by Deputy Barnes » Tue 21 Oct 2014, 00:38:37
Listen up son, because I'm going to teach you about how to survive a world without oil. I see you're thinking about growing food to survive. You won't. Take your garden hoe pawn it for candy. It'll be the best decision you ever made.
It takes 1 acre of highly fertile land to generate enough food to feed one human being for a year. Of course you cannot actually take one plot of land and use it to grow the food necessary for a healthy diet. You can't herd cattle, grow pecans and harvest rice on the same acre. It's more accurate to say that a human being requires 1 acres worth of several different types of land.
How many of you have the dozens of acres of varied terrain and climate to pull that off? I'd reckon none of you. Most of ya'll are probably living in an apartment or a mortgage house. Shoot, I'm a Texas man and I don't even have enough land for that. Even if I did, how the f()ck am I supposed to be driving around the State of Texas to farm in an oil crisis?
Ya'll better not be thinking you're going to be farming and gardening in an oil crisis. None of you own your land. You pay rent in the form of taxes to the government in order to stay on it. It's the government's property. You better believe mean old Mr. Policeman is going to sieze that land in the event of a crisis. It happened in Latin America. It will happen here, too. Shoot, the government cracks down on backyard gardens even today.
That is to say nothing of marauding thugs who will raid your crops in a crisis. They'll also wanna raid your household for family jewels, but we'll get to that later. Some of these thugs may even be the police/military themselves when things get really bad.
Now. As I was saying, you're not going to feed yourself on gardening. You can't live on vegetables, son. They contain f()ck all in the way of calories. A human being requires 1800 calories a day just to stave off death. You're gonna need to double that if you're doing any work. There is only one way to get enough calories to survive when the system fails. It is the same way people got calories before the system existed: Fat. Fat is the most vital dietary nutrient you can consume besides water. It has double the calories of protein and carbs and is essential for your physical and psychological wellbeing.
Now you can fry your potatoes in olive oil and be good to go as far as calories are concerned. But can you grow enough olives to make you some f()uckin olive oil? Do you have a press for those olives? If not, that means you are counting on a store bought commodity you can't produce on your own. You can't grow fat in your backyard. It is too precious of a resource for man to yield control over. Only Nature can produce fat, and it takes a hell of a long time to do that.
Primitive man got his fat by hunting animals. Indeed the Plains Indians got marvelous amounts of fat from the buffalo they hunted. Civilised people weren't able to hunt if they weren't aristocrats, so they substituted meat with milk, cheese and oil. Nuts, too, were a dependable source of fat for sedentary savages.
You cannot expect to rely on any of the aforementioned food sources if the system breaks down. The United States was home to more wild animals than any other place on Earth prior to White man's arrival, but even then Indians often spent days on end away from home just to get a successful kill on their neverending hunts. Hunting is difficult, time consuming and rarely successful.
You can't leave your family for three days to hunt. The people you leave behind will be hunted.
Today there is little wildlife left in America and you will have limited success in hunting the sparse game available in light of all the competition you will face. With over 300,000,000 people in this country, many of them armed, all of the major wild animals (buffalo, moose, reindeer, white tail, wild hog, etc) will go extinct. This is exactly what happened in much of China 100 years ago, but wIth different animal species. You put guns in the hands of that many unregulated human beings and four legged animals tend to vanish spectacularly.
Livestock, too, will be rapidly exterminated..
This is not to suggest that all hope is lost. There is one surefire way to survive when the system tanks. It is the tried and trusted method that has been with us for eons: cannibalism.
The United States of America is home to over 300,000,000 human beings, many of them containing every bit as much fat as a buffalo. They cannot run quickly, are easy to catch and are safe to eat raw. Note that you probably will have to eat them raw, because you had better believe this country will be a treeless wasteland when people can no longer afford central heating. You'll want to hang the meat out to dry. Don't forget to break the bones open to get at the marrow; it has lots of fat in it. You can also dig a big hole in the ground and fill it with water to boil them. Fat rises to the top like cream and can be sipped through a straw. The Korowai are doing that to this day.
Of course I don't speak from experience here and I don't recommend eating human flesh... Unless of course your ass needs savin'. Which it will.
With this advice I leave you an important essay to read.
$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('', '
')It’s the autumn of 2025 AD. The technoindustrial system fell apart a year ago, but you and your friends are doing alright. Your garden has flourished this past summer and in your cabin you have a good supply of dried vegetables, dried beans and other foodstuffs to get you through the coming winter. Just now you’re harvesting your potatoes. With your spades, you and your friends uproot one potato after another and pick the plump tubers out of the soil.
Suddenly the friend at your elbow nudges you and you look up. Uh-oh. A gang of mean-looking men is coming up your trail. They have guns. They look like trouble, but you stand firm. The leader of the gang walks up to you and says,
“Nice looking potatoes you got there.”
“Yeah,” you reply. “They’re nice-looking potatoes.”
“We’re going to take them” says the gang leader.
“The hell you are!” you answer. “We spent a long summer of hard work growing those potatoes…”
The gang leader points his rifle at your face and says, “—— you, punk.” To his men he adds, “Dick, Ziggy, check the cabin and see what kind of food they got. We might just move in and spend the winter here. Mick, grab that bitch over there before she gets away. She got a nice ass. We’ll all screw her tonight.”
You get angry and start shouting, “You bastard! You can’t…”
The rifle goes BANG. You’re dead.
"The most common lie is the lie that one tells to oneself" -- Friedrich Nietzsche
Vote Republican.