[Kristen]

Hi guys i just finished a very short story about a dream I had, Feedback appreciated

The Aquarium
by Kristen Mcgreagor

The man opens the doorway. The woman peers into the dark room, “What’s in here?” She takes a sip of burgundy wine.
“The end of our tour, my most prideful achievement, he says grinning. He motions her to enter the room as he reaches past the doorway and turns on the neared switch, lighting the right wall of the room. The woman enters, “It’s remarkable.”
An aquarium that covers the entire wall glows with light. Schools of small fish swim around in circles through their artificial reefs and gateways. Crabs and Lobsters trudge through the sands of peaks and valleys near the bottom. The man enters the room.
“There’s more,” he says, switching on the second switch.
The left side illuminates a second aquarium with green light. In this aquarium large Characins and Eels swarm through in their green environment. The woman gasps and a step away as a hammerhead shark passes by the glass.
The man laughs at her reaction, “Now now don’t worry; there is at least three inches of glass in between us.
“How in the world-“She starts.
“Go on take a closer look,” He says with a boyish charm she cannot resist.
The woman walks over to the glass wall. She figures the room must twelve feet high. When she reaches the glass she squints to see how far back the tank, but the greenish hue just seems to grow fainter and fainter into darkness. Suddenly a behemoth creature the length of the wall swims by, she jumps back “What is that?”
“It’s simply a coelacanth my darling, they’re from prehistoric times.”
She takes another sip of her wine and looks back at him. “You are incredible Professor Endenback” She notices that border of the doorframe is a glass tube. “Why is there a tube there?”
“To keep the big fish from the little fish,” The professor answers, “We wouldn’t want them to get eaten, would we now?”
She nods her head.
“Everything is so beautiful professor,” She says in awe.
“Please call me Brian.” He replies. “Although I must say Gina, that is you who are the most beautiful sight.”
Gina blushes.
“Now If you’ll step back into the hallway with me, There is one last thing I want you to see.”
Gina obliges. As she reaches him, he takes her arm and guides her out of the room like a gentleman. When they exit he hits the last switch. The red carpet rolls up and a mechanical purring begins underneath. Gina’s eyes widen as the floor elucidates. It is another glass encasement with more unknown sea creatures she could imagine. The depth seems infinite.
“How on Earth Brian? I mean this must have cost you a fortune.”
“Nonsense,” Brian assures her, “ It was far less than a swimming pool. The aquarium is about thirty feet deep. Shall we have a dip?”
Gina looks at him with uncertainty, “What do you mean?”
“I have all the equipment necessary to enter the tank of course. It will be like scuba diving.”
“Well this is the most original date I’ve ever had.” She said smiling, “I would love to.”
“I’ll go grab our wet suits, if you just want to wait in the bathroom to the right of the main parlor I will be right there,” Brian said. His dark eyes sparkle with excitement.
“Would it be too much to ask for another glass of wine?”
He takes the glass from her hand and gently kisses her cheek, “I’ll only be a moment.” He disappears and heads upstairs to his equipment room. He pauses yet a moment to make sure his student is obeying his orders. He hears hear footsteps as an acknowledgement and continues to his destination.
Inside the room he quickly changes into his wet suit and grabs hers. He takes two of the oxygen tanks off the shelves and presses the release oxygen button on one of them until it is almost depleted, “That ought to do the trick old chap,” He grabs the other wet suit and runs back downstairs it to give her.
He leaves the wet suit at the bathroom doorway and informs her to change and meet him in the room. He whistles merrily as he makes his way back to the bar to refill her wine. Setting the two tanks down, he takes the bottle on the counter and tops his off too.
When he returns to the room he presses button on top of the doorway. A motor hums and the glass slowly heads towards the others side of room. A smell of salt water rises from the water underneath. Gina appears a few minutes after dressed in full gear. She winks at him from behind her scuba mask.
He winks back “Now my dear, I am just going to attach your oxygen tank for you. He twists a tube onto her mask and connects the tank to her back intentionally out of her view. He attaches his to his mask as well and kneels off the small platform and inserts his legs into the water. Gina follows his demonstration as grabs her hand.
“All set?”
She nods and soon they disappear into the dark waters. Holding his hands he leads her deeper and deeper into the depths of the aquarium. Gina looks up to the surface and feels uneasy when she gazes back at the surface only to find it unrecognizable. She looks at Brian as he frees her hands, winks, and swims away. She tries to follow him but gets lost between the giant swarms of fish in her way. The size of the tank is impossible, she thinks to herself.
Suddenly she gasps. A feeling of being choked overcomes here and she realizes her tank must be to blame. With all of her strength and power she roars upward, ignoring her lungs as they try to suck in air. Just as she sees the light of the surface and thinks she is going to make it her hands slam against the glass wall. Just as her mind registers what has happened to her, she fades away.

