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Are You a Loner?

Discussions related to the physiological and psychological effects of peak oil on our members and future generations.

Re: Are You a Loner?

Unread postby Ludi » Sun 07 Sep 2008, 19:18:46

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('threadbear', 'T')his is like telling someone who enjoys star gazing to just go out and become an astronaut, in terms of difficulty.

Thank you for understanding the difficulty. I admire people who are truly and completely happy being loners. I'm mostly ok with it, but I do still feel I am missing a great deal not having close friends.

The most difficult social thing I do is once or twice a year I hold a gathering for the area pagans and freethinkers, here at our place, when we have a potluck and campfire (it's usually around Halloween). It's very difficult. One time I got so overwhelmed I took a sedative, and went in the house thinking "I'll just lie down for a little while" basically passed out and missed the rest of the party. Every time, I tell myself I won't do it again because it's too hard. But I know it isn't "really" hard. Everyone is nice and we have a couple folks who are really good at talking enough to carry the conversation. My biggest worry is that people will be bored. We've done this for about four years so I guess they don't get too bored. Usually we get about 8-12 people. I see the freethinkers every month or two (the only "club" of sorts I belong to is a freethinker lunch group), but the pagans just this once a year.

Wow, writing about that makes me feel like quite the social butterfly, capable of hosting parties! But I can't really express how emotionally difficult it is. I get overwhelmed with anxiety. Anxiety disorder has nothing to do with reality.
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Re: Are You a Loner?

Unread postby ReverseEngineer » Sun 07 Sep 2008, 19:27:34

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('mos6507', '')$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('BigTex', 'I')'ll bet if you went to a peakoil.com convention
Does anyone really see that happening? It seems like most here really don't want these online relationships to progress beyond the comfort of the characters we portray through our avatars.

I am ALL FOR a Peak Oil Convention! I'll even volunteer to host it up here in Alaska!
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Re: Are You a Loner?

Unread postby Byron100 » Sun 07 Sep 2008, 19:33:26

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('ReverseEngineer', '')$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('mos6507', '')$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('BigTex', 'I')'ll bet if you went to a peakoil.com convention
Does anyone really see that happening? It seems like most here really don't want these online relationships to progress beyond the comfort of the characters we portray through our avatars.
I am ALL FOR a Peak Oil Convention! I'll even volunteer to host it up here in Alaska!

Sign me up! I've got some frequent flier miles I need to burn, so I'd be thrilled to come up on your way to a PO convention. :-D
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Re: Are You a Loner?

Unread postby Auntie_Cipation » Sun 07 Sep 2008, 19:42:44

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('Ludi', 'I') see the freethinkers every month or two (the only "club" of sorts I belong to is a freethinker lunch group), but the pagans just this once a year.
Wow, writing about that makes me feel like quite the social butterfly, capable of hosting parties! But I can't really express how emotionally difficult it is. I get overwhelmed with anxiety. Anxiety disorder has nothing to do with reality.

Ludi, I feel for you with the anxiety disorder, I really do.

Used to be that one of my favorite hermitlike things to do when I was working full time was to go out to lunch by myself and read a book. Even in a small town of 3000 or so, I would only occasionally be "interrupted" by running into someone I know and ending up visiting instead. But here in my current location (about 1500 people in the valley total) it would be rare to not find someone who wants to sit at my cafe table and chat. I finally decided that if I'm prepared, I can have a good time either way -- if a friendly person wants to stop and talk, that's cool, and if not, I get to read which is what I wanted in the first place. I don't know if reading in a cafe would be easy or even appealing to you, but I thought I'd share that.

Also, those "freethinkers" and the pagans sound like the same crowd of people I'd want to hang out with -- and a lunch gathering every other month plus a party once a year sounds just about right for me too!
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Re: Are You a Loner?

Unread postby Byron100 » Sun 07 Sep 2008, 19:46:15

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('Ludi', 'W')ow, writing about that makes me feel like quite the social butterfly, capable of hosting parties! But I can't really express how emotionally difficult it is. I get overwhelmed with anxiety. Anxiety disorder has nothing to do with reality.

I have to say that I'm very impressed that you're able to do what you're doing in the face of such severe anxiety...I know that takes a lot of courage on your part to even think of doing something like this. :)

While I don't have social anxiety per se, I do have a phobia of getting on people's "bad side" (in real life, that is, online, it doesn't bother me that much...LOL). Nothing crushes me more than to have someone other than family or my partner to be openly upset at me, especially for something that was totally out of my hands. Like the time I bumped into someone I know at a beer fest and got a bit of beer on his arm (not exactly a friend, just someone I know), and he got all angry at me. I honestly wanted to curl up and die right then and there...the feeling was that intense. :cry:

Hence my stay-at-home life mostly for the past decade or so, as I was emotionally devastated by a former boss back when I had that office job in the '90s, who would yell at me and cut me down for the littlest things, even in front of members of the public. Sad to say, that led to a whole lot of problems, which I'm still struggling to recover from to this day.

But yeah, I certainly know that feeling of total mortification...it's just something I seek to avoid at any and all costs.
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Re: Are You a Loner?

