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Humor: Concerned Humans Under Massive Pressure

What's on your mind?
General interest discussions, not necessarily related to depletion.

Humor: Concerned Humans Under Massive Pressure

Unread postby Onyered » Sat 03 Jul 2004, 06:42:45

In reading through many of the posts on this forum I have found that many are very concerned about the survival of the lifestyles they have grown to love in the face of Peak Oil. Many express dismay over the very prospect of living on in a world without all the modern conveniences to which we have all grown accustomed.

Most are outraged and feel the need to “do something”. With that rationale in mind I feel that the time has come for a new organization.

CHUMPs (Concerned Humans Under Massive Pressure) will give these humans the opportunity to take action for the good of the earth and their fellow man.

As a founding member of CHUMPS you will have the chance to have your name written large in the Big Book of CHUMPs.

Endowment members (Recruit 10) will have their name written large in the Big Book of CHUMPs in stylish red letters.

Look for complete details soon at a thermal depolymerisation plant near you.

So, show you care, be a CHUMP.

Note: Sadly someone has to undertake to “write names large” in the Big Book of CHUMPs, and as much as I regret the fact, I have made it my mission to “vow to endeavor to persevere” and live on in misery and complete this service to my fellow man.

:twisted:
------------------------------------There's the way things are, and the way they oughta be.What you do is more important than how you "feel".
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?

Unread postby Cool Hand Linc » Sat 03 Jul 2004, 14:53:27

What exactly is it that is expected of a chump anyway. I think we already have thousands in our government. Do any of them have their names in the Big Book of CHUMPS?
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Unread postby Guest » Sat 03 Jul 2004, 19:14:59

are you a mormon?
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Unread postby Onyered » Sun 04 Jul 2004, 03:25:06

Am I Mormon? Well you should ask my three wives that question! :lol:

I suppose that the name of the organization should really be Concerned Humans under Massive Pressure and Quite a Bit of Heat but CHUMPaQBH didn't sing like just plain CHUMPs.

I am trying to find out the Thermal Depolymerasation yeilds for humans. You know how many chumps will it take to get me to the Quik Shop for a beer and a pack of smokes.
------------------------------------There's the way things are, and the way they oughta be.What you do is more important than how you "feel".
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Thermal Depolymerasation of humans

Unread postby sheilach » Mon 05 Jul 2004, 18:18:46

Now why didn't I think of that ! :D

We could solve both of our problems in one grind!

The 'sheeple' could be used to make oil and other raw materials reducing both waste and excessive 'sheeple'.

When we run out of 'sheeple', we would then have plenty of oil left over for us 'brights' to live in a manner to which we have become accustomed.

For a while at least. :lol:

We could also spare a few politicians for their hot air and gas.

Too bad we can't find at least one 'sheeple' who can turn water into OIL! :lol:
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CHUMP?

Unread postby Cool Hand Linc » Thu 08 Jul 2004, 22:20:17

I know a few chumps to seen to you. I think I can cinvince them t sigh over all assests to me. I can then donate part of the funds raised to continue the project. Get the word out so to speak. I feel that France could be a good place to launch the program.

If we all do the same we can get commercials even! :D
Peace out!

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Unread postby IronSheik » Sun 11 Jul 2004, 11:12:39

So CHUMP's is " soilent green"?
Who are you onyered?
Moses?


P.S.
Will mortiaury cadavers work?
I know where some could be had cheap!
Let me know.
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Unread postby Aaron » Sun 11 Jul 2004, 11:44:11

Politicians are wolves and so are lawyers... (My apologies to wolves everywhere)

The solution is to force all the world's lawyers to swim to a remote island somewhere, with a politician under each arm.
The problem is, of course, that not only is economics bankrupt, but it has always been nothing more than politics in disguise... economics is a form of brain damage.

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Unread postby IronSheik » Sun 11 Jul 2004, 12:19:22

Leave the lawyers and politicians to me. Because I am lame and slow witted. My wife is the boss and I like it that way. Please Honey, can I watch TV!
Without her support I would have many less rubles.


P.S.
I have 2 extra politicians I could let go cheap?
Let me know
Do your part for the economy...
Spend all your money.
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Good

Unread postby Cool Hand Linc » Sun 11 Jul 2004, 20:36:45

Are the politicians female? Do they have strong backs. After peak oil occurs I made need someone to carry a large backpack.

Ironsheik, Most people don't admit to being slow witted. You should keep this to yourself.
Last edited by Cool Hand Linc on Sun 11 Jul 2004, 20:41:19, edited 1 time in total.
Peace out!

