[Narz]

I've had a lot of personal goals over the years I've failed to meet. I've always wondered why and been quite critical on both myself and my circumstances in an attempt to understand.

But perhaps the whole "self improvement" thing is as MonteQuest (I think) says "a solution in isolation". If I got all super healthy and cut up like LL Cool J or finally joined a martial arts club and got proficient or studied some of the things I'm into as hobbies and became really masterful at them... well, that would be pretty cool. It would be good for my ego, I'd probably feel much better about myself, etc.

But... if I couldn't use those things to serve the world in some way, and/or as a way to connect w/ other people, then perhaps they wouldn't be as good as all that. Perhaps I worry they might even serve to distance me from others, create jealousy, draw hostility even (not like this is an unknown or unlikely reaction among humans historically).

Just musing. Perhaps this is part of my stumbling block (worrying what others think), even as I post this here I wonder whether people will think I'm sound pretentious talking about serving the world or whatever but I honestly think it's a human need (even jerky people "serve" in their own way). Perhaps it's because my father was jealous of the attention my mother gave me (and thus not him), due to his own inattentive mother (and father off in WW II and very busy in general) and so the cycle goes.

Anyway, just thought I'd throw that out here to you guys. I wonder whether I'll "magically" get my shit together and slowly get on track to "be all I can be" (most Americans probably thought of the army right there, it's a shame the way pop-culture can bastardize a good phrase, eh?) once I get involved within a sustainable community. Or maybe that's just wishful thinking.

Curious to hear people's thoughts here or if anyone has ever had similar theories.

Cheers,
Narz

[americandream]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('Narz', 'I')'ve had a lot of personal goals over the years I've failed to meet. I've always wondered why and been quite critical on both myself and my circumstances in an attempt to understand.

But perhaps the whole "self improvement" thing is as MonteQuest (I think) says "a solution in isolation". If I got all super healthy and cut up like LL Cool J or finally joined a martial arts club and got proficient or studied some of the things I'm into as hobbies and became really masterful at them... well, that would be pretty cool. It would be good for my ego, I'd probably feel much better about myself, etc.

But... if I couldn't use those things to serve the world in some way, and/or as a way to connect w/ other people, then perhaps they wouldn't be as good as all that. Perhaps I worry they might even serve to distance me from others, create jealousy, draw hostility even (not like this is an unknown or unlikely reaction among humans historically).

Just musing. Perhaps this is part of my stumbling block (worrying what others think), even as I post this here I wonder whether people will think I'm sound pretentious talking about serving the world or whatever but I honestly think it's a human need (even jerky people "serve" in their own way). Perhaps it's because my father was jealous of the attention my mother gave me (and thus not him), due to his own inattentive mother (and father off in WW II and very busy in general) and so the cycle goes.

Anyway, just thought I'd throw that out here to you guys. I wonder whether I'll "magically" get my shit together and slowly get on track to "be all I can be" (most Americans probably thought of the army right there, it's a shame the way pop-culture can bastardize a good phrase, eh?) once I get involved within a sustainable community. Or maybe that's just wishful thinking.

Curious to hear people's thoughts here or if anyone has ever had similar theories.

Cheers,
Narz

[RedStateGreen]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('Narz', 'I')'ve had a lot of personal goals over the years I've failed to meet. I've always wondered why and been quite critical on both myself and my circumstances in an attempt to understand.

[Narz]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('americandream', 'I')'m in the same space as well. I'm just not sure of the community thing though. I guess I've no trust any longer.

[Heineken]

Narz, what a great thread topic.

Self-improvement has always been central to me, and something I've pursued vigorously most of my adult life.

RedStateGreen is right; the best motivation comes from within.

However, I can't say I've always found it to be sufficient. Sometimes an external push is what actually gets you to your goal.

My problem is and always has been that I'm interested in too many things. I've found it difficult---impossible, really---to specialize. I tend to flit from one thing to another, tasting but not swallowing. I'm restless.

I've accomplished some "self-improvements" along the way, but none of them have brought lasting satisfaction.

For example (one out of many), I used to think that being able to write the initials for credentials after my name would be the coolest thing in life. They would provide both internal and external validation of my intellect. I earned a couple of sets of initials and for a brief period was proud of them. But the glow faded.

The Bhuddists are eternally right. They have it all figured out.

The only real self-improvement is to stop wanting elaborate things. Live in the moment---be like the dog, the bird, the bear. The rest is noise.

[oldstyle]

You don't have to be perfect with a perfect body and mad kung-fu skills. I can remember times in my life when I felt whipped, or like I was continually batting my head on a brick wall. In my experience, it usually meant I was. Try new things, always being yourself and true to yourself, self improvement is about growth, it's a journey and not a destination.

A simple exercise is to look at different time lines and set some short and long term goals.
Tonight I will...
This week I will...
This weekend I will ...
Next payday I will ...
In 3 months I will ...
Next year I will ....
In the next 5 years I will ...

