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Difficult life situation IN TANDEM with PO awareness...

Discussions related to the physiological and psychological effects of peak oil on our members and future generations.

Difficult life situation IN TANDEM with PO awareness...

Unread postby Balthasar » Sat 08 Apr 2006, 10:21:23

Salutations to everybody who reads this. Allow me to explain my situation:

I feel like I've been jammed into a corner by many, many different directions.

Peak oil awareness isn't the only one. It is also the fact that I am 19 years old, and live in a city (Baltimore, MD) that is so generally CLUELESS that it is mind-boggling. I read about all these other cities and locations full of people who are aware - BUT NOT WHERE I LIVE!

But there's another huge problem I'm dealing with that isn't totally related to PO, but works in tandem with PO to make things exceedingly difficult:

Without going into my life story and why I am in this position right now, I quite bluntly am almost completely socially isolated. I do not have any friends. I'm not close to anybody in my family (hell, there are a lot of tensions within my immediate family, so I feel very estranged).

So, there's the issue of being aware of PO, but also life being totally in the dumps for additional reasons. And I have been finding that is it extraordinarily difficult to attempt to build a social life when you're serious about preparing things that most people are already in denial about - like peak oil! People think that you're a lone lunatic - and at an age like 19, when everybody is all about college and dance halls and football and video games and all that jazz and making lots of money, it's grueling. (I never liked those things anyway - certain aspects of my personality and interests also work in tandem with PO that make this whole situation difficult)

I'm currently living at home with my father, doing all kinds of small things to hopefully prepare myself. I've also been involved lately with some volunteer activities, if nothing else as an attempt to repair the social aspect of my life. In a couple of weeks, I am attending a 2-month training program to become a bicycle mechanic as well.

Basically, I'm seeking some suggestions here on: How do I repair my life situation, while also doing in a way conducive to preparing DIRECTLY for PO, all at the same time?

I've been toying with a lot of ideas, both short-term and long-term. I'm convinced that it would be wise to eventually emigrate from the USA - ESPECIALLY from a densely populated US city like Baltimore, as it would be one of the worst places on earth to be for PO, for obvious reasons. There are other reasons for leaving as well - if nothing else, the simple lack of awareness in comparison to many other places. I've considered doing some WWOOF (www.wwoof.org) type stuff as well (just unable to do it right now because I'm soon entering the bike program ultra-soon) even joining an ecovillage or commune (although I worry that I would be rejected from some places simply because I am socially isolated).

Any thoughts?
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Re: Difficult life situation IN TANDEM with PO awareness...

Unread postby grillzilla » Sat 08 Apr 2006, 11:49:57

Balthasar,

I have these observations concerning your post:

Please don't take what follows as an attack.
Your primary problem seems to be a feeling of isolation. If you are living in a major city and you feel isolated, the problem is most likely internal to you. Put another way, you cause your own isolation. You seem to recognise this as you conclude that you fear a commune or collective would not accept you.

It's been my observation that usually when people feel this way it is because they don't believe people will like them without some outstanding reason (financial, talent, beauty etc) to do so. It is a self-inflicted fantasy that affects a lot of people I think. The truth is that you don't need to be talented, witty, rich, or beautiful for people to like you. But you do need to go out and engage them, otherwise they will never know you. Your friends don't care if you can't dance, get up and dance anyway.

In your postition I would do the following:

Step 1:
A) If you dont already have one, get a job (for MONEY, volunteer is ok on the side but you need one to make a living)

B) Move out of your fathers place and get an apartment. Even better if you have roommates.

once on your own
Step 2:
A) continue your education, go ahead and persue the bike mechanic skills or any other that may help you in a low oil world. (The world will always need plumbers and electricians).

B) find another endevor that you feel passionate about, throw yourself into it and engage the people you meet. Above all SAY YES, when people seek your help or companionship. Don't worry about their motives, 9 times out of 10 it is just because they like you.

after the first two steps, which should take less than a year if you really try
Step 3:
A) Evaluate if you really have to leave Baltimore (how is public transportation there?)
B) If you conclude you must leave, begin a quest to determine where you should go.
C) figure out if leaving your new friends is worth it.

