[Madpaddy]

An Arab mother was showing her friend (also a mother) pictures of her three boys. This is my first son Ali she says
Yes, I remember him as a baby," Says the other mother cheerfully.
> "He's a martyr now though" mum confides.
> "Oh so sad dear" Says the other.
>
> "And this is my second son Kalid. He's 21"
> "Oh, I remember him," Says the other happily,
> "he had such curly hair when he was born".
> "He's a martyr too " Says mum quietly.
> "Oh gracious me ...." Says the other.
>
> "And this is my third son. My baby.
> My beautiful Ahmed. He's 18," She whispers.
> "Yes" Says the friend enthusiastically,
> "I remember when he first started school".
> "He's a martyr also," Says mum, with tears in her eyes.
> After a pause and a deep sigh, the second Muslim mother looks wistfully
> at the photographs and says... "They blow up so fast, don't they?"

[KiddieKorral]

I have to admit that was kind of funny.

[Madpaddy]

Thanks Kiddie,

Hey, if we can't laugh at ourselves and the ridiculousness of our whole world then what's the point of anything.

Here's three back at myself

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman were sitting in a bar, drinking (as you do), and discussing how stupid their wives were.

The Englishman says, "I tell you, my wife is so stupid. Last week she went to the supermarket and bought $300 worth of meat because it was on sale, and we don't even have a freezer to keep it in."

The Scotsman agrees that she sounds pretty thick, but says his wife is thicker. "Just last week, she went out and spent $17,000 on a new car," he laments, "and she doesn't even know how to drive!"

The Irishman nods sagely, and agrees that these two woman sound like they both walked through the stupid forest and got hit by every branch. However, he still thinks his wife is dumber. "Ah, it kills me every toime oi tink of it," he chuckles. "Moy woife just left to go on a holiday in Greece. Oy watched her packing her bag, and she must have put about 100 condoms in there. And she doesn't even have a penis!"





Paddy wins a load of money on the pools. He asks his mate Murphy if he fancies going on the piss in London with him.

Well they arrive in London at this huge hotel. They're put up on the 10th floor. Off they trot on the piss and get back to the hotel about 2 o'clock in the morning. Paddy decides he wants to go for a swim.

Murphy is a bit miffed and asks "where the bloody hell can you go swimming at this time"

Paddy says " We can go in the Thames in our skiddies (underpants)"

Paddy then looks out onto his balcony and sees it's been raining; looking down at the shimmering road he shouts to Murphy "Oi -- the Thames is down here -- look!!!"

At that Murphy rips his clothes off revealing his Y-fronts sprints onto the balcony and dives off. SPLAT!! Straight into the road below.

After about five minutes he manages to pick himself up and shouts up to Paddy who's about to dive off the balcony. "Move over to the left a bit, this is the shallow end 'ere!!!"



An Irishman goes to a carpenter. "Can you build me a box that's two inches deep, two inches wide and 50 feet long?"

"Well," says the carpenter, "it could be done, I suppose, but what would you want with a box like that?"

"Well'" said the Irishman, "my neighbour moved away and forgot to take a few things with him -- and he asked me to send him his garden hose."