[seb]

I found the post about "peak oil and you decision to have children" very interesting. We learnt a lot about each other, right.

I have no child but I have a grilfriend and she is not a big fan of PO theory. Too scary to happen, she says. I do not talk too often about PO to her, but when I try she just does not understand me and wonder if I am not depressed, if I am ok and if my worries about the energetic future of humanity do not just come from myself depressed.

So, questions : does anyone of you experienced problems talking about your belief in PO to your gf, bf, husband or wife? How to deal with that? Do you feel this difference in a couple is just a difference as usual or is it more serious? Please let me know, I am very interested in that point.

[Permanently_Baffled]

I found my wife was very receptive, I showed her all the information and she came to the conclusion I did, the maths of the situation all point to the same outcome.

Now for a host of reasons we both believe a soft landing(economic hardship but not chaos and starvation). So are implementing a plan that avoids the symptons of recession. So we have cleared personal debt and are working on getting rid of the mortgage by the end of the decade. We are also looking at having a store of essentials just in case there is some short term disruptions to supplies from normal sources.

I asked the very same question on how to approach this topic. This forum gave some good advice. Make predictions that are easy to verify, have the telly on when the news is on , point towards mainstream articles etc etc , the amount of evidence is huge.

Also , you can point out what is the worst thing that could happen by taking action? For example if our predictions turn out to be wrong then so what we would of piad the mortgage off early and we won't need to go shopping for a while !!

I do understand the one predicement you do have, Japan is not a place to be post peak IMO. 100 million people on a small island importing 99% of its food and oil.(to get in context at least Britain is 75% self sufficient with sapre capacity and waste to boot) Might want to emmigrate.........

Hope this helps , even if a little,

PB

[Barbara]

HA Seb! Welcome in the boat!

Almost everybody has problems. My hubby listened to me carefully, and then these were his answers:
- The govt will fix it
- The scientists will find something
- Those greedy corps have big alternatives kept hidden in closets
- My father working in an oil corp told me it's just BS
- We'll take a flight (8O) and go to hide in an island in the Caribbean
And at last:
- I don't give a damn of this Peak Oil, everybody must die one day after all, leave me alone!

Believe me or not, hubby is a very intelligent person. But I'm pretty sure your girlfriend is far nicer...

[Tamera]

Whew,

Good to hear I'm not alone. Barbara, I'm in the same boat as you. My husband responded in the exact same ways. He refuses to accept the reality of it. It have gotten where I cannot talk about it at all to him. And yes, he also is very intelligent. He programs computers and that maybe his problem. Imagine what a post Peak Oil scenario will mean to his world? Perhaps, it is too frightening and foreignof an idea for him to cope with. I don't blame him. I wish I could hide from this reality myself. But I was never good at being oblivious. I like to read way too much. I grew up in a very non-material environment and so it is not that hard at all for me to not only imagine but accept. Luckily, my father is still healthy and strong and does understand and accept the realities of what we are facing.

Tamera

[seb]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('Permanently_Baffled', 'I')I do understand the one predicement you do have, Japan is not a place to be post peak IMO. 100 million people on a small island importing 99% of its food and oil.(to get in context at least Britain is 75% self sufficient with sapre capacity and waste to boot) Might want to emmigrate.........

[Permanently_Baffled]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('seb', '')$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('Permanently_Baffled', 'I')I do understand the one predicement you do have, Japan is not a place to be post peak IMO. 100 million people on a small island importing 99% of its food and oil.(to get in context at least Britain is 75% self sufficient with sapre capacity and waste to boot) Might want to emmigrate.........

[seb]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('Barbara', 'H')A Seb! Welcome in the boat!
Believe me or not, hubby is a very intelligent person. But I'm pretty sure your girlfriend is far nicer...

[jesus_of_suburbia_old]

I have recently been saying to people, "When gasoline reaches $X.XX a gallon, will you believe me?". So far, my mother has said that when gas reaches $3 a gallon, she will start taking me seriously.

[pepper2000]

I don't have any significant other now, but if I did, I wouldn't say a word about it. The decaying world system is a real downer, and downers are no way to earn the sack time I have been long deprived of. After all, if things are as grim as y'all say they are, why waste time with downers?

[PhilBiker]

My wife thinks I'm a kook. Her dad thinks we have "50 years left", when pressed "where is it going to come from" he says that Russia has a lot of oil in Siberia. Her brother is an economist who "did a report in school" on the problem.

It's all extremely depressing to me. As if the extremely serious ramifications of Peak Oil was bad enough I can't even really do anything about it. The only bright spot in my life is that we don't have any children. I can't imagine what the realization of what this may mean must be like for someone with children.

[smiley]

It is funny really. My GF used to be the environmentalist and I used to be the skeptic. Now I am the one who is more involved.

I think my GF is already happy that I've gotten involved with something which is bigger than myself or my life. And she believes in PO.

What finally pulled her over the brink was that she called a girlfriend and told her that I was very concerned about the oil situation. Surprisingly the girlfriend replied that she was also aware of the PO theory and that she was reading into the material herself at that very moment. Talk about coincidence.

However I think it would be wrong to let something like that dominate our relationship so we don't talk about it all that much. Our exposure to oil has always been very low anyway, so there isn't really that much to plan or decide.

[Permanently_Baffled]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('jrob8503', 'I') have recently been saying to people, "When gasoline reaches $X.XX a gallon, will you believe me?". So far, my mother has said that when gas reaches $3 a gallon, she will start taking me seriously.

[JR]

Hey, Barbara and Tamera...sounds like all our husbands were made from the same gene. Mine reacted in the exact same way and will not discuss it with me!




