In colonial America, kids died young. No matter how unwelcome, Death was a frequent visitor at family firesides from Boston to Savannah, where parents could expect to lose, on average, up to half of their brood before they reached adulthood.

According to 17th-century Puritan minister Cotton Mather, “a dead child [was] a sight no more surprising than a broken pitcher.”

Things didn’t get much better until the 20th century, when the Industrial Revolution brought cheap, abundant food and modern public health measures like municipal water and sewer service.

Thus, those famously large families in early American history, whether in a pioneer cabin on the prairie or in an immigrant tenement on the Lower East Side.

And it wasn’t just because the pill hadn’t been invented yet or there were a lot of Catholics. Parents had lots of kids in hopes that at least one or two would survive long enough into adulthood to provide for mom and dad in their declining years. Big families were the oldest form of social security.

This gave parents a different attitude than we have today about their kids.

“Parents loved and nurtured their children, but did not have the time to completely dote on each one, and felt restrained in making a full emotional investment in them, given their chances of being prematurely snatched away by death,” as Brett and Kate McKay write in “Why Growing Up is Hard to Do (But Why the World Still Needs Adults).”

On the farm and in the forge

However much or little they loved their children compared to today, parents in agrarian America greatly valued their kids economically. But children weren’t just a retirement program, an investment in the future. From an early age, children were also productive members of a family that was still the primary productive unit of the American economy.

Before factories and offices became the norm, most American parents worked at home on farms, in workshops and in small retail stores. Their kids worked alongside them, starting with simple chores at age seven or even younger.

Even when public education became widespread in the late 19th century — but before soccer practice came along in the late 20th — kids came home from school and fed fed the chickens or helped Dad whittle a stick into a chair leg before dinner. Farm and craft work gave children practice for supporting themselves as adults, teaching them valuable skills and a work ethic that gave them confidence.

Factory and then school

Meanwhile, industry was coming. After the Civil War established the Northern industrial economy over the Southern agrarian one as the model for the whole nation, factories and mines opened everywhere, hungry for workers. Big employers started to pull more Americans away from family farms and businesses, including the kids.

This took kids out of the home. But stories of horrible conditions spurred Progressive Era reformers to pass laws against child labor. Trade unions also wanted to kick kids out of the workplace to reduce competition with adults for jobs and raise wages for union members. And that gave kids time to attend the new public schools opening up all over the place.

Conveniently, the family began to die as a place of production just at the time when mass production made store-bought goods cheap and widely available, helping families outsource much of what they used to do themselves at home to consumer-product companies selling everything from ready-made clothes to bars of soap wrapped in paper.

The growing consumer economy also brought public health benefits. “As both family size and childhood mortality decreased in the 20^th century, parental investment in children rose. With only two or three children to raise, parents could afford to cherish their little ones and lavish them with attention,” the McKays explain.

Lower child mortality combined with the decline of family employment led to a profound change in how parents valued their children. Instead of workers expected to contribute to the family business according to their abilities, kids morphed into mere adornments — something like pets with a promising future. The McKays explain that this attitude started to harm the kids themselves:

As sociologist Viviana A. Zelizer observed, children “became economically ‘worthless’ but emotionally ‘priceless.’” This consuming focus on one’s children led parents to place an understandable, but inflated, value on their kids. Because children were the center of their universe, their kids seemed infinitely special and talented, and were raised to see themselves that way. Taught that they could do anything they put their minds to, when these children reach the threshold of adulthood, they can feel paralyzed as to which field they should apply their numerous talents.

Old people: Also free-riders, but less cuddly

What’s happened to kids, promoted from more-or-less capable home workers to mere consumers not expected to do much except develop themselves, has also happened to the generation at the opposite end of the age scale — the elderly. But in their case, you can hardly call it a promotion.

As children did before the industrial era, grandma and grandpa also used to provide economic value to American families. Like the kids, old people could perform tasks around the house, farm or workshop, from cooking to quilting to fixing things. But unlike kids, elders could share knowledge gained from life experience to the next two or three generations while entertaining the whole family with stories, songs and wisdom on subjects from religion to affairs of the heart.