Later that night the man returns to inside the aquarium. He finds Gina’s lifeless body caught on a piece of reef. Quickly he removes her from the wet suit and carries her body to the feeding grounds as he likes to call it. He chains her body to a large slab of rock surrounded by bones and swims back to the surface before letting the large fish out of their separate encasement. From the surface he sees a flurry of bubbles rise to the surface. “Eat well my friends.”
He turns off the lights and shuts the doorway.

[POAlex]

Sheesh, quite the dream.

Alex

[Kristen]

Thank God it was in third person

[blukatzen]

Gruesome....dreams you have! I guess it's a start in horror fiction short stories.

Blu

[Schmuto]

I think the story would be vastly improved if the female protagonist was naked and there was a detailed description of her breasts.

[mgibbons19]

Interesting. It does make me want to know the backstory.

[PrestonSturges]

You might want to read up on how scuba gear actually works, unless you are going "The Speckled Band" fantasy route where the villain summons his poisonous snake by whistling (snakes are deaf) and rewards it with a saucer of milk.

[SeaGypsy]

The dangers of red wine and straight oxygen hey?

I psychoanalyse this as a dream with a cover control mechanism.
The 1st part is like a sexual desire based fantasy with the rich dude seducing the girl with his amazing control over nature. He is inviting her into his wild but controlled universe. The girl is surrendering to his sexual power but the combination of influeces takes her out of her depth. She freaks out but can't get back control; someone must have control so it's the rich dude with the mega fish tank.

I think you ought to get out more and choose friends for different reasons.

[vision-master]

I had a dream the other night. I met a high-ranking spiritual deity and was told ' Do not pursue materialism as it will only make you unhappy, keep following your spiritual path'.

[blukatzen]

look here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c7paSzXEe2Q

It can be done as in the story!

Blu

[Kristen]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('PrestonSturges', 'Y')ou might want to read up on how scuba gear actually works, unless you are going "The Speckled Band" fantasy route where the villain summons his poisonous snake by whistling (snakes are deaf) and rewards it with a saucer of milk.

[Kristen]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('SeaGypsy', 'T')he dangers of red wine and straight oxygen hey?

I psychoanalyse this as a dream with a cover control mechanism.
The 1st part is like a sexual desire based fantasy with the rich dude seducing the girl with his amazing control over nature. He is inviting her into his wild but controlled universe. The girl is surrendering to his sexual power but the combination of influeces takes her out of her depth. She freaks out but can't get back control; someone must have control so it's the rich dude with the mega fish tank.

I think you ought to get out more and choose friends for different reasons.

[Kristen]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('vision-master', 'I') had a dream the other night. I met a high-ranking spiritual deity and was told ' Do not pursue materialism as it will only make you unhappy, keep following your spiritual path'.

[Kristen]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('Schmuto', 'I') think the story would be vastly improved if the female protagonist was naked and there was a detailed description of her breasts.

[Schmuto]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('Kristen', '')$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('Schmuto', 'I') think the story would be vastly improved if the female protagonist was naked and there was a detailed description of her breasts.

[Kristen]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('Schmuto', '')$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('Kristen', '')$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('Schmuto', 'I') think the story would be vastly improved if the female protagonist was naked and there was a detailed description of her breasts.

[jboogy]

I liked it. You might want to throw in a twist somewhere to keep people on their toes.

I had a dream years ago and it is one of the few that I can and always will remember. When I met my wife I also met, at around the same time, a young, very attractive girl at work named Marie. We hit it off like few women I've ever met before. We clicked. Anyway one night I dreamt that I lived in the trees and I was trying to give Marie an apple but she wouldn't take it and she kept telling me that she had presents she had to give to Terry, (her boyfriend). That's the basic bones of the dream and it doesn't take Sygmund to figure out that I had unresolved biblical issues regarding the garden of eden, snakes and .....ummmm, forbidden fruit!
Anyone else with a dream they'll never forget?