[Aaron]

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0.

I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity.

Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected.

I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0.

Please help!
Thanks,
A Troubled User.

(KEEP READING)
______________________________________

REPLY:
Dear Troubled User:

This is a very common problem that men complain about.

Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!!

It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed.

You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony-Child Support.

I recommend that you keep Wife1.0 and work on improving the situation.

I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation.

The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance.

Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2.

However, be very careful how you use these programs.

Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5.

Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0!

WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3.

This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

Best of luck,
Tech Support

[The_Virginian]

AHH,
My FRIEND,

You need to install the softare patches Wife 2.0, Wife 3.0, and wife 4.0.

These co-mingling software pakages are highly unstable toghther, but with a partitioned hard-drive, the live just fine apart.

Unfortunatly, these software fixes are available only in very srtict Islamic progaming areas. As Europeans abandoned such healthy parctices, and Hebrews went with the flow.

Should you be in Dabuai, you may aquire these and install on a SLAVE drive, for as little as 5000 USD each. (don't ask me how I know).

One thing is for sure, these OS cost MONEY. so if you are not able to cough up the paper, stay with the older system exclusively.


Now, I hope I have provided you with information, no?

[PenultimateManStanding]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('The_Virginian', '
')Should you be in Dabuai, you may aquire these and install on a SLAVE drive, for as little as 5000 USD each. (don't ask me how I know).

[PenultimateManStanding]

If you've got got music downloads, get Prokofiev from The Damned. Astonishing. I found it by chance when looking for the music of Sergei Prokofiev.

[Antimatter]

It should be noted that Wife 1.0 includes the usefull program Free Pr0n 4.5. However overuse of this program may cause problems, such as frequent launching of Headache 2.1, and random failure of other programs such as Clean and Sweep.

[Kooka]

And the other side sez....

Husband v1.0

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed that the new program began making unexpected changes to the accounting modules, limiting access to flower and jewellery applications that had operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.9 but installed undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0, NHL 4.0 and NBA 3.0. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I do to fix the system?

Sincerely,
Desperate

Dear Desperate,

Keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Try to enter the command C/ I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME and install Tears 6.2. Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Guilty 3.0 and Flowers 7.0.

But remember, overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to default to GrumpySilence 2.5, Happyhour 7.0, MondayNightFootball 5.1, or Beer 6.1. Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will create "Snoring Loudly" or "SleepGas" .WAV files. DO NOT install MotherInLaw 1.0 or reinstall another Boyfriend program. These are not supported applications and will crash Husband 1.0!!

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. Consider buying additional software to improve performance. I personally recommend HotFood 3.0, Vacations 4.0 and Lingerie 5.3 to make Husbands 1.0 run more efficiently.

Sincerely,
Tech Support

[Doly]

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 7.0 to Husband 1.0.

I soon noticed that the new program began suffering serious interference from the TV, especially when sport programmes were on. In addition, Husband 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity, most especially during nights out.

Applications such as Mini Skirt 10.3 and Long Cleavage 5.0, which were perfectly compatible and enhanced the performance of Boyfriend 7.0 now crash as soon as I try to run them. The packages Romantic Dinner Cooking 7.5 and Presents 3.6 that were part of Boyfriend 7.0 have completely disappeared from the system.

I can't seem to run my favorite applications at the same time as Husband 1.0. It seems to be especially incompatible with Shopping 9.5. I'm thinking about going back to Boyfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn't work on Husband 1.0.

Please help!

Thanks,
A Troubled User.

(KEEP READING)
______________________________________

REPLY:
Dear Troubled User:

This is a very common problem that men complain about.

Many people upgrade from Boyfriend 7.0 to Husband 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Husband 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!!

It is also impossible to delete Husband 1.0 and to return to Boyfriend 7.0. It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed.

You cannot go back to Boyfriend 7.0 because Husband 1.0 is designed to not allow this. Look in your Husband 1.0 manual under Warnings.

I recommend that you keep Husband 1.0 and work on improving the situation.

I suggest installing the background application "Nag" to help the software run its usual tasks.

The best course of action is to enter the command C:\SEX because ultimately you will have to use the SEX command before the system will want to do anything.

Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to require high amounts of attention.

Husband 1.0 will expect you to run manually the utilities Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2.

Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Sulk Forever 9.5.

Once this happens, the performance of Husband 1.0 will drop to zero. To get it back to normal, you will have to run the command SEX and schedule as many of the above utilities as possible to run in the near future.

WARNING!!!

DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Flirt 3.3.

This application is not supported by Husband 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

Best of luck,
Tech Support

[The_Virginian]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('', 'I') know how you know! Its all over the news.

[julianj]

ROFLMAO!