Today, the American nuclear family gets its education from school, its entertainment from movies and TV and its advice from social media. That leaves old people with few economic roles in the family outside of cheap babysitters and providers of (hopefully) expensive gifts at birthdays and Christmas.

“I have stories,” one elderly woman told author Lewis Richmond. “A lifetime of them. But I can’t get my grandchildren to stop texting and watching their iPads long enough to listen.”

In contrast to most of American history, today both the elderly and children are free-riders in the family economy. But while parents lavish adoration on even the brattiest kids, those same parents are more likely to show annoyance to their own elderly parents who may need help.

That’s because children carry the promise of future career success that today’s ambitious parents hope will reflect back prestige enough on themselves to make all their parental sacrifices worthwhile. But the elderly lack this future potential and thus, in the cruel logic of American capitalism that has no need for their traditional skills and abilities, old people become worthless both economically and emotionally.

American oldsters today know that their best hope is saving enough money to take care of themselves when their productive years are finished.

The lucky retiree can look forward to a couple decades of leisure living in Miami Beach or Phoenix, which, from an economic standpoint, is just a high-class form of human warehousing. The unlucky old person will find herself widowed, living alone in a small garden apartment, her days spent flipping through the cable channels and waiting for the next visit by the nurse or Meals on Wheels.

But whether comfortable or poor and lonely, today’s older Americans know that expecting their adult kids to support them merely out of affection or duty promises about as much security as always relying on the kindness of strangers.

Peak oil and a return to the productive family

Only in an industrial economy where energy is cheap and corporations provide most of a household’s needs can families afford to turn two generations, the youngest and the oldest, into economically unnecessary people — Two generations of mouths-to-feed who don’t carry their own weight.

In a future where oil, gas and coal depletion makes makes energy more expensive, the consumer economy will shrink and fewer families will be able to afford microwave dinners and home cleaning services. That means more families will surely have to go back to the old model of doing more for themselves. Then we can expect that both seven-year olds and seventy-year olds will be put back to work chopping wood and carrying water at home.

And returning them to work in their families might be the best thing that’s happened to both young people and old people in a long time.

If they know their families rely on their diligent help, our children might start to really grow up again. And bringing our elders back from the golf course or senior living facility to do important work at home might restore them to the place of honor and dignity that they’ve held in families across the history of our species.

– Erik Curren, Transition Voice

16 Comments on "American kids in the Age of Oil: ‘Economically worthless but emotionally priceless’"

bobinget on Mon, 3rd Nov 2014 11:29 am 



The US loses six babies for every 100,000.
Finland three.
Korea three.
France four.
Italy three.
Iceland two.

http://data.worldbank.org/indicator/SP.DYN.IMRT.IN

eugene on Mon, 3rd Nov 2014 11:51 am 



Just had this conversation the other night. Personally, I see kids as having no purpose other than occupying parental time. I don’t see them as “emotionally priceless” but as emotional children. Life is, relatively meaningless as they, and their parents, frantically work at keeping them occupied resulting in lives filled with meaningless activity other than amusement. As my late 40s son in law states “I just want to have fun”. No wonder we are the world’s premier drug market.

paulo1 on Mon, 3rd Nov 2014 12:20 pm 



I think many will do better with ‘less’ as the future unfolds. I am 59 living a fairly simple and robust life with my wife. My two children are 34 and 30. They are both working and have homes, careers, etc. However, there is an unspoken knowledge between us all that they are lucky to have jobs and a bit of security. When I was their age I gave it nary a thought.

My daughter has just one child and my son says he does not really want children. I am delighted with the one grandchild we do have and just returned from a weekend visiting with her. My wife and I remark we are lucky they live close and that we can visit. Since I am a better fixer and builder I suppose I will always have a role helping out and contributing to my children’s lives and families. This summer I will be putting on a small addition and a new roof for daughter, and last winter I helped son finish off his place while he was away working. If modern grandparents are somewhat useless and the type where they have always had to hire everything done, just how are they expected to help out, anyway? (We are all going to transition). However, it is not too late to expect children to help out with the family responsibilities.

