[bobcousins]

Jeez, life on the edge

I stubbed my toe once, that's about it. Damn glad that is all, too.

[uNkNowN ElEmEnt]

At 4 yrs old a bunch of teenagers grabbed me and started forcing a bunch of pills down my throat. Neighbour saw and chased them off.

almost drowed when an idiot pushed me off the end of a dock and I only kinda thought I knew how to do the breast stroke.

at 10 or something we were stopped for a school bus when a woman came barrelling alond in an old ford with no brakes doing 60 miles an hour. it was either plow into us or chance hitting some kids. (she had a baby tied into a play kids seat with binders twine. we had no back seat or trunk left.

at 12 I almost froze to death, my friend lost five of her toes. It was really uncomfortable, but once I was in the last stages I was nice and warm. being unthawed was incredibly painful.

somewhere after 12 I was blow drying my hair in my parents room, which I wasn't allowed in. I couldn't get the thing unplugged and didn't want to leave it cause they'd give me shit for sure. so I stuck a bread knife in between the socket and plug and got one hell of a jolt. half of the top inch of the knife just disappeared.

can't count how many times my sister tried to kill me. pushed me off the second story roof, tried to break my back on the corner of the dishwasher. pushed me down 17 stairs to a cement basement floor. (I learned how to fight back shortly after).

after I left home, life pretty much got boring.

[markam]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('', 'w')hen he was within a hair's breadth of being trampled to death by an enraged elephant

[ubercrap]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('Specop_007', 'S')tarted to drift a corner at 80. Bit too fast, Rolled the RX-7. No seatbelt, walked away.

Dumbass friend was doing 70 down a country road and lost control, into the ditch sideways. Didnt even roll.

Drove home at 100 on country roads after having woke up from being passed out. Dont remember the drive, dont know how I made it.

Drove home after a bit too much Pill N Swill. Got on the interstate at 35th street. My exit was 87th street. Only thing I remember was gettign on at 35th and thinking "Ok, 95th here I come". I remember seeing 87th street exit. Next thing I remember is driving off the road into the ditch. Looked around, no lights. Anywhere. The city ends at 151st street. Kept driving, no clue where I was. Gott off at the next exit which was not the first toen past 151 but the second. I missed my exit by damn near 50 miles, and dont remember 1 bit of it.

Driving home in the winter on country roads, hit some snowdrifts doing around 60. Didnt know those drifts had melted then frozen, they were hard as a rock. Jumped the car Dukes of Hazard style 3 times then rolled 4 times. No seatbelt, RX-7 was totalled, walked away.

Looked down the barrel of a 9mm Glock held by a guy who was just out of jail. Drug deal gone bad. That'll make the sphincter pucker up tight.

Dropped acid on a drive back home. Drove 4 hours on the interstate tripping balls like a madman.

Thelist goes on. I dunno who He is Upstairs, but whoever He is He seems to look out for me. I've lived a colorful life.

[PenultimateManStanding]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('markam', '')$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('', 'w')hen he was within a hair's breadth of being trampled to death by an enraged elephant

[Specop_007]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('ubercrap', '')$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('Specop_007', 'S')tarted to drift a corner at 80. Bit too fast, Rolled the RX-7. No seatbelt, walked away.

Dumbass friend was doing 70 down a country road and lost control, into the ditch sideways. Didnt even roll.

Drove home at 100 on country roads after having woke up from being passed out. Dont remember the drive, dont know how I made it.

Drove home after a bit too much Pill N Swill. Got on the interstate at 35th street. My exit was 87th street. Only thing I remember was gettign on at 35th and thinking "Ok, 95th here I come". I remember seeing 87th street exit. Next thing I remember is driving off the road into the ditch. Looked around, no lights. Anywhere. The city ends at 151st street. Kept driving, no clue where I was. Gott off at the next exit which was not the first toen past 151 but the second. I missed my exit by damn near 50 miles, and dont remember 1 bit of it.

Driving home in the winter on country roads, hit some snowdrifts doing around 60. Didnt know those drifts had melted then frozen, they were hard as a rock. Jumped the car Dukes of Hazard style 3 times then rolled 4 times. No seatbelt, RX-7 was totalled, walked away.

Looked down the barrel of a 9mm Glock held by a guy who was just out of jail. Drug deal gone bad. That'll make the sphincter pucker up tight.

Dropped acid on a drive back home. Drove 4 hours on the interstate tripping balls like a madman.

Thelist goes on. I dunno who He is Upstairs, but whoever He is He seems to look out for me. I've lived a colorful life.

[fossil_fuel]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('uNkNowN ElEmEnt', '
')
somewhere after 12 I was blow drying my hair in my parents room, which I wasn't allowed in. I couldn't get the thing unplugged and didn't want to leave it cause they'd give me shit for sure. so I stuck a bread knife in between the socket and plug and got one hell of a jolt. half of the top inch of the knife just disappeared.