Jodi

[Tamera]

So I'm just wondering how do those of you who find yourself married to someone who refuses to believe/accept Peak Oil cope? The worst part for me isnt't that my husband doesn't believe in it, it's that since we can't talk about such "doom and gloom" we cannot prepare for it. And since he "needs" high-speed internet access for his programming, we're STUCK in the city. It's like being on a train that you know is going to wreck, you can see the brick wall ahead of you, yet are not allowed to try to brace yourself for the impact. I content myself to reading everything I can get my hands on. Learning how to make soaps, learning natural remedies, etc. Which plants are antibacterial, that sort of thing. I figure that since I can't actually store up provisions, I'll store up as much knowledge as possible. Anyway, thats how I cope.

What about you guys?

Tamera

[JR]

Hi Tamera....well, for several weeks I had a really hard time coping. I would try to talk to him mainly because the whole PO thing freaked me out and I just wanted to talk. But, he does not think it's a problem he will have to deal with in his lifetime and didn't want to hear about it. He thought it was just his overly neurotic wife gettting worked up about something again.

So, I turned to the internet to talk to people. I came here and also found a couple people on a Yahoo board who emailed me personally about my fears. There's a couple individuals who read my first frantic posts at the Yahoo board who emailed me and their words really helped me at that time.

I have come to an understanding on the whole issue. It's not something I can stop or control. And since I have a spouse who does not want to prepare (because he does not think it necessary) I have to just prepare in small ways.

Luckily, we were able to move out of the suburbs and live in a small town. Unfortunely, he still commutes to the city for work, but that will hopefully change. We cannot get out of the debt of our mortgage since he just wants to continue with monthly payments. Nothing I can do about that. But, I have convinced him we should work on other debt...luckily, we do not have a lot.

I would love to take the advice I read here and invest in gold and silver. But, that's near impossible to do with your unbelieving spouse finding out.

I have been buying books and literature to gain knowledge in areas like gardening, soap making, living off-grid, etc. I just keep putting those away on a shelf for the future if I need them. I have begun stockpiling food in our cellar, but to achieve a years worth won't happen. My spouse would object to that and consider it going overboard.

One thing I have done is to put aside a stash of cash for emergencies. All in small denominations. I have stashed about 500.00 so far and will continue. I don't think the banks will fail in the near future, but with all the doom and gloom predictions with our economy....who knows.

IT's hard to try and prepare alone. I think I have pretty much come to the understanding when TSHTF with PO, we will be amongst those who will be really struggling. I am so very greatful that I chose to not have children.

If you want to email me to talk further, please feel free to. Here is my yahoo account. finallyfit99atyahoo.com.


Jodi

[Fatherof4]

I see the tension come over my wife every time I try and discuss Peak Oil. She basically considers it just "my latest obessesion". However, just recently she said "Honey, just tell me what you think we should do about, and we'll do it!"... but damn if I know. She is thinking that walking the kids to school (instead of driving) is going to make a difference. When she brought that up, I basically said "Well, that's good honey, but have you heard of this little country called China? Well, they are basically coming out of the economic dark ages as we speak, so I don't think walking to school is going to mean sh*t in the face of that!"

[Terran]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('pepper2000', 'I') don't have any significant other now, but if I did, I wouldn't say a word about it. The decaying world system is a real downer, and downers are no way to earn the sack time I have been long deprived of. After all, if things are as grim as y'all say they are, why waste time with downers?

[bamagirl]

My husband doesn't have a problem dealing with PO. My parents and friends are another issue. I've basically just brought it up with our friends once. Usually they say they are aware of PO but it's too depressing to deal with. Yeah, sticking your head in the sand is soooo much better. My parents are iffy. They started taking it seriously very recently as gas prices have steadily gone up and the economy continues to sink. They do have much more faith in the government's ability to solve this problem than I do however. They seem to think thingswill just be bad for a few years, and then alternatives will appear. I can consider that progress at least from a few months ago and the not in my lifetime attitude.

[johnmarkos]

My wife is receptive to PO, just not obsessive like me. We've talked about plan B but haven't taken any concrete steps yet. Who knows? Maybe San Francisco will be relatively OK, post-peak. If the SHTF, we're thinking Humboldt County or maybe the foothills of the Sierras. Somewhere where there's plenty of running water. I'm just workin' for a little more savings and hopin' for a little real estate crash.

Honestly, I'm really not super worried about this part of California (LA is a different story). We have Hetch Hetchy for running water, we're surrounded by farmland (The San Joaquin and Sacramento Valleys, not to mention Napa and Sonoma), plenty of sun, and a forgiving climate. Am I being naive?

[Carrie]

johnmarkos,

I live in San Jose, and I'm a little worried about the future water situation for California, including the Bay Area. One of the effects of global warming they're predicting for California is more droughts & a water shortage. Something to keep in mind, even if it isn't directly PO related.

My husband doesn't completely buy into PO either, but I think he's starting to take it more seriously & listen to me more than when I first started talking to him about it. I think he just thinks I'm going through one of my "phases".

I don't think he completely grasps the gravity of the situation yet (I'm not sure *I* even do yet). He keeps arguing that hydrogen or some other alternative will rescue us. He was amazed when I said that fertilizers are made from petroleum. However, he was much more into "survivalism" when he was younger, and I think once he starts understanding it better he'll get on board with preparing for it.

I stay at home with my 1 1/2-year-old daughter, but I have a little internet business that brings in some income. If business is doing well, I head over to Willow Glen & stop by the coin shop to pick up some silver Eagles. My husband's tolerant of that, and it makes me feel a little better.