Unread postby ReverseEngineer » Sun 07 Sep 2008, 20:47:08

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('Byron100', 'S')ign me up! I've got some frequent flier miles I need to burn, so I'd be thrilled to come up on your way to a PO convention. :-D

Well, I FOR REAL do have a place to host it. The main question really would be how many people would come up here for it.? Also how exacltly to price it out? I'm thinking $100 fee for a 3 day convention, exclusive of lodging and travel costs?

I would also attend any PO convention held elsewhere, if that seemed to work better than Alaska, which of course is darn far from everyone.

I think we need to start a new thread on organizing up a Peak Oil Convention.
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Re: Are You a Loner?

Unread postby Heineken » Sun 07 Sep 2008, 22:25:36

Actually there is an old thread on the PO.com Convention subject, Engineer. The idea didn't get off the ground then, but maybe it would now?

Alaska is way too far for most of us to travel to (although I'd love to go there). A national convention would have to be centrally located---maybe something like Kansas City? Not too expensive and definitely central.

As the author of the original thread on the subject, I'm naturally very favorable to the idea. But as I recall there were plenty of practical objections (although I don't remember them specifically).

An option would be regional or state conventions, which would be much easier to get to but might not include the people you most want to meet.

I'm for a national convention. Do it right if you're going to do it at all.
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Re: Are You a Loner?

Unread postby mos6507 » Sun 07 Sep 2008, 23:07:07

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('Ludi', '
')You're confusing ability with the written word with social skills. It is very different in person, I barely speak.


Are you like that even with people you already know? You can write emails to them but in person you freeze up?

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('Ludi', '
')But if there is one, I will think of what you say and try hard to accept it! 8O


Try to look at it in a pragmatic way. You like to talk about the value of community. Well, you need people you can rely on in the coming hard times. It's hard to rely on people you never talk to. How can they feel any responsibility to help you out and vice versa?
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Re: Are You a Loner?

Unread postby mos6507 » Sun 07 Sep 2008, 23:15:35

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('ReverseEngineer', '
')I would also attend any PO convention held elsewhere, if that seemed to work better than Alaska, which of course is darn far from everyone.


There are already are peak oil conventions, of course.

$250 memberships required :(

As long distance travel becomes cost prohibitive, you can forget any sort of peakoil.com get togethers. But I still believe in localized meetups.

For myself, the breadth of ideology that you see in peak oilers is a concern in a face to face meetup. Peak oil brings in a lot of people from different backgrounds and I really only see eye to eye with the hippie permaculture types. I would really have a hard time relating to people talking about guns and 911 and conspiracies and violent revolutions.
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Re: Are You a Loner?

Unread postby ReverseEngineer » Sun 07 Sep 2008, 23:26:11

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('Heineken', 'A')ctually there is an old thread on the PO.com Convention subject, Engineer. The idea didn't get off the ground then, but maybe it would now?

Alaska is way too far for most of us to travel to (although I'd love to go there). A national convention would have to be centrally located---maybe something like Kansas City? Not too expensive and definitely central.

As the author of the original thread on the subject, I'm naturally very favorable to the idea. But as I recall there were plenty of practical objections (although I don't remember them specifically).

An option would be regional or state conventions, which would be much easier to get to but might not include the people you most want to meet.

I'm for a national convention. Do it right if you're going to do it at all.


As a relative newcomer to the PO website, I'm really not the best person to rally for something like this, someone like MonteQuest would really be a better person to do it. Or perhaps yourself.

I agree KC is probably a better choice in being more accessible to more people, I'm good with that one also since my relatives all live close by there in Springfield, MO. I couldn't be "on the ground" help in finding a facility to host the convention there though.

Ideally, it would be a great place for vendors to bring their various survival tools, books and ideas, for POilers to network IRL and get to know the "preson behind the avatar" and to take an amorphous community of peopl only connected now by their ideas and concern for the future into a real life setting.

Problems? It of course costs money to set such a thing up, and it costs people money to get there. Given many of us (and myself more than most) call for DOOM on an almost daily basis, its hard to fgure how a significant number would budget $1000 or more to go to such a convention even planned out as short as a couple of months in advance.

Nevertheless, as I mentioned I would be happy to host one up here, there are numerous hotels and bed and breakfasts around here that have cheap rates once the whale watching season is done, and I can get a hold of a good size facility reasonably for classes, meetings and a vendor area. I wouldn't even try to do this though without the support of long time Peak Oil people.

Wherever it is held, I think if the core Peak Oilers who founded and built this website made a commitment to be there, it would draw many. It has to be supported by this group of people though or it won't draw.

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Re: Are You a Loner?

Unread postby ReverseEngineer » Sun 07 Sep 2008, 23:47:18

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('mos6507', 'F')or myself, the breadth of ideology that you see in peak oilers is a concern in a face to face meetup. Peak oil brings in a lot of people from different backgrounds and I really only see eye to eye with the hippie permaculture types. I would really have a hard time relating to people talking about guns and 911 and conspiracies and violent revolutions.