[PenultimateManStanding]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('fossil_fuel', '')$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('uNkNowN ElEmEnt', '
')
somewhere after 12 I was blow drying my hair in my parents room, which I wasn't allowed in. I couldn't get the thing unplugged and didn't want to leave it cause they'd give me shit for sure. so I stuck a bread knife in between the socket and plug and got one hell of a jolt. half of the top inch of the knife just disappeared.

[Hawkcreek]

--

[Eli]

I forgot one I was playing out back and was thirsty so I drank a bunch of Charcoal lighter fluid I was 3 at the time. That is when I first learned to appreciate the hard stuff

Here is how I nearly killed my cousin with irony.

We were about 12 and on a bike ride with his dad and a cute neighbor girl from next door.

My cousin and I were up a head of his Dad and the neighbor girl and we were trying to cross a four lane street we got half way across and we were waiting to cross.

We were both kidding around and I said go when it was obvious we couldn't get across. Well my cousin went, I screamed No Danny!

Well needless to say he was hit but some one picked the right car for a 12 yo to get hit by. The guy driving the sting ray corvette locked up his brakes my cousin was just kind of scooped upped on the hood and then as the guy stopped slipped off the front.

Got up with out as much as a scratch on him and we all road on home. Thank God I don't have a story of how I killed my cousin with irony.

[Njegosh]

Almost drowned over the top of a mountain pass (Lake District UK)

[fossil_fuel]

all my near-death experiences involve high speeds. one was in a car, the other two were on skis.

[PenultimateManStanding]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('RedJake', '
')I got stuck in quick sand with my sister too once. Very very frightening and when we got back to safety we got bollocked like you wouldn't believe. Like we needed it, the experience was bad enough to stop us wandering out on the mud flats of Fleetwood again.

[engulfthemanatee]

Jesus guys! Y'all are insane! You need to be more careful or something! Man.

I've never been close to death, but I've almost killed other people a couple times. Last week I almost mowed a guy in a crosswalk down in my car. I was totally watching the road and everything, but somehow I didn't see him until I turned past him, missing by mere inches.

I once slammed on the breaks for some kittens in the road and caused a three-car crash behind me (they were my friends...the cars, not the kittens). Totaled one car and did damage to two others. I didn't even get touched.

[Doly]

I guess it all depends on what you call "close to death". Under my definition, if you haven't been to the hospital, you haven't been close. But it looks like most of you guys have a broader idea.

[Eli]

Yes the definition we are using is how many times if not for an infinitesimal amount of time or by some act of pure dumb luck you would have been taken straight to the morgue and not the Hospital.

[SurvivalAcres]

Several brushes with death, including a near-death experience. I don't fear death anymore.

[uNkNowN ElEmEnt]

Well, when I was four or five I noticed my dad picking his nose and wondered if he could get that big finger of his up there what I might be able to get up mine.

I went to the hospital by definition but was no where close to death ( could still breate quite well) after shoving a one inch piece of purple crayon and 4 pieces of popcorn up my nose.

[killJOY]

Not me.

I wear my seatbelt, drive the speed limit.

On my Honda I wear leather and a helmet, always.

Only time I've shot a gun was at woodchucks.

Never did drugs beyond toking.

Never drove drunk. Like to get drunk, though.

My last fist fight was sixth grade.


Unsafe sex a few times in the 80s. Now that will scare the crap out of you, especially ten years later, when you go to be tested for HIV, and you have to wait a week for the results.


Very careful around the cows and horses.

Was stung by a bunch of bees once. Should've left the hive alone that day.


My partner fell off a roof last summer, landed feet-first in soft garden dirt. I almost killed him when he told me.


Two months ago, I "assessed" three pulseless teenagers in a Chevy S-10 that went 80mph into a pine tree. Running from cops.


Summer before last, I "bagged" (respirated) a brain dead 14 year old: he fell off the back of a jet ski his brother was driving, and a friend on another machine slammed into him.


My first fire call five years ago was a motorcyclist in his 50s, no helmet, crashed into a truck that cut him off. He was going into convulsions on the pavement. Died that night.


My brushes with death were others people's.


It's all very banal, too. That's the scary part.


Death is as easy as shitting.

[PenultimateManStanding]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('killJOY', '
')





My partner fell off a roof last summer, landed feet-first in soft garden dirt. I almost killed him when he told me.


Two months ago, I "assessed" three pulseless teenagers in a Chevy S-10 that went 80mph into a pine tree. Running from cops.


Summer before last, I "bagged" (respirated) a brain dead 14 year old: he fell off the back of a jet ski his brother was driving, and a friend on another machine slammed into him.


My first fire call five years ago was a motorcyclist in his 50s, no helmet, crashed into a truck that cut him off. He was going into convulsions on the pavement. Died that night.


My brushes with death were others people's.


It's all very banal, too. That's the scary part.


Death is as easy as shitting.