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Unread postby Onyered » Sun 11 Jul 2004, 20:36:51

I would be very interested in the politicians as they are generally so oily I could decant enough gas from each one to go to the store and buy a 6 pack of beer and a pack of smokes, after of course writing their names large in the Big Book of CHUMPs.

Let me know.
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Unread postby IronSheik » Sun 11 Jul 2004, 20:44:41

Yes.
These are 2 sassy she-male politicians
that are definately 10W-30.
They will make for long days in the field,
and for even longer nights as they care
for all the future farmhands you will have
as a result of your union with these
wide-hipped beauties in the prime
of thier child-bearing years.

Also have some finely-aged lame ducks
if your interested.
Let me know
Do your part for the economy...
Spend all your money.
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Unread postby IronSheik » Sun 11 Jul 2004, 21:13:37

HaHa.
Very funny missinglinks
I post funny talk to make IronSheik look the fool.
You see I subscribe to the old saying:
"To make myself look good,
I must make others look bad"

You will be sorry.
Prices for you just went up.
Will cost you many more dollars.
Do your part for the economy...
Spend all your money.
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Unread postby dmtu » Sun 11 Jul 2004, 21:15:45

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('IronSheik', 'Y')es.
These are 2 sassy she-male politicians
that are definately 10W-30.
They will make for long days in the field,
and for even longer nights as they care
for all the future farmhands you will have
as a result of your union with these
wide-hipped beauties in the prime
of thier child-bearing years.

Also have some finely-aged lame ducks
if your interested.
Let me know


Is voice box removal extra? Can they be cared for by vets?
You observed it from the start
Now you’re a million miles apart
As we bleed another nation
So you can watch you favorite station
Now you eyes pop out your sockets
Dirty hands and empty pockets
Who? You!
c.o.c.
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Unread postby IronSheik » Sun 11 Jul 2004, 21:20:33

You buy as is.
IronSheik is not WalMart,
but these two will "rollback"
Recomend leaving the voice box in
so you can also enjoy the bonus Hummer.
All medical supplies should be available
at your local feed store.
Do your part for the economy...
Spend all your money.
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where?

Unread postby Cool Hand Linc » Sun 11 Jul 2004, 21:58:17

Where is burning sands?

This is off topic but I feel need to ask. What does not showing for months do to body odor. I find 2 days the maximum I can stand. How can you go for months with out bathing?

Do you think the decline after peak oil will bring the world to NOT BATHING for days at a time?

Do you see CHUMPS as a possiblitly for saving the world for a few? "The needs of the few out weigh the needs of the masses". Its a fundamental change in thought.
Peace out!

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Unread postby IronSheik » Sun 11 Jul 2004, 22:10:39

Burning Sands is where the sand burns like fire.
When the time comes and you have no water
in which to bathe, your soft pink skin will blister
and puss while my superior body will stand the test.
Then I will find your name in the book of CHUMPs
and make foul upon it with my manhood.
Do your part for the economy...
Spend all your money.
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LOL

Unread postby Cool Hand Linc » Sun 11 Jul 2004, 22:39:07

LOL 8O

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Peace out!

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Unread postby sheilach » Sun 11 Jul 2004, 22:43:01

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('', 'B')urning Sands is where the sand burns like fire.
When the time comes and you have no water
in which to bathe, your soft pink skin will blister
and puss while my superior body will stand the test.
Then I will find your name in the book of CHUMPs
and make foul upon it with my manhood.


Since your so 'unwashed' IronSheik, I bet your 'manhood' is very 'foul' indeed! :roll:


$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('', 'D')o you think the decline after peak oil will bring the world to NOT BATHING for days at a time?


Much of the world does very little bathing now, water is scarce in many parts of the world, too scarce to use for a mere BATH! :roll:

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('', 'R')ecomend leaving the voice box in
so you can also enjoy the bonus Hummer.
All medical supplies should be available
at your local feed store.


Ah, IronSheik, us women refuse to eat rabbit pellets! Our teeth you see will not re-grow when they wear down :roll:

But in that bazzar of yours, Ironsheik, do you have any nice, young, strong virile MEN?
I could use a few to do the heavy work, like plowing the fields and keeping me entertained. :twisted:
But I do not want them if they have foul manhoods and if they have not bathed for so long the flys that land on them die on contact! :lol:
Live like there's no tomorrow
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Unread postby IronSheik » Sun 11 Jul 2004, 22:50:32

sheilach,
Yes.
I can supply you with many men.
(sounds as if you may require many men)
But they will cost you many dollars
for they are all strong and virile like myself.

I have many accessories to go with these men.
I can let them go cheap!
Let me know
Do your part for the economy...
Spend all your money.
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