So where would you place me in that pantheon of Peak Oiler types, Mos? :-)

I also have noted a fairly diverse type of thinking and attitude here, and clearly some folks have a whole lot mor money than others as evidenced by their concern in how or what to trade in the markets. To be doing that at all, you clearly have to have more money than just living paycheck to paycheck.

As a result, one would figure a convention anywhere would be over-represented by those who still have enough money to afford discretionary travel of this type, and less by the permaculture "hippie" types who might be living on a subsistence farm right NOW on very little money.

So, chances are a PO Convention won't happen, and its left to each of us individually to meet up with others who are closer in a geographic sense. I will say also I will be happy to meet up with other Peak Oilers who come to visit Alaska at any time.

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Re: Are You a Loner?

Unread postby threadbear » Mon 08 Sep 2008, 00:06:35

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('ReverseEngineer', '
')
MonteQuest would really be a better person to do it.

Reverse Engineer


Now that would be a party a person with an anxiety disorder would enjoy. He'd take you all mountain climbing and you know what comes next. Well....would you cut the rope? Would you?

And if you made it through that, would you really want to drink punch made by someone so into population control. Seriously. Think about it. :lol:
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Re: Are You a Loner?

Unread postby ReverseEngineer » Mon 08 Sep 2008, 00:43:30

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('threadbear', '')$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('ReverseEngineer', '
')
MonteQuest would really be a better person to do it.

Reverse Engineer


Now that would be a party a person with an anxiety disorder would enjoy. He'd take you all mountain climbing and you know what comes next. Well....would you cut the rope? Would you?

And if you made it through that, would you really want to drink punch made by someone so into population control. Seriously. Think about it. :lol:


I would DEFINITELY keep Monte far away from the Punch Bowl ;-)

Keep him on a short leash. He is (was) entertaining though.

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Re: Are You a Loner?

Unread postby PrairieMule » Mon 08 Sep 2008, 00:58:06

This is a fantastic thread. I think just believing what we do about oil and energy automatically makes every one here a loner. At least the type of person that goes against the grain.

My "work" requires me to very social so in my downtime I prefer solitude. Now I really can work a social gathering or address a crowd of 200 plus. Yet on the flip side sometimes I really need to disconnect from the over load of social stimuli. My second obsession, backpacking, is done solo 90% of the time . I just prefer the company of myself. I like to spend at least 2-3 days a year out in Caprock Canyon. The canyon is so quite and peaceful.
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Re: Are You a Loner?

Unread postby mos6507 » Mon 08 Sep 2008, 01:08:07

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('ReverseEngineer', '
')So where would you place me in that pantheon of Peak Oiler types, Mos? :-)


Higher than those I've put on Ignore. I have about 100 members on my ignore list including some frequent posters who would be likely to go to a get-together.
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Re: Are You a Loner?

Unread postby mos6507 » Mon 08 Sep 2008, 01:09:31

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('ReverseEngineer', 'K')eep him on a short leash.

If you put a leash on Monte he might cut the cord, so to speak.
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Re: Are You a Loner?

Unread postby ReverseEngineer » Mon 08 Sep 2008, 01:20:05

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('mos6507', '')$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('ReverseEngineer', 'S')o where would you place me in that pantheon of Peak Oiler types, Mos?
Higher than those I've put on Ignore. I have about 100 members on my ignore list including some frequent posters who would be likely to go to a get-together.

I'l take that as a compliment :-)

Really Mos, you would be quite surprised I think if you met me IRL. I am a very relaxed guy overall and enjoy my work teaching children. I just observe society closely and I don't whitewash what I see when I write about it. Not pleasant stuff of course, but its the truth as I see it.

IRL however, I am basically a pretty pleasant fellow, and I love to joke around with my friends and the children I teach. Try to remember that the next time I come down hard on something you write I don't see as valid ;-)
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Re: Are You a Loner?

Unread postby Ludi » Mon 08 Sep 2008, 08:22:19

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('mos6507', 'A')re you like that even with people you already know? You can write emails to them but in person you freeze up?

Yep.
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Re: Are You a Loner?

Unread postby Ludi » Mon 08 Sep 2008, 08:59:50

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('ReverseEngineer', 'I')RL however, I am basically a pretty pleasant fellow..

....who plans to select children for survival based on their genetic likelihood to succeed and let the rest starve to death.

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Re: Are You a Loner?

Unread postby Byron100 » Mon 08 Sep 2008, 09:26:08

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('mos6507', '')$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('ReverseEngineer', 'S')o where would you place me in that pantheon of Peak Oiler types, Mos? :-)
Higher than those I've put on Ignore. I have about 100 members on my ignore list including some frequent posters who would be likely to go to a get-together.

And now why would you do a thing like that? Self-censorship is the very last thing I'd ever do, no matter what board I'm participating in. Of course there are some posters around here that I firmly disagree with, but I sure as heck want to know what they're saying. To me, it's all good...as I might actually learn a thing or two. Kinda the whole point of hanging out around here, right?

Like they say, keep your friends close, keep your enemies even closer. :-D
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