Think about what you want to fill in the blank and reasonably figure out how it can happen. Then think a little further about what is stopping you or could potentially stop you from reaching those goals and ways you could or would work through them or mitigate them entirely. Once you start accomplishing things .. yes even simple things... you will begin to realize that improvement is gradual and not about a finished product. Saying I will get out of bed tomorrow morning without snoozing the alarm absolutely counts as a short term goal.

Don't wait for the "one day I'll join a better community" and then work on these things. Life is what happens while were busy making plans. Do something tomorrow, even if it's just changing your AC filters or whatever silly goal you define for yourself tonight. Once you have it completed, take a second or two to congratulate yourself mentally and set another one.

[Loki]

As a wise man once said, "Self improvement is masturbation. Now self destruction...."

From a Buddhist perspective, this is absolutely correct. Self-improvement is nothing but a magnification of the ego. There is no self to improve. Destroy the self.

But that doesn't really help make day-to-day decisions. Too abstract. Oldstyle's advice is much better.

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('Heineken', 'M')y problem is and always has been that I'm interested in too many things. I've found it difficult---impossible, really---to specialize. I tend to flit from one thing to another, tasting but not swallowing. I'm restless.

[Heineken]

Yes, it's the journey and not the destination, oldstyle. So true.

Life could be viewed as an endless series of problems. Solve one and another takes its place. It's a many-headed hydra. I have studied how this happens with a certain horrified fascination.

You never really get ahead. You never get free.

It's important not to get too deeply invested in solving the problems, therefore. (And self-improvement could be viewed as a problem, or set of problems, that need solving.) Solve the problems that can't be ignored with your lower consciousness, while trying to keep the higher levels unsullied. Whatever that means.

Welcome to PO.com!

[Heineken]

Loki, like you I feel I know more than I did 5 or 10 years ago. A good deal more. But the extra knowledge seems to serve no purpose, other than to make me more dissatisfied, or more critical, or more frightened . . .

A young child knows virtually nothing, a dog even less. But they are happier than Ph.D.s. Animal wisdom.

Physical self-improvement is especially futile, since it is implacably opposed by the aging process, as every great athlete sadly discovers. I have tried so hard to achieve this and that, but an injury always intervenes despite all caution. Yoga seems to be the best avenue for me now; it still has not betrayed me.

My self-improvement goal for today is to learn how to spell "buddhism."

[RedStateGreen]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('Narz', '
')I think the issue is I need to connect my goals to something bigger. Running in place is a drag but if you're planning a prison break you best be doing it on the regular. Of course even a prison break requires a larger motivation. If there's nothing waiting for you outside the walls, why bother?

[Loki]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('Heineken', 'L')oki, like you I feel I know more than I did 5 or 10 years ago. A good deal more. But the extra knowledge seems to serve no purpose, other than to make me more dissatisfied, or more critical, or more frightened . . .

[Heineken]

Are happiness and knowledge mutually exclusive?

[Schneider]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('Heineken', 'A')re happiness and knowledge mutually exclusive?

[Narz]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('Heineken', 'A')re happiness and knowledge mutually exclusive?

[Dukat_Reloaded]

Self improvement for what purpose? I used to do afew things also like martial arts and listened to tony robbins and found it unforfilling and pointless. Last few years I have been studying the markets which has taken up alot of my time. I have also become christian and found in way that is self improvement in itself, stop doing bad things, loving thy neighbor but yes things like self improvement courses I think are generally a scam.

[MattSavinar]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('Heineken', '.') I have tried so hard to achieve this and that, but an injury always intervenes despite all caution. "buddhism."

[cynthia]

Compelled by this thread, I mention Eric Maisel's book, Ten Zen Seconds. (I suggest this as a Buddhist snob).
Breathe in for five seconds and breathe out. Then have take an intention and divide the intended thought accordingly. For example, for falling asleep, inhale for five seconds (observe the second hand on a clock and practice, it was longer than I thought) and say on the inhale, "I amm-mm falling..." and during the exhale, "a-sleeeep."
Maisel says the meditator can divide the statement/syllables between the inhale and exhale any way that feels natural.
What I like about this exercise is using breath and good thinking in ten seconds.
But like any exercise, repetition is key. And breathing deeply is good for the body.
cynthia

[Heineken]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('MattSavinar', '')$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('Heineken', '.') I have tried so hard to achieve this and that, but an injury always intervenes despite all caution. "buddhism."

[SpringCreekFarm]

I have a plan for self-improvement that I'm planning on implementing sometime in the new year. It's not a New Years resolution in as much as it is just timed that way.

I know that when you talk about self-improvement with others, it's easy to just talk and take no action. That is why I want to stay short on details and I'll post back in 6 months to see if I'm on track with it.

I've taken different, radical shifts in my life for the better. This one it is the most radical of all, wish me luck.

[oldstyle]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('Heineken', 'Y')es, it's the journey and not the destination, oldstyle. So true.

Life could be viewed as an endless series of problems. Solve one and another takes its place. It's a many-headed hydra. I have studied how this happens with a certain horrified fascination.

You never really get ahead. You never get free.