One last thing. Approaching your twenties and facing peak oil is a FAR FAR better thing than approaching your 60's and facing peak oil. Take it from me.
The difference between Genius and Stupidity is that Genius has its limits.
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Re: Difficult life situation IN TANDEM with PO awareness...

Unread postby Aaron » Sat 08 Apr 2006, 12:24:05

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('', 'A')ny thoughts?


I do...

I wish I was 19 years old and knew what you know.

Instead of an old guy who has already made his life choices.

Betcha you were not expecting the guy who runs PO.com to be jealous of your position when you posted this did ya?

But there it is.

You face the opportunity of the unwritten novel of your life, while I face the obstacles of my previous choices.

Be fierce & strong... you are only as alone as you choose to be.

Welcome...
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Re: Difficult life situation IN TANDEM with PO awareness...

Unread postby coyote » Sat 08 Apr 2006, 14:42:09

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('Balthasar', '.')..I am 19 years old, and live in a city (Baltimore, MD) that is so generally CLUELESS that it is mind-boggling. I read about all these other cities and locations full of people who are aware - BUT NOT WHERE I LIVE!

...I quite bluntly am almost completely socially isolated.

Those sound like two very good reasons to leave the Baltimore area. Move to one of those other locations. But not out of the US, as you mentioned later, unless you've got a good collection of close friends elsewhere.

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('Balthasar', 'I')n a couple of weeks, I am attending a 2-month training program to become a bicycle mechanic as well.

That sounds great! I think you'll be in fine shape. Don't despair.

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('grillzilla', 'I')f you are living in a major city and you feel isolated, the problem is most likely internal to you.

Personally, I have always felt the most isolated when living in a large city. Vastly easier to get to know and connect with your neighbors in a smaller town. Being in a big city feels like millions of individual cages... where you can see but not touch the people around you.
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Re: Difficult life situation IN TANDEM with PO awareness...

Unread postby TorrKing » Sat 08 Apr 2006, 15:03:03

If you are smart start collecting old or damaged bicycles now. Repair them and keep them on storage. My bet is that it will not be long after $100 oil that those old bicycles will fetch a good price. Try to make enough money to buy a little piece of rural land because the cities will not be a good place to be in the long run.

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Re: Difficult life situation IN TANDEM with PO awareness...

Unread postby Cobra_Strike » Sat 08 Apr 2006, 15:36:39

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('Aaron', '')$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('', 'A')ny thoughts?


I do...

I wish I was 19 years old and knew what you know.

Instead of an old guy who has already made his life choices.

Betcha you were not expecting the guy who runs PO.com to be jealous of your position when you posted this did ya?

But there it is.

You face the opportunity of the unwritten novel of your life, while I face the obstacles of my previous choices.

Be fierce & strong... you are only as alone as you choose to be.

Welcome...
Its not a fun thing to have happen to you. I learned last year (and turned 20 this one) there is nothing like being told you have to look forward to a really hard future to make you unhappy. I feel for the OP, afterall I know were he comes from on this. I don't feel I have anything to add to the future either, however I am all for taking a part of it for myself.
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Re: Difficult life situation IN TANDEM with PO awareness...

Unread postby AZpeaker » Sat 08 Apr 2006, 18:25:20

What about Peace Corps? If I had known about Peace Corps when I was 19 I would have done it. Expand your world view and probably learn some true post PO life skills in the process.
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Re: Difficult life situation IN TANDEM with PO awareness...

Unread postby clover » Sat 08 Apr 2006, 22:06:09

Balthasar,

Will you post more info about your bicycle repair program? I'm impressed that you found such an in-depth gig. Most classes I've seen are the one-day, how-to-lube-your-chain kind of thing. I'm jealous :)
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Re: Difficult life situation IN TANDEM with PO awareness...

Unread postby aldente » Sun 09 Apr 2006, 00:03:47

What you are experiencing is what you already hint to in your header: living a tandem- double live. The function of this board (at least in my understanding) is to support those who are in transition. One foot in the future and one in the 'here and now'.
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Re: Difficult life situation IN TANDEM with PO awareness...

