[aldente]

Correct, PMS. It probably was a few years later but good old Albert Hoffman left some traces in my brain for sure. It takes only one good trip on LSD to change your life, especially during the formative years. I haven't had access to the stuff in over 20 years. Sorry if I come over rude in thread on this particular context. My condolencens to Shannymara. I didn't meant to be unsensitive.

Terrence McKenna talkes about the concept of a time machine on a recorded video with Rupert Sheldrake (He talkes about a lot of other things as well of course). A major acid head he was. Died in 2000 unfortuenatly.

Death, the loss of people close to us (especially that of a child) and similar live shaking experiences is in the foreground what religion seems to be rooted in. Or at least what some of its remances these days serve for. However I believe that religion in the first place came out of experiences similar (or equivalent) to that of psychedelic trips. Of course, the tripper is marginalized since not taken seriously. As McKenna already observed the Shamans of the Amazon live outside the villages and at the boarder of society. This does not make Albente the PO shaman but for sure the PO tripper.

In an Amazonian village a person of grief like Shannymara probably would have been recommended to visit the shaman and to take Ayahuasca. The active ingredient is DMT, a body own substance which supposedly is only released into the bloodstream during birth as well as death. Small amounts find their way into the body nightly during sleep and might be causing dreams.

[mmasters]

Oh yeah it's the substance of dreams and of natural death though it combines with other naturally produced psychedelics within us, 5-meo-dmt is another notable.

I don't think I would be able to percieve things from so many angles or be so freed in my thinking without having experimented with a number of these substances when I was younger. Then again my short term memory ain't so hot!

[threadbear]

double post

[threadbear]

Off topic

[threadbear]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('mmasters', 'O')h yeah it's the substance of dreams and of natural death though it combines with other naturally produced psychedelics within us, 5-meo-dmt is another notable.

I don't think I would be able to percieve things from so many angles or be so freed in my thinking without having experimented with a number of these substances when I was younger. Then again my short term memory ain't so hot!

[mmasters]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('threadbear', '')$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('mmasters', 'O')h yeah it's the substance of dreams and of natural death though it combines with other naturally produced psychedelics within us, 5-meo-dmt is another notable.

I don't think I would be able to percieve things from so many angles or be so freed in my thinking without having experimented with a number of these substances when I was younger. Then again my short term memory ain't so hot!

[mmasters]

BTW, shanny, you might just need to lessen your time here. The site is an energy drain and energy drains aren't good if you need to heal. I'm focusing on lessening my time here so I can better recover from my burnout. I mean I feel compelled to visit if the stock market crashes or if shit is happening but otherwise I don't think there's much new. I think sometimes it can be good to take a diet on this place.

[TheTurtle]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('Shannymara', ' ')I think what I need to do is just go sit in the woods for a few days. I need some quiet time.

[topcat]

Shanny -- I shared a beautiful sunrise with you today, clear blue skies.

I thought of your losses and mine.

Your losses are great, and seem even greater because you care.

Don't stop caring.

TC

[MD]

The woods are great.

Give me a place, rich with life.
Away from the turmoil of human strife.

I go there to listen.

Shut out the machine; leave it behind,
'till the new sounds-around flush the mind.

Next up: an eyeball rinse.

Climb me a mountain to get some exposure.
Get some perspective. Look for some closure.

Then a foot wash:

Get some friends and walk the beach.
Have a fire. Stay in reach.

Repeat as necessary. Unlimited refills.

[JPL]

Hi Shanny,

Yea I thought a bit more about your situation tonight and I also think it's about time you had a few nice things happen to you. Good vibes on their way. I'm sure you'll be fine (grin).

JP

[aldente]

5-Meo or NN, I never did pass the chrysanthemum, did any of you guys?

[MrBean]

It's not good to be alone in sorrow, thank you for sharing yours.

I have two beautifull sons, 3 and 8 in years. What is tough is not loving, that part comes easy. The really difficult part is accepting that others love you and depend on you. Accepting love is the worst slavery.

If I may, I'd like to share part of my story. Last summer I (while trying to save humanity pretty much alone and facing, let's say obstacles :lol: ) I had a period of total surrender, giving up all hope, including any hope for my children, any ability to do anything for them. I sort of died and became a zombie full of venom, not nice. Fearless, for sure, but not nice. Then my wife, children and friends (the bastards! ) were somehow able to convince me that I'm still loved, regardless, and to accept their love. So now I hope and fear again.

Now I have allready given up on most of the humanity, that is not difficult as one needs to and can make necessity a virtue. If humans are against Forest, then I take sides with Forest. Now I just hope that few remaining Forests (and few remaining peoples living in harmony with Forest) can go on living and learning and evolving spiritually. And that (given a few generations), also some of us, some of our children, victims and culprits of technocratic society and alianation can relearn to live with Forest.

It's not good to be alone, and as they say, it takes a village. An ecovillage. A network of ecovillages. A multitude of different kinds of ecovillages and their networks, reflecting each other: http://gen.ecovillage.org/

I still lead a consumerist life in a big city and can't say if moving to an ecovillage (or starting a new one) is real possibility for my family, but it's good to have something meaningfull to do, a common goal, sharing a vision with others and working for that. Even though I don't have any practical skills that basic production and providing requires and my aging and ailing body is allready a wreck.

But I really am blessed. I'm able to put my time and remaining energy in usefull activities, grassroots political activism (currently especially local referendum initiative to preserve remaining local city forests from "development) and spiritual activism (shamanistic practices, drumming etc.). Meeting new people, new friends, sharing and learning.


Take care, friend.



$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('Shannymara', 'I')n the past 14 months I have lost my father, my sister, my love, my baby, and all hope for my marriage. The planet is sick, maybe dying. My youth is fading. I have been unable to avoid industrializing my beautiful son, being myself wholly industrialized from birth, and living in a wholly industrialized nation. I am feeling intense grief over all these losses. I live in a place where it's very difficult to find people I can connect with, and circumstances, particularly my expectations about future events outside my control, preclude moving. My mother is here, but due to past family events I am unable to lean on her for certain kinds of support. I am caring for a young child, goats, a guard dog, chickens, plants and trees, and several housepets, and all of them take more than they give emotionally (especially the child). Yet all of them are necessary. It's hard to have much hope for the future in light of the geopolitical and economic circumstances. I'm lonely, and the weight of this grief is almost unbearable at times. Please help me find the strength to carry on.

PS - Anti-self-pity parables about men with no feet, and tough love tactics, are not necessary. I'm quite capable of that approach on my own, thanks.

[MrBean]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('albente', 'C')orrect, PMS. It probably was a few years later
In an Amazonian village a person of grief like Shannymara probably would have been recommended to visit the shaman and to take Ayahuasca.

[holmes]

Oh Shanny hang in there! You have my sympathies and support. I have been on my own since 18. A gypsy. I have no family and very few friends in my location. I go where the pay is every 3 years or so. It is a highly lonely life i lead. Its has major American dream aspects tho. Such as the great outdoor adventures and excercising. Try and find the good and run with it. I feel your pain. You are strong proud woman.
My whole life has been about loss. I am just finally now confronting it all....

[PenultimateManStanding]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('Shannymara', ' ')My youth is fading. .

[Madpaddy]

holmes wrote,
$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('', 'M')y whole life has been about loss. I am just finally now confronting it all....

[Pops]

What a great outpouring.

It is quite gratifying to see a virtual community so real.

[threadbear]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('holmes', 'M')y whole life has been about loss. I am just finally now confronting it all....

[holmes]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('Madpaddy', 'h')olmes wrote,
$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('', 'M')y whole life has been about loss. I am just finally now confronting it all....