attached to worrying though. Other people, those in authority over us, can make us insecure about our ability to support ourselves. Losing a job has far-reaching consequences. Although we read more often about the minority who lose jobs and find themselves better off, I see far more people who lose a job and then have heavy consequences and compromises follow.

I worry a lot about the planet. And there's so little I can do. But it seems a terrible thing that the only living planet we know of will be destroyed so that more and more people crowd everything else out of existence.

[cipi604]

Fear is your friend. Makes you feel alive.

[CarlinsDarlin]

One of my grandmother's favorite sayings was, "Worrying is like sitting in a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but doesn't get you anywhere."

To that, I will add - unless you get your butt out of the chair and DO something about your worry.
Kathy

[Laurasia]

Thanks for starting this thread, Ludi. I'm a chronic worrier, and I find it quite paralyzing at times. So it's nice to read others' responses, so maybe I'll find some pearl of wisdom to apply to my own situation.

Regards,

L.

[SILENTTODD]

Drag your thoughts away from your troubles... by the ears, by the heels, or any other way you can manage it. ~Mark Twain

[SILENTTODD]

Real difficulties can be overcome, it is only the imaginary ones that are unconquerable. ~Theodore N. Vail

[Niagara]

Worrying is like paying interest on a loan you never took out.

[Nano]

Worrying is not so bad, i agree with the poster above who says worrying gives energy. The only thing you should never do is worry in bed. My grandmother used to say: leave your troubles at the side of your bed, because you can be sure they will be there in the morning! (nobody will steal them in your sleep) Worrying in bed so that you can't sleep is one of the worst kinds of torture there is and the greatest danger to your sanity, bar none, IMHO.

[bl00k]

Worrying is wasted energy.
Worrying is your mind putting up barriers. It's amazing what the human mind is capable of.

[zzzpeakoil]

Worrying is a critically important human trait. Without it, most humans would really barely make it through life.
Those who say that's "it's bad" or "it's wasted time" ... really have it wrong as any other pshychologist would know.

It is not only necessary to worry. It is healthy. A man without worries is probably a lazy man who's being taken care of by somebody else or a rich man who can afford whatever he desires, or somebody who is apathetic, and cares little about most things around him.

Worrying is a normal, healthy aspect of human life, but clearly, it can become pathological if it crosses the line... but hey... even drinking too much water can kill you. Most good things become bad in too large quantities.

It's probable that some chose to deny that worry is good like others deny that crying is good. Crying is also a very important ability by which some negative feelings are eliminated from withing the body. But there's the idea that crying makes you look silly, or "a true man does not cry", or other missconception that i'm sure you all heard of.

Crying is also very healthy but overcrying is not. Worry - the same.

Restricting one's own worries may lead to frustrations, anxiety and other afflictions, so I would advise against refraining from worrying.
Just don't let it cross the line and become a burden to the morale..

[PhebaAndThePilgrim]

Good evening from Pheba, from the farm:

As I write this I am fighting another wave of dizzy spells. I suffer from migraines. The migraines come from anxiety. The anxiety triggers the headaches which manifest as dizzy spells.
Right now I am deeply anxious because my daughter has been diagnosed with the same auto-immune disease that I have.
The difference between us is that I developed the disease at age 40. My child was grown, and I was only responsible for myself. My daughter is 30, and has 3 small boys.
I was finally able to fall asleep last night by asking myself a question; Okay, what can I do to help my daughter tonight, right now? The answer of course was nothing. So I went to sleep.
Tomorrow I will go visit her. I have helped her set up physician appointments, and am helping her in any way that I can.
When you get caught up in worry ask yourself; what can I do to solve the problem right now, this minute, this day, this evening?
Then if the answer is nothing, move on to something else.
Also, if something is bothering me in the middle of the night I get up out of bed and write it down. I keep a large marker and a piece of blank paper on my desk.
When I write it down I leave it on my desk and I can usually fall asleep right away.
Only a moron would not be "concerned" about the catastrophic problems descending on us.
There are times when I have trouble defining the difference between worry and concern.
Some wise person once said: "A worried person sees a problem, and a concerned person solves a problem." What a pile of cowpoo.
I am concerned about peak oil, global warming, habitat destruction, and population overshoot. I am also worried about the futures of all of planet earth because of the above problems.
What is the difference? I don't see any.
Pheba.

[threadbear]

Great thread. Wonderful advice. I think mild agitation and arousal are the features of a creative mind, that will always be running potential future scenarios through it's imagination. We just have to watch the extremes, like gut wrenching fear, in reaction to the improbable, or fretting, when there is truly nothing we can do about the reality of a situation.

My worst brush with worry, gut wrenching fear was when I was 7 years old, and through a series of unintentional screw-ups, on the part of my parents, I was left in a strange town, alone at night, locked outside of my motel, in the dark, for hours.

I'd never been left alone before, ever, and became completely hysterical--as in babbling incoherently with worry and fear.... Fear of being alone and worry that my family hadn't returned because they'd all died in a car crash. I can remember thinking that there was absolutely nothing I could do, and that I simply couldn't stand the intense worry, so I'd have to think about it in such a way that I wouldn't go mad. So I began to think of how lucky I was to have avoided such a fate, and everytime I started to worry about them all dead, I'd stop myself and think...but I'm alive.

When they finally arrived home at about 10 pm. They'd left at about 4 pm, I was as cool as a cucumber. They had no idea what I'd gone through.
I recovered, somewhat, but can revert to this state, if need be. It's actually kind of creepy. It makes me seem remarkably cold, at times, but it's a true protective mechanism.

[Pops]

Good thread Ludi, great replies.

Visualizing eventualities is a good way to decide the best course/method/plan.

Worry is merely fantasizing about the worst outcome…

[Pops]

Wow, TB, that is tough. Thanks for putting that out.

I don’t feel comfortable talking on a message board about what situations taught me how to put my emotions down, but I agree, it is a learned skill – or habit I guess.

[Revi]

Worry can be a motivator, but it can be a very counterproductive state. I find that I worry about things, but then I start to do something about a situation. Like today, I sent our evaporator plugs up to the guy who made our maple syrup evaporator. He promised to fix them or send us some new ones. I am waiting for them, but now it's done. No sense in worrying about that one for a little while.

There seems to be a mountain of things to worry about. I try to fix things so that I don't have to worry about as many things. I have to let go of some things. This is my only religion. When things get to be too much I ask for a little pressure relief. I find that when I let go of it after a night's sleep or a little while things seem to lighten up. I don't know if it's caused by a higher power or not, but it's a relief.

[Ludi]

Thank you all for the insights.


I wish I were that lazy man who doesn't do anything, or has someone to take care of him, or is rich and has all taken care of!


Still, I do not cultivate worry, as I find it counterproductive, personally. (others obviously have other experiences).

[Waterthrush]

On the whole I think the negatives of worry outweigh the positives. Physically, worry doesn't feel good.

But it's hard to stop. For me, it's taken on some aspects of a psychological defense. I'd like to try living without it! Maybe it's one of those 15 minutes at a time things.

[POAlex]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('Ludi', 'I') always wonder about folks who worry so much, who wake up in the night worrying about whatever (death, etc). How does this healp you?


I have an anxiety disorder, I used to find things to worry about until I realised it was a disorder.


Now I don't know - should I be worrying? How does worrying help things? Does it help you make better decisions, take action more effe ctively? What?


I told my husband I would start worrying when he does.