Unread postby emailking » Sun 09 Apr 2006, 01:02:52

I would reccomend getting counseling to deal with the isolation. This is an extremely serious issue for your life and will continue to be regardless of what state the world/economy is in. Are you in college? If so, there's probably a number of free counseling sessions you can take advantage of. If not, I would still reccomend trying to get some kind of counseling. Unless money is extremely tight, your dad can probably help you pay for this after health insurance pays its portion. I have been in your situation before of having almost total social isolation. Counseling will help you immensly in dealing with this, along with many other problems you have that you're not really even aware of at the moment. It's not a magic fix though. You have to put effort into it, and results will be seen in the long term...not after 3 sessions say. I still have social anxiety, but I am a far cry from where I was at age 19, when I finally got counseling (3 years worth).

Definitely do not bring up peak oil with someone unless you are already good friends with them, and thus aren't really risking isolating them if they find you to be looney or are just freaked out by what you have said.
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Re: Difficult life situation IN TANDEM with PO awareness...

Unread postby wildilocks » Sun 09 Apr 2006, 09:57:12

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('albente', 'W')hat you are experiencing is what you already hint to in your header: living a tandem- double live. The function of this board (at least in my understanding) is to support those who are in transition. One foot in the future and one in the 'here and now'


I think albente's describing alot of us here, not just you... it certainly describes me! In fact, when friends I haven't seen for a while ask me what I've been doing and how I am, pretty much the first thing I say is that I'm living a double life, and there are two me's operating. Nearly all my real life friends are in denial or completely unwillingly to ponder the full implications! Or if they do they don't discuss it with me. So I know how it feels to feel isolated - given I believe PO is going to make more change in my life than any other event or process. I live in a large capital city too - and there are very few people I know in person who have any interest in the issue, let alone friends. We do have strong advocacy for sustainable transportation, but I'm still only starting to touch base with people who are political. I'm sure you'd have groups in Baltimore too - the cycling mechanic course you're about to do is surely going to give you some leads there!

Also, I actually think this phase of coming to terms with PO requires a little bit of distance from people in meatspace. It's such a huge paradigm shift, and a grieving process. Take heart knowing there are many out there - here especially, who have gone through a similar process. And you'll find people to connect with in person when you're ready.

My recommendation is to keep communicating with people online, as you are now. Do your bike course [very useful skills, pre or post peak!] and I would certainly advocate doing some WWOOFing after that. I did a short stint of WWOOFing in New Zealand when I was about 25 - it's a fabulous program and it's a great way of connecting with people who care about sustainability. You can check out different groups' ways of operating before plunging into a specific ecovillage or community on a long term basis.

You are definitely heading in the right direction :)
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Re: Difficult life situation IN TANDEM with PO awareness...

Unread postby aldente » Sun 09 Apr 2006, 10:44:40

For a while there I had a signature under all my posts that read:
'To be aware of Peak Oil means that you already have seen the future'.

If I could give only one advice to newcommers it would be 'not to try to convice others about the reality of PeakOil'. For whatever reason it seems to only sink in with a few of us.

I don't discuss it with anyone. In fact I myself live a live that disregards PO and its consequences. Think of yourself as consumer of an illegal substance. Why would you go out and tell the rest of the world about it?
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Re: Difficult life situation IN TANDEM with PO awareness...

Unread postby wildilocks » Sun 09 Apr 2006, 12:13:52

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('albente', 'I') don't discuss it with anyone. In fact I myself live a live that disregards PO and its consequences. Think of yourself as consumer of an illegal substance. Why would you go out and tell the rest of the world about it?


None of us would be aware of it if we hadn't been told by someone in some way [although I'd bet a fair chunk of cash that the vast majority of people who are PO aware have become so through reading about it rather than having been told about it in person.] I do agree that at the moment it's still not really a good idea to talk about it though [from the responses I've had at least]... but I am also sure that this situation can't last much longer. The evidence appears to be mounting that we have already reached peak and are currently at plateau, so it can't be very long before we start seeing decline. And when it's completely impossible to deny, that's when we can really start talking.
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Re: Difficult life situation IN TANDEM with PO awareness...

