[Heineken]

I have felt almost all the same emotions toward my fellow PO.com-ers that I have felt for the "real" people I've known.

Anger, affection, jealousy, admiration, disgust, respect---you name it, I've felt it.

However, it's frightening knowing that most of my "community" consists of electrons. I feel increasingly unable to reach out and connect with real people, even though I know it's crucial to be doing that.

Living with another man in rural Virginia has a lot to do with that. Gotta keep a low profile.

[Pops]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('Heineken', 'L')iving with another man in rural Virginia has a lot to do with that.

[Heineken]

Good, good advice, Pops. I know it's good advice but I feel unable to react to it proactively.

The neighbors are there, but they are out of sight, since we live in the woods and so do they. We've been here much, much longer than they. I can hear them sometimes---their parties, fireworks, chainsaws, etc. Even voices sometimes floating through the trees. I have met them on both sides and they are fairly friendly. I was also very friendly toward them. I helped one guy fix his chainsaw---he had the chain on backwards, can you believe it?

But then you get back to your own busy life and the days and the weeks pass and turn into months and years, and the estrangement creeps back in, and it has an inertia I find harder and harder to overcome.

Being out of visual contact with neighbors creates a different dynamic, one less conducive to social networking. Then you throw in my own peculiarities and . . .

[azreal60]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('', 'B')eing out of visual contact with neighbors creates a different dynamic, one less conducive to social networking

[Bytesmiths]

I find I have to give PO a break now and then. I agree that electrons makes for a poor community -- especially if one uses this list as displacement for not getting off your butts and working on real community.

Also, people have been praising the no-hold-barred discussions. Personally, I can do without a lot of that.

While one can go too far and become a "polyanna," I prefer to surround myself with upbeat, "can do" people, rather than nay-sayers. We have discussions and controversy, but have some pretty strict un-written rules for conducting discourse. We treat each other with respect and don't call each other names. We recognize that effective communication isn't first nature, and we all commit to studying and using technicques like Rosenberg's NVC to keep our interactions cordial.

This is not to say I don't value diversity of opinion. I do not seek to surround myself with mental clones. But I do think it is important treat each other with respect, and work towards concensus.

So now I'm not here much, because I find much of the discourse here to be toxic. If I come away from the computer frustrated and angry, I know I'd have been better off never logging in to PO.

I duck in every now and then, wearing my best mental armour, and see if things have changed. I come away saddened by the behaviour of some, and in awe at the marvelous restraint and maturity of others. But I still come away, because ultimately, human beings trump eletcrons, and I need to invest time in my own human community, rather than in this virtual one.

(My excuse today: we're on our quarterly family visit. It's interesting to be reminded of how much of Amerika lives.)

[Pops]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('Bytesmiths', 'B')ut I do think it is important treat each other with respect, and work towards concensus.

[Bytesmiths]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('Pops', 'O')n the idea of real people, I told Shannon as she was heading out, her dropping by was like meeting a pen pal, which is pretty cool, as we would never have met otherwise.

[Nano]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('Shannymara', 'W')hen I do get to talk with other peakers face to face it's so refreshing!

[PrairieMule]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('Shannymara', '')$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('Nano', 'L')ooking at your avatar: are you hare krishna?

[Pops]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('PrairieMule', 'A')ll hail our Shiva Diva Shannymara! For she weilds a garden hoe, a mason jar, and a pair of .357 revolvers in her hands.

[PrairieMule]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('Pops', '')$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('PrairieMule', 'A')ll hail our Shiva Diva Shannymara! For she weilds a garden hoe, a mason jar, and a pair of .357 revolvers in her hands.

[Pops]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('PrairieMule', 'T')he local indians tell me she can control the weather.

[Heineken]

I do love your avatar, Shanny. It dovetails brilliantly with your nickname.

Now give me back some of that rain you've been stealing from me! You too, Pops!

[threadbear]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('Bytesmiths', 'I') find I have to give PO a break now and then. I agree that electrons makes for a poor community -- especially if one uses this list as displacement for not getting off your butts and working on real community.

Also, people have been praising the no-hold-barred discussions. Personally, I can do without a lot of that.

While one can go too far and become a "polyanna," I prefer to surround myself with upbeat, "can do" people, rather than nay-sayers. We have discussions and controversy, but have some pretty strict un-written rules for conducting discourse. We treat each other with respect and don't call each other names. We recognize that effective communication isn't first nature, and we all commit to studying and using technicques like Rosenberg's NVC to keep our interactions cordial.

This is not to say I don't value diversity of opinion. I do not seek to surround myself with mental clones. But I do think it is important treat each other with respect, and work towards concensus.

So now I'm not here much, because I find much of the discourse here to be toxic. If I come away from the computer frustrated and angry, I know I'd have been better off never logging in to PO.

I duck in every now and then, wearing my best mental armour, and see if things have changed. I come away saddened by the behaviour of some, and in awe at the marvelous restraint and maturity of others. But I still come away, because ultimately, human beings trump eletcrons, and I need to invest time in my own human community, rather than in this virtual one.

(My excuse today: we're on our quarterly family visit. It's interesting to be reminded of how much of Amerika lives.)