And just for fun and because I love the song, here are a few words from the Judds:

“Grandpa (Tell Me ’bout The Good Ol’ Days)”

Grandpa
Tell me ’bout the good old days.
Sometimes it feels like
This world’s gone crazy.
Grandpa, take me back to yesterday,
Where the line between right and wrong
Didn’t seem so hazy.

Did lovers really fall in love to stay
Stand beside each other come what may
was a promise really something people kept,
Not just something they would say
Did families really bow their heads to pray
Did daddies really never go away
Whoa oh Grandpa,
Tell me ’bout the good old days.

[musical interlude]

Grandpa
Everything is changing fast.
We call it progress,
But I just don’t know.
And Grandpa, let’s wonder back into the past,
And paint me a picture of long ago.

Dave Thompson on Mon, 3rd Nov 2014 12:47 pm 



Excellent writing on a swept under the rug subject, about how industrial complexities have destroyed what really matters, human family, friends and interaction with one another face to face.

Northwest Resident on Mon, 3rd Nov 2014 1:40 pm 



I’ve been discussing Peak Oil and all the implications with my son for several months now. When I first broached the subject with him, his reaction was that “they” will think of something, that new technology will prevent anything bad from happening, and that renewable energy combined with electric cars would be a major part of the solution.

But my son is what they call a “gifted” student, has been in all the advanced math and reading/writing classes from the very beginning, and also happens to be a heavy consumer of information on the internet. Why my son scribbles on his arm, it is the period chart or chemical molecular breakdowns. When he is on the internet, he tends to spend a lot of time on science related web sites. And he apparently has been reading up on peak oil.

This last weekend, after a long break, I brought up the subject of peak oil again. My son’s reaction this time was something like, oh well, it is better for the planet if we end the oil age, and people found ways to be happy long before the age of oil began and will find ways to be happy after the age of oil ends. He also has taken a sudden interest in the crops I am planting and other “prepping” activities I am involved in.

He does, however, still get that blank look in his eyes when I tell him that he probably won’t have regular cell phone and internet contact as the age of oil winds down to its terminal stage. He just can’t imagine a world without all the high-tech communications media because that is all he’s ever known. But all in all, I like to think that his mental preparation for what is coming has left the station.

I hope other parents are also “prepping” their children’s attitudes and expectations for the future, but I imagine most aren’t, in fact I’m certain of it. There are going to be a lot of lost souls wandering in the wilderness once collapse fully sets in. And THAT is so god damn sad to contemplate sometimes for me that it is almost unbearable.

JuanP on Mon, 3rd Nov 2014 2:53 pm 



NWR, I am glad to hear your son is gardening and prepping more with you. This subject has a high learning curve. He is very young, make it fun. Focus on gardening and prepping together together. I wish my parents had shared something like growing food with me, but I was the one that changed the lightbulbs at their house and took care of the garden when they let the gardeners go.
Enjoy it! Now, I am the jealous one. I will never get to experience gardening with my son. ;(

Northwest Resident on Mon, 3rd Nov 2014 3:12 pm 



JuanP — Thanks! Right now, it is more “interest” than volunteering to actually help. He does help and puts in a total effort when I ask him, but he’s not big on volunteering. I have to break him away from the internet and cell phone chat routine, but he’s got the “boy scout” attitude, which figures since he’s in the Boy Scouts — same as you. I asked him the other day if his troop had taught him how to build a rocket stove yet and he said no. So he still has plenty to learn — but definitely on the way.

yellowcanoe on Mon, 3rd Nov 2014 3:21 pm 



Large families haven’t gone completely out of style in the US. TLC have a show called “19 Kids and Counting”. Apparently, it has been on for a few years as it was originally “17 Kids and Counting”. I am absolutely appalled at seeing such a large family, but my wife enjoys watching the show.