Unread postby clover » Sun 09 Apr 2006, 12:38:03

I don't believe in evangelism, so the closest I've gotten has been the casual "it's only going to go up..." if someone is talking about high gas prices, and maybe discussing ways to drive less or improve your gas mileage. I also fell into a lot of conservation/powerdown discussions earlier this year because people's heating bills were so enormous. I figure if I can make people think just a little harder about what's going on around them, and what they are going to do about it, that's progress.

People don't want to hear about "running out of oil" and TEOTWAWKI... they want their bills to go down, and they want to keep a roof over their heads. A quiet nudge that matches their priorities doesn't seem to be poorly received. That's what we're doing here anyway- none of us wants to be destitute when the dollar crashes, or sit around hungry and alone in the dark. We're just past the ignorance-is-bliss stage.

People around my age (mid-20s) and younger seem to be far more receptive to this, I've found. Maybe the crushing weight of student loans and the perceived lack of opportunities has already produced a lack of faith in the way things are today. I don't know a single person my age, POer or not, who thinks that we're going to be better off than our parents. We know we're getting the table scraps, and this is just one more way that's true.
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Re: Difficult life situation IN TANDEM with PO awareness...

Unread postby pedalling_faster » Mon 10 Apr 2006, 00:25:48

i suggest hooking up with people in Baltimore, because you're there now, and parts of Oregon & Washington. via the Internet, or by like walking into a coffee house in Ashland and asking for a job pumping caffeine.

there are people in Baltimore who feel exactly the way you do. i suggest using Craigslist to meet kindred souls, like placing an ad in the Personal-Platonic section, or one of the Discussion groups.

http://baltimore.craigslist.org/

also the Post Carbon institute either has a chapter in Baltimore, or needs to start one there. that's a great place to meet young people who are optimistic enough to believe the city is survivable during Energy Descent. which it absolutely is - if people make the necessary changes, and get some Sweden in their lifestyle.

as far as getting a Canadian work permit, i don't have the URL, but it's not hard to find.

http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=ca ... gle+Search

should you go to Vancouver & visit one of the antiwar rallies, you'll find yourself surrounded by kindred souls. Something as simple as walking into the Blenz at the corner of Burrard & Robson in dowtown Vancouver - and asking for a job ap - and you will be meeting interesting people. "A.J.", who boat-sits, would be homeless if not for his friends, holds up a tips jar near that same corner for an hour or 2 a day. not badly positioned for Peak Oil.

if you're travelling & meeting a lot of people, some of them will have Hepatitis. the consensus among a lot of people in Vancouver is that Hep is transmittable by sharing a drinking glass or a cigarette. just suggesting a little caution, not avoiding people.

another place where things are happening ... Zap car in Santa Rosa, California. their mini-cars are taking off and their stock options might be pretty worthwhile. their whole business plan is built around Peak Oil.

any job in the States will involve paying taxes to the Bush war machine.

if that bothers you, which i sense it does, the Canada scene might fit with your admirable moral picture. not to forget about other countries, it's just the plane tickets are expensive and you might want to spend some time in Baltimore after a 6 month re-con mission in Europe. a re-con mission like that can cost money, $10,000 easy.

any job in Canada will bring with it health insurance that will come in real handy if you find yourself with a family in 10 years.

dude, you're more awake than most of those people who climb the corporate ladder. you're more awake than a lot of the people at the top of the corporate ladder. and don't even get me started on how much more awake you are than the numbskull in the White House and his Secretary of State. when you have a hangover, you're more awake them him after 3 cups of coffee.

- - -

learning a new skill is a pretty good idea, too.

http://usa.autodesk.com/adsk/servlet/in ... eID=123112
"3D Studio Max Rev. 8"

3D Studio Max is an animation program that is central to most video game and animation houses these days. you get good in Max, & they will want to talk with you. many, if not most, of them are primarily self-taught.

this is a full function 30 day demo that comes with another 100 MB of tutorials. if you're willing to re-load the OS and the ap every 30 days, and find that it's a good fit for you, after a year you'll have a skill that's valuable in the corporate world yet still suited for telecommuting.
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Re: Difficult life situation IN TANDEM with PO awareness...

