[Chicagoan]

http://www.weeklyworldnews.com/features/religion/10620
$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('', 'D')URANGO, Mexico -- The Bible's most dreaded prophecy is coming true: The Devil is emerging from Hell! http://www.imageblast.com/ibport/hirez/DE6.JPG

That is the horrifying warning of more than 60 eyewitnesses who have seen the monstrous shape of the Evil One roaring out of a mile-deep Mexican oil well amid stinking clouds of sulphur. "If I had not seen it with my own eyes, I would not believe it," said Felipe Amaderos, a foreman with Greater Mexico Oil, which owns the oil field.

"The giant demon head of Satan has already escaped and his body has been slowly coming out for weeks. "White-hot flames are billowing out of the well, the skies have been darkened by strange clouds and the area is full of an evil stench so oppressive and overpowering that most people can only stand to remain there for a few minutes."

The oil field, about 60 miles outside Durango, has been ordered shut down by the government and the area has been cordoned off. Only police and clergymen who have been called in by the oil company to aid in the crisis are admitted to the area, and Mexican officials have slapped a tight lid of secrecy over the story.

But a photo taken by an enterprising freelance journalist was leaked to the Mexican media, leading to sensational headlines such as "Is Satan Invading Mexico?" The nightmarish scene is a fulfilment of Biblical prophecy, some leading Bible scholars believe. "The Bible foretold that Satan would be imprisoned in a bottomless pit for 1,000 years and when the 1,000-year mark was reached, he would be unleashed," said Father Raul Montoya, a respected local priest.

"That seems to be what we are witnessing now in the new millennium -- right on schedule." The exact words of the Good Book are, "And he laid hold on the dragon, that old serpent, which is the Devil, and Satan, and bound him into the bottomless pit, and shut him up and set a seal upon him, that he should deceive the nations no more, till the thousand years should be fulfilled: and after that he must be loosed a little season" (Rev. 20:2-3).

It is generally assumed by theologians that the "binding" of Satan took place in the Year 1000 A.D., making the Year 2000 the expected time of arrival for the Prince of Darkness.

The bizarre phenomenon began in early March when an oil well exploded, killing 13 workers. After the blast, their co-workers said they had seen gallons of a substance that looked like blood gush from the hole moments before the explosion. Within moments, suffocating black smoke began to pour out of the well, forming what has been described as "terrifying, eerie shapes" and sometimes blotting out the sun.

The descriptions of what was seen on the oil field match Bible warnings precisely, Father Montoya points out. The Scriptures say, "And he opened the bottomless pit: And there arose a smoke out of the pit, as the smoke of a great furnace; and the sun and the air were darkened by reason of the smoke of the pit" (Rev. 9:2).

Next, spindly black creatures measuring no more than three feet tall were seen climbing out of the well. The tiny, demon-like entities have since been been spotted roaming the countryside, attacking farmers and killing livestock.

Finally, about three weeks ago, the unmistakable figure of Satan himself was first seen emerging from the well. By the time oil company officials decided they had to cap the drilling site, it was too late. "Now no one is allowed within 50 feet of the oil rig," said foreman Amaderos. "We're just waiting to see what happens next."

The entire community has been affected by its proximity to Lucifer. "There have been reports of increased Satanic activity, from desecration of graves to the disappearance of children and pets -- possibly for human sacrifice," said a police source. "There have even been at least a dozen reports of demonic possession in the area.

"It's really as if all Hell has broken loose."

[NevadaGhosts]

OMG. That is too funny! And to think I used to be a Christian.

[gnm]

And if ya read it in the weekly world news then its GOTTA be true!




-G

[StayOnTarget]

hahaha


i saw this same picture and a similar story on a tabloid maybe 5 or 6 years ago, but it some mine in Russia.

[KiddieKorral]

HAHAHAHA! I needed a good laugh!

Gotta love that Photoshop!

[Permanently_Baffled]

MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

[Licho]

Devil should comment this!

[Terran]

hahahah, good one. I needed a good laugh after coming back from school. I can't believe I used to go to church, well at least I'm glad I'm an atheist.

[lowem]

Seeing the gruesome monster in front of his face, instinct took over. Toggle for weapon #5, lock, aim, and fire.

Uh, wait a minute. This isn't "Doom"?

Uh huh.

Okay.

Great post, anyway.

[Specop_007]

Send money, guns and attorneys.
This is gonna get ugly.

[Devil]

As I've no exclusivity over evil (in fact, humans are worse than I am), I cannot be held responsible for the meanderings of the human mind. I can assure you that I allow, nothing, but nothing, to escape from hell, once it gets in.

Don't forget that I am Lucifer, the fallen angel, the bringer of light. Light is energy and therefore energy is under my control. The other angels, in that other place whose name I cannot mention, are powerless, because I have the energy and every single one of you who is profligate with my resources will be welcomed into my kingdom when your time comes. No ifs or buts. You see, I've noticed that the people who are profligate tend to be more obese than those that aren't. I need that excess fat to keep the fires of hell burning, as you guys are removing too much of my fuel. In return, I'll be adding more and more brimstone and radionucleides to the fuel that is left, so that you will all kill yourselves faster and therefore rush to my kingdom. However, remember that brimstone or sulfur is not the only thing I add to your fuel: I'm enriching it with more carbon, as well. This is because I want you to have a foretaste of hell, while still on earth, by hotter, more turbulent climates.

So don't go looking for excuses and human imitations: you will find out what I look like soon enough. Oh, and by the way, thanks to you guys for the new alloy for trident making. These ones stay much sharper than the ordinary steel ones I was using in the past. I can now fork you into the flames much faster. And remember that all the computer keyboards here are missing the Ctrl, Alt and Del keys.

[PhilBiker]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('', 'D')on't forget that I am Lucifer, the fallen angel, the bringer of light. Light is energy and therefore energy is under my control.

[Matrim]

HAHAHAHAHAHA!

What's really funny is some people actually BELIEVE tabloid ads like this.

A friends mom once lectured me for like a half hour because I told her the tabloids were fake

Just for people like her....
$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('', 'I')t is generally assumed by theologians that the "binding" of Satan took place in the Year 1000 A.D., making the Year 2000 the expected time of arrival for the Prince of Darkness

[MonteQuest]

What a hoot! That B&W looks like it was taken 100 years ago!