by threadbear » Wed 14 Feb 2007, 15:17:37
$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('Heineken', '')$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('threadbear', '')$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('Heineken', 'I') should be most proud to be able to read Greek. Alas, it will have to wait until the next lifetime. (And, while I'm at it, I'll need a better brain.)
Every time I see printed Greek I think unavoidably of my brother, from whom I am estranged. He received a Ph.D. in classical philology from Harvard. I grew up stepping over and around the piles of his damned Greek and Latin books. He was a genius, but a rotten human being.
I hope you don't mind me asking, Heineken. How did his rottenness manifest, and was it a byproduct of his genius?
He beat me and tormented and dominated me when I was a child (he is 3 1/2 years older than I and was always much bigger). My dad (already sick with PTSD, although we didn't know it then) was the remote type and didn't protect me. And my mother was hardly a match for Larry.
For the first two decades of my life he told me I was stupid and ugly and a "little snot." He belittled my abilities. He lied to others about me.
I received from him almost no brotherly love or support. He spent time with me only when it served his interests.
All this went far beyond the usual "sibling rivalry." It infuriated me when my parents or others referred to the situation that way, as if it were all normal.
I don't know where this nightmare came from, Threadbear. My parents tell me that he resented me when I was brought home from the hospital where I was born, and never stopped resenting my presence in his life.
Certainly his intelligence equipped him to torment me with dreadful skill, and to get away with it.
I was so afraid of him for so long. If only I had realized what power I really held. Children can do awful things and get away with it, legally at least.
That's terrible. Noone should have to go through anything like that. When I was running an out of school care center, I had two brothers, older one was 3 years older than younger. The younger one was a big kid with a sweet, amiable personality. The older one was always great with me, but insulted belittled and made life miserable for his younger brother.
It's the only time I've ever pulled a parent aside and suggested they HAD to get outside help for their kids. The parents were separated, so I pulled the Dad aside separately to reinforce it, and he gave me the old..."Boys will be boys" routine. I told him that what he had going on in his family was so far beyond normal sibling rivalry that his younger son risked permanent emotional damage if it wasn't stopped immediately. Think he was annoyed, but...tough bounce.
My older sister was a bit of a bully and I had to share a bedroom with her. Fortunately, I did well in school and had more friends than she did, when I was a little kid, so was somewhat immune to her negativity, though still a bit hurt and confused by it.
. Sibling abuse is as damaging as parental abuse. Society will back the child, if it's a parent mistreating her/him, but pretty much ignore similar or worse treatment from a brother or sister. Sad, damned sad.
by Heineken » Wed 14 Feb 2007, 21:56:59
$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('mmasters', ' ')It all comes down to taking responsibility for yourself and your situation. It's possible for those even in the most extreme circumstances to set themselves free.
You hit the bull's-eye with that dart, mmasters.
One of the most liberating things I ever did was read Wayne Dyer's "Your Erroneous Zones" and applying a lot of the principles. Probably the most important chapter in that magical book is "Letting Go of the Past."
Come to think of it, I've read that book three or four times.
I have long ago forgiven, in my heart, everyone who hurt me. More or less, anyway. And I take 100% responsibility for my life and what I do with it.
Perhaps that's a "Greatest Personal Accomplishment" and I ought to tack it onto the list.
"Actually, humans died out long ago."
---Abused, abandoned hunting dog
"Things have entered a stage where the only change that is possible is for things to get worse."
---I & my bro.
-

Heineken
- Expert

-
- Posts: 7051
- Joined: Tue 14 Sep 2004, 03:00:00
- Location: Rural Virginia
-