That's pretty much me to. When I told my immediate family about it, that is the immediate family for ME (Mother, Aunt and Uncle) they were receptive. I've always been looked at as eccentric in my family. But they listened and understood what I was saying, probably because I broke down about two minutes in. But point is they listened and understood. I didn't like having to slap down some of their statemtents. My mother seemed to have trouble grasping the enormity of the problem. "I'll just not gas up my car" she says." But I think I got to her. But the most touching thing happened a couple of days later when I was talking on the phone with my Uncle. He asked how things were going since we spoke (ironically, this was around easter). I said alright. (When I first spoke to them, I hadn't really slept in days and was seriously emotionally unstable I think) He said "Whatever happens, we'll stick together". That to me was a confirmation of sorts. He's an old fashioned guy and (I don't want to say simple...) down to earth. What I mean is, it would probably be difficult for a man of his small town upbrining to really get what I was saying. But that he didn't dismiss me as a looney or disregard what I said. That he says we'll stick togethe resoftened my heart. Because I believe him. This little segment of the family is extremely close. We've also got a few hardcore survivalists! (No surprise, we're in Idaho) so maybe that'll be a plus.
But what scares me? Seeing them perhaps suffer and knowing there's no way out of it. Feeling myself suffer and knowing there's no way out of it. I'm not afraid to die for myself (if that makes sense). But like I said in my very first post here, leaving my twin alone in this future world well...sucks. What scares me is the process. You've seen pictures of those extremely bony people in Africa, starving to death over the course of years. My problem (and maybe this is selfish) is seeing myself like that. Seeing my family like that. When it comes to the point that there's no going back, you will starve to death, is suicide justified? Like throwing the towel in when boxing, is admitting you can't win and ending the fight really that dishonorable?
Thanks for reading.





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