Northwest Resident on Mon, 3rd Nov 2014 3:29 pm 



JuanP — BTW, as you no doubt know, having a child these days and in this country means giving up your freedom. That was very difficult to do for me. Prior to that, I was a snow-skiing, water-skiing, hiking/camping, scuba-diving and motorcycle riding fanatic. Having a child means you have to “grow up”, which means I had to dump the toys. Ask me when was the last time I went snow skiing, and I’ll tell you about one year before my son was born. Things changed radically at that point. I wouldn’t have it any different, just saying… It isn’t like back in “the old days” where having a son meant you had help on the farm and an heir to whatever you could manage to leave behind. These days, it is way different, which gets back to the original point of this article. Our highly plastic modern society has corrupted the natural balance in many ways, including the natural balance of the family. Anyway, I think there will be plenty available for adoption in the not too distant future — kids are kids, and if raised right can be very rewarding.

Makati1 on Mon, 3rd Nov 2014 7:38 pm 



I know some on here will be putting me down … again … for mentioning that Asia is actually better than the West in many ways, but… here, there are still mostly extended families living on a farm and pulling together to make it all work. That it is caused by lack of opportunity is not the case.

There is opportunity here. More than in the US. The Ps are growing at ~6% per year and expecting that to continue for years to come. There is no reason it cannot.

Then there are the ~10 million Filipinos and Filipinas working all over the world and sending income home for their families. Those are losing out on family life but know they are helping their families take another step up the ladder of success. Odds are, your future nurse, doctor or dentist will be from the Ps.

Our caretaker’s daughter started college here this year and I am sponsoring her. How, you ask? Easy. Books and tuition is ~P8,000/yr or the equivalent of ~$200/yr. Yes, that is correct, $200 per year. I spend more than that on coffee. One text book in the US could cost that much.

I have 2 step kids, 2 daughters, 13 grand kids and 2 great grand kids at last count. I worry about their future as I cannot seem to get any of them to see where we are heading. But, I cannot live their lives, only mine, as is true for all of us.

Davy on Mon, 3rd Nov 2014 8:10 pm 



100MIL people in a space the size of Arizona. What’s wrong with that?

antiwarforever on Tue, 4th Nov 2014 4:36 am 



…and with the coming of gay families and IVF, family lineages anyway are sometimes becoming blurred; de facto friendships often paly a bigger role for the elderly than relatives now.

JuanP on Tue, 4th Nov 2014 8:17 am 



NR, I have nephews and friends with kids. I understand the trade ins. I baby sit with my wife now and then to give my friends time outs. I love children, they are one of the wonders of this world, probably the most beautiful thing in life.

Getting a teen to volunteer for something these days is like drawing water from a stone, unless it is to put it in their CV. But just the fact that you talk to him about these things and that he sees your concern is enough for now, I think.

My wife and I are giving away Square Foot Gardening kits as presents this year to all the kids we know that have a place to put one. There are no gifts for grown ups this year, only for children.

Makati1 on Tue, 4th Nov 2014 8:22 am 



80% of your population in the cities and burbs and only 5% of your people still know how to farm. What’s wrong with that? lol. The US is a 3rd world country hiding behind the Fed printing press, but it is beginning to smoke and make grinding noises.

Davy on Tue, 4th Nov 2014 8:47 am 



I would rather be in a third world country with 300MIl and lots of space than a region ecologically destroyed with 4BIL. What a predicament look at Asia which has little quality space and they can’t feed themselves. Talk about smoking and grinding noises look at that Asian ship listing in the waves.

JuanP on Tue, 4th Nov 2014 11:56 am 



This is a great article. I consider it well researched and realistic.

All the things described in this article apply to most places of the world today, IMO, not just the USA. These are global problems. In Uruguay, it is exactly the same both with the young and the old. I just had my mother in law visit for a month and we talked about this. And my Uruguayan and Spanish nephews seem to be handcuffed to their tablets and smartphones since birth. They are almost cyborgs.