Unread postby Terran » Mon 10 Apr 2006, 05:49:10

We are in the same boat here, I'm also 19. As part generation M, we've grown up in the digital world of multi-media, computers, and other high tech wonders. But don't get me wrong, upon first learning about peak oil two years ago, my junior year of high school was frightning.
Even as part a generation M, you are not helpless, there are many things you can do about it.

First off as far as your isolation goes, it may be depression, I know it can be crippling. But I do suggest seeing a counseler or help, and get that taking care of.

Meet other peak oilers around you, Baltomore is a big city, the larger the more diversity, people should come in many backgrounds. Look for events, for peak oil, of not go to the environmental events, where people are concered with about environmental issues, you'll have alot easior time talking to them than the mainstream. Also if your in college, its a diverse place, look at the environmental depertment, if they have one, and you may meet some like minded folks.

Physical fitness is important, it will help greatly in the post peak society, not only that, it may help allievate to get rid of depression. You'll be in much better condition if your physically fit.

As far as academic, use this chance to try to connect with like minded folks, well outside of the mainstream academia. Do study what you are passionate about, but also think of the implications it will have in the real world, and think what type of application it will have in a post peak world. At the same time, do take classes in trades, that will be helpful, you choose your trade skill classes.
Keep doing what your doing with being a bicycle machanic, this is an invaluable skill, that will be in high demand when people start to bike more, during the 1973 oil shock, I heard bike ownership went up 300%. You may what to see what you like in the field of sustainability, and look into it.
The future is full of potentials, even though things may never seem like it, and many times its demoralizing, but don't get discouraged by peak oil, do something about it, and never give up.
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Re: Difficult life situation IN TANDEM with PO awareness...

Unread postby pedalling_faster » Mon 10 Apr 2006, 10:38:35

there is a company that is making bicycles for "work purposes", somewhere near the Sierra Foothills, east of Sacramento in California. their business, as far as i can tell, is booming.

you know, bicycles to haul 500 pound loads and stuff.

can't find the link.

they might be on energybulletin.net if you go back a month or 2.

another group of peak oil minded people.
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Re: Difficult life situation IN TANDEM with PO awareness...

Unread postby MattSavinar » Thu 04 May 2006, 02:30:11

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('', 'S')alutations to everybody who reads this. Allow me to explain my situation:

I feel like I've been jammed into a corner by many, many different directions.

Peak oil awareness isn't the only one. It is also the fact that I am 19 years old, and live in a city (Baltimore, MD) that is so generally CLUELESS that it is mind-boggling. I read about all these other cities and locations full of people who are aware -


Like where? There are maybe, at best, a small number of very small towns in which any degree of significant preparation is going on. I doubt Baltimore has its collective head up its collective ass any further than any other major town.


$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('', 'B')ut there's another huge problem I'm dealing with that isn't totally related to PO, but works in tandem with PO to make things exceedingly difficult:

Without going into my life story and why I am in this position right now, I quite bluntly am almost completely socially isolated. I do not have any friends. I'm not close to anybody in my family (hell, there are a lot of tensions within my immediate family, so I feel very estranged).


This is not at all uncommond amoung people your age. Here's what you'll find if you stick around this board a bit:

18 year old board member: I'm freaked and I have no friends or none of my friends are aware of this

25 year old board member: I'm freaked and my girlfriend/fiance doesn't buy into this. Plus I got these damn student loans!

35 year old board member: I'm freakd and my wife/husband doesn't buy into this. Plus I got this giant mortgage

45 year old board member: I'm freakedc and my kids are too obsessed with Fifty Cent to know it's really "get oil or die trying!"

I could go on but you get the point. Whatever point you're at in life, it's going to have its own unique set of problems in relation to Peak Oil.

You're doing better than most: thus far no or little debt, no spawn, and no mention of serious physical health problems.


$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('', 'S')o, there's the issue of being aware of PO, but also life being totally in the dumps for additional reasons. And I have been finding that is it extraordinarily difficult to attempt to build a social life when you're serious about preparing things that most people are already in denial about - like peak oil!


Riding a bike, exercising, alternative energy, gardening, holistic medicine, etc. I'm sure you can find some people who are interested in these things.[/quote]


$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('', ' ') People think that you're a lone lunatic - and at an age like 19, when everybody is all about college and dance halls and football and video games and all that jazz and making lots of money, it's grueling.


Making lots of money? At 19 I was making $7.50 an hour and I thought I was balling.

As far as the other stuff there are probably plenty of people who arent' into it anyway but you're so focused on those that are that your'e not noticing those that aren't.

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('', 'I')'m currently living at home with my father, doing all kinds of small things to hopefully prepare myself. I've also been involved lately with some volunteer activities, if nothing else as an attempt to repair the social aspect of my life. In a couple of weeks, I am attending a 2-month training program to become a bicycle mechanic as well.

You're going to be the man in a few short years. Bike sales are through the roof these days. Smart move on your part. Maybe when you get done with the mechanic course pick up a course or two on running a small business. That way in a few years you can go into business for yourself.

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('', 'B')asically, I'm seeking some suggestions here on: How do I repair my life situation, while also doing in a way conducive to preparing DIRECTLY for PO, all at the same time?

I've been toying with a lot of ideas, both short-term and long-term. I'm convinced that it would be wise to eventually emigrate from the USA - ESPECIALLY from a densely populated US city like Baltimore, as it would be one of the worst places on earth to be for PO, for obvious reasons. There are other reasons for leaving as well - if nothing else, the simple lack of awareness in comparison to many other places. I've considered doing some WWOOF (www.wwoof.org) type stuff as well (just unable to do it right now because I'm soon entering the bike program ultra-soon) even joining an ecovillage or commune (although I worry that I would be rejected from some places simply because I am socially isolated).

Any thoughts?

You need to relax.

Sheesh. At 19 I could barely figure out how to make sure I had enough clean underwear to last the week. (true, I still haven't figured that out and I'm almost twenty eight) You're doing way better than you think you are. Take the bike mechanic course, start exercising, and don't worry about what you're going to do long term for at least another three months.

Best,

Matt
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Re: Difficult life situation IN TANDEM with PO awareness...

Unread postby Doly » Thu 04 May 2006, 04:59:09

Matt, you've made me realise how much better off than the average member of the board I am.

Thank you.
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Re: Difficult life situation IN TANDEM with PO awareness...

Unread postby PolestaR » Thu 04 May 2006, 11:42:53

I'm not sure what kind of "friends" you guys think are "easy" to find. You make it sound like you just work at a coffee house or pumping gas and bang, you'll find a best friend or something.

Sure you increase your chances *IF* you can dig deeper than "Sup, want a cookie with this? How bout that weather.. Yeah seeya", which usually you can't but even then. You're simply increasing the odds by pushing numbers at yourself. However, it IS very EASY to find "friends" who you can hang out with, it IS very HARD to find friends you can basically keep for life and immensely enjoy being around them simply for conversation. Some may say you don't need any best friends, or that some friends are better than none. Well you are wrong for the most part. Bad relationships don't equal healthy people. You're better off with no one than a relationship where someone constantly or commonly dumps on you.

Having a best friend (s) is almost exactly like a normal non plutonic relationship, just without the sexual interactions. It requires almost as much "work" to keep it good, but it also provides the most. Finding a best friend is like finding the love of your life, you can feel the chemistry, and I'm trying not to be too gay about all of this, but I hope someone out there understands.

My advice to the OP is don't care about whether or not you have many or any friends at all. "Other people" are usually over-rated. Finding someone you can keep in your life usually fails if you actively seek it, meaning you usually need to "accidently stumble" upon it for you to not feel disadvantaged in the relationship. Put yourself into situations where you can meet new people, sure, because that is the only way you can find people, just don't go out there with that as your agenda. You need to be strong yourself first before anyone can really take you seriously.
Bringing sexy back..... to